There are only winners and losers

During my recent participation in a team-building event, there was no prize but I wanted my team to win anyway - and we won despite our handicap of having 1 member less than the other teams. Someone from another team said that had there been a prize, they might have tried harder.

I love winning; I hate losing.

Although this may sound like what everyone loves and hates (respectively), I have observed that many people love winning but they don't mind losing at all. When they don't win, they may say that they don't care for the prize or that the prize wasn't worth the effort.

Have you ever had team members who always complain instead of focus on the goals? I've been in such teams for short periods of time but I find ways to break away eventually. I don't like to be associated with losers. Spare me the "everyone's a winner" and "win-win situations". If people are not winners, they're losers. If they didn't even compete, they're nothing.


David said...


"If people are not winners, they're losers. If they didn't even compete, they're nothing.

That is some brutal analysis!

I trust you noticed that most evry team also had the complainer/Whiner. The person who works hard, but finds something wrong about the project, other team members or something else.

Repeated studies have shown that 80% of the work in most companies is accomplished by 20% of the workforce.

Consider that many people do not like to compete for the sake of competing. Some cultures do not encourage girls to be competetive, although this is increasingly rare.

The real losers in life are those who learn nothing from failure, or those who truly fear failing and just go along a middling path their entire work career.

One can fail big, and learn valuable lessons that if properly applied can make them unbeatable the next competion.


The value of compassion cannot be over-emphasized. Anyone can
criticize. It takes a true believer to be compassionate. No
greater burden can be borne by an individual than to know no one
cares or understands.

-- Arthur H. Stainback

Paul said...

It's always been in my mind but I've always thought our educational system should teach our children to deal with failure cos it's impossible to win all the time.

I'm saying it from my personal experiences. I was in a singing competition and as what Yu-Kym had said, if you didn't win, you are deemed to have lost. Most of us who didn't win wasn't really sore about it and we certainly won't quit singing be cos that.

I guess if winning and losing affects you too much, then it might be better not to get involved in the game, and focus on other ways of getting what you want.

Anonymous said...

I think... some people really don't care for the prize. People may join competitions for reasons other than wanting to win. Just saying.

Anonymous said...

A win-win situation is always the best result with no loser.

David said...


From what Yu-Kym writes, I assume she is the Alpha female of any group she associates herself.

Most of us reading here cannot experience her personal effectiveness in a social setting or in the work place.

Likely one reason her employer sends her throughout Asia, an expensive place to travel on business, is that she produces. Her skill get results for the company clients and her employer profits.

Winning is desirable. That of course is a simplistic ideal.

There is no way 6 billion people can be winners. At least not in the traditional sense of gaining either noteriety, fame or fortune from winning. Olympic winners usually make a fortune in commercial endorsement. Successful musical groups make great money and achieve acclaim.

Being born, living the gift of life is one form of success.

Not everyone values life. Some see life and lives as disposable.

So does that make most of us losers?

I think not. True losing involves not learning lessons from failures. Losing results from never taking any risk.


Paul said...


I guess it depends on the prize that you are trying to win.

It also depends on what you do to win. If you sacrifice family and friends, peace and well-being just to "win", then I'll say you are most likely to be the biggest loser of all.

But aside from that, some friendly competition had always helped if it's taken in the right spirit.


David said...


You made an interesting point.

f you sacrifice family and friends, peace and well-being just to "win", then I'll say you are most likely to be the biggest loser of all.

Such people are numerous. Driven by material meausures of success, marked by high income, designer items, high brow address and influencial friends.

Materialism of this sort leaves the person a hollow shell of a soul.

Yu-Kym has written much about her love of money. Yet many post so a softer and compassionate side that at first would not appear compatible with crass materialist.

I have cautioned many readers who think they know Ms. Loh, like CC for example, that she is more complex than anyone can imagine.

Yu-Kym share infomation here that she is comfortable with. She has the courage to post very provocative and sometime brutal ideas. Her personal thoughts are more often presented in less direct terms, except where she truly dislikes something, such as God and organized Religion.

I will stop here before I meander off into social thoughts and ideas in uncharted regions.


Paul said...


I need to clarify my earlier post is a general statement and not in anyway specifically directed at Yu-Kym.

We could all make do with more $$$ undoubtedly. I'm just trying to illustrate the point if it is worthwhile to want to win at all costs when there are many other redeeming stuff in our lives to look at.

Perhaps I've neglected the bigger picture of my life earlier on and that's why that's the first thing I look at now in every issue.


Anonymous said...

I dont understand.

It is a TEAM building event. And yet Yu-Kym is talking about winners, losers and complainers in her team.

Isnt every team member's role to get the winners, losers, the positive and the negative ppl and the complainers together to build a team? Instead of breaking away to do your own thing because others dont appear to meet your mark, isnt team buidling about trying to reunite everyone despite the differences?

I dont understand then what is the purpose of participating in a team building event.

curious cat