Is there any point with keeping in contact as "friends only" with an ex-lover?

I'm not referring to the friends-with-benefits type of friend. Is it possible for anyone to be "just friends" with an ex-lover? (Excluding ex's whom you have children with because couples may remain friends for the sake of their children).

I was in contact with a few (either I contacted them or them contact me). There had been some good conversations in the past so it seemed to me like we could be friends. I thought I was just being nice but as with all good deeds, none goes unpunished.

Maybe they got the idea that I wanted to hook up or they were just trying their luck. There hasn't been one who hadn't hinted or suggested that we should get physical.

Who am I kidding? The conversations were just a way to get into my pants and they never thought of me as anything more than a sex object. Once I go down the road of getting physical, there's no turning back.

For avoidance of doubt, I don't have children - so I do not need to contact any of those guys. I don't need anything for them. Not a free meal, money, not companionship and certainly not sex. Keeping in contact wit them costs me time, energy and I get no benefits from it except a free meal which I can very well afford on my own. So it's best to stay away from them!

Note: It is possible that my theory is wrong because most guys would try their luck regardless of whether the gal is an ex or not!


David said...

Yu-Kym, these e's were as you mentioned after only one thing. Perhaps they felt you might be vulnerable to their approach. Some explorers might turn into a good friend. But the topic of sex would not be brought up, and whatever reason such an ex would contact you would become known early on.


Anonymous said...

Would you ever want to get married?


Anonymous said...

Certainly high costs! seriously who wana have sex with THE EX"??? .........At least I belief from my point of view

Anonymous said...

Sinkis are famous for being stupid!

These guys are prime examples!

Leo Mike said...

Seriously, Yu-Kym ?

ALL your ex-boyfriends only keep in touch for a chance to get into your pants ?

How many ex did you have ?

5 ? Or more ?

If it's more than 5, it may well be worth considering what was the nature of your relationship when you were shacking up.

Many ladies (from time in-memorial) make the mistake of looking for love by giving sex in exchange. My theory is - it leads to short-term relationships.

Perhaps you are still shoring up on your maturity - and require the experience to learn from.

No offence meant but I find it incredible an intelligent girl will go through so many intimate relationships and not settle down by now. Perhaps your expectations are high.

Yu-Kym, time is not on your side.

Everyone needs a mate to get on. It's the natural flow of life. Sooner or later, even a badly brought-up boy will learn his duties to wife and family.

Or you can train him, just be patient. You are definitely capable of being financially independent. So you may well take the lead in showing him the working mechanism of responsibility vs. fidelity in all relationships.

All men are trainable.

No one is perfect.