I just found out why I don't have many friends!

In my post "Don't lend money. Period. ", I wrote that in exceptional cases, I would "lend" what I can afford to lose. In the past few years, 3 friends have asked me for a loan. How many got loans? None. It was not because I was unwilling to lend them money at all. Of the 2 friends, I offered them amounts that I could afford to go without. Apparently, the amounts that I offered were too small so they rejected it. What does this mean?

1. The amount I offered was too little for them to trouble themselves.
2. They didn't really need the money.
3. They have other friends who are willing to loan them money.

Perhaps I've an old-school mentality of not borrowing money from anyone so I'm naturally less willing to loan money. The younger generation seem to be easy with lending and borrowing.

Example 1: I mentioned to a 20+ year old girl friend A that 50+ year old Guy X lent money to 20+ year old Girl Y. I said there was something strange about it. Girl A was surprised that I found it strange. She asked me whether I tried borrowing money from Guy X before as though it was the most natural thing in the world to do.

Example 2: A 20+ year old friend of mine didn't have enough money to pay his rent because of his job situation so he moved in with a friend who charged him very low rental. Despite his lack of money, he managed to get a used car*. How? Another friend who owed him money still didn't have money to return to him so that friend sold him the car.
*Not in Singapore, otherwise he'd get into a much bigger financial mess for taking the car!

One would need to have many friends who are just as easy with lending/borrowing money for such arrangements to work. Perhaps I dislike this practice because I do not have many friends to lend me money.

This led me to the realise that because I don't lend money to friends... I don't have many friends! :O


David said...

I found it interesting that you equate your number of friends with your lack of desire to lend others money.

I have rarely been in a position to be able to loan money, and on the few occasions someone has asked for a loan, and providing I could afford the money, I told the person that the money is not a loan, that he/she was to keep the money and do not feel an obligation to pay anything back.

I have not been able to do such many times. However being able to truly help someone in need is personally satisfying.

Do you think that some friends will not ask your for money becasue you are a women? Or do you thing few ask you for loans due to the fact you do not talk about your income level? If people think you make less money than you actually earn, many would be reluctant to ask.

Like you, I have only few friends. However those friends I do have are very dear to me.


Yu-Kym said...

I think it's because of my frugality.