Dear friends, I miss you

Last year, I was invited to a new year's eve BBQ party with my university friends. In the invitation, family and children were invited too. I'm glad I declined because I would have fainted there from the number of children present!

Separately,  I've been trying to arrange a 3-girl gathering with my junior college friends. One of them is married and has a child. Meeting up would inevitably include a buy-1-get-1-free situation with her child.

Saying out loud "I have no interest in playing with your children" to a friend who has children might be as taboo as saying "I love having great sex as often as possible" (though I can't figure out why the latter should be the case - you must have done quite a lot of it to have children). But, dear friends, I want to catch up with you, not your child. What happened to the individual? I want to talk to you - the individual - not "daddy" or "mummy". Sure, everybody's children so clever and so cute but I don't have the intellectual interest to communicate with your children. It's not them; it's me.

Dear friends, I miss you. I am interested to know how you are doing and to have adult conversations with you. I know your family is an important part of your life. But you should not forget the individual that you are. Would your family be able to manage if you took a few hours off for yourself? Most of all, are you interested to know how your friends are doing and to have adult conversations?

(Maybe I'm delusional and none of my friends are interested in my life :D )


Anonymous said...

We enter this world alone, we leave this world alone. Such is life. Cheer up and focus on the little joys in life.

David said...

Your friends now with children are focused on thier families and children. You cannot ask these friends to seperate thier lives from thier children. Mothers are the first and formost caregiver for young chldren. Children and mothers grow together. Children recognize their mother first by scent, by mothers breast and feeding and by her voice. Mothers learn about themselves by the reactions thier bodies go through during pregnancy, delivery and the weeks post delivery. All this time building a most intimate relationship with her child.

You should not wonder why your friends are so attached to thier children. The mother child bond is very special. The early years at home are the MOST important years for a child. Their personality and moral values become part of them during those years. The childs abiltiy to love, like, laugh and relate with others are learned from both paraents.

With SG women marrying later it's a wonder you do not have more single, unmarried girl friends!

Anonymous said...

The fact that your friends have children and you do not must not cloud your mind with negativity. Just as you are happy in a life devoid of the hassles of bringing up children, your friends are equally happy doing it. If you choose to catch up on old times with them do expect that they want to share their joys with you too. You can't have your cake and eat it.