Brazen PRC seductress

26
A man was involved in a sham marriage with a PRC. Only after marrying her did he find out that she was someone's mistress. I am guessing he had never had sex with her. In fact, when he asked her to leave her lover, she said she wouild only if he gave her an allowance of $2,000 a month, and an additional $400 for her to send home to China, to pay for her 16-year-old daughter, from her previous marriage in China, to come to Singapore to study, and he cannot have sex with her for the next three years, and can do so only after he has done well in his career.

I know many Singaporean women dislike PRC women for their loud voices and brazen pursuit of the single men, married men and widowers. Did I leave any categories out?

But there, there... there's no need to hate PRC women. Those guys that get cheated by them are not guys that we, Singaporean women, would want anyway. As for the married men who get cheated, their wives should re-consider the marriage arrangement: do him a favour by taking all his money before the PRC woman does.

Note:
I admire PRC women because:
- PRC women are smarter than Singaporean women.
- There are many PRC women who are richer than Singaporean men.

26 comments:

CBS said...

The man who got conned is also a PRC.
PRC = Pretty Ruthless Cheats.
Or Pretty. Ruthless. Cheats.

CBS said...

PRC women may go for money but then they'll still not find happiness coz happiness cannot be found in riches.

Anonymous said...

I want to know if I am a stupid man with a cunning woman!! I want views regarding the following:

I am now in a relationship with a woman and have been for close to 10yrs now. Before I met her, she has had a number of boyfriends and had been sexually active with all of them. It could have been simultaneous liaisons or consecutive ones...but the thing is she is sexually driven and exciting. She is what one would call a highly accomplished seductress! Her sexual adventurism is one of the things I like about her but I hope she is now monogamous because we have had great sex always and she is (or appears to be lol) happily satisfied with just me lol. Of course she has other non-sexual attributes I like in a woman too. Together, these are what kept us going for so long. Yeah!!

But in the midst of all these happy years with her, there is one serious flaw in her - her penchant for gambling away her hard earned money. After repetitive assurances from her that she will no longer gamble...with the opening of the casinos, I have actually caught her in the casino gambling, worse .....in debt with loansharks, paid off her debts and gotten her to promise me never to go back to this habit or loansharks again or else I will end our relationship. She agreed to this ultimatum because I believe she knows she will have enormous difficulties finding a better companion than me. So far it appears so good.

But the thing that bothers me is whether she is actually continuing to gamble on the sly since she is in the salesline. And with her unpleasant experience tangling with loansharks, could she have now opted to supplement her gambling funds with offers of sexual favours with other men on account of her sexual appetite and talent?

Is there a chance... with her addiction to gambling (which she has promised to give up although she had been caught red-handed once before) and her sexual prowess in bed...could she be giving me the merry go round again with secret gambling escapades and cheating on me to furnish her gambling funds? I could not find any evidence to prove my doubts so I really have no cause to be so. But in view of what I know she is capable of, it is niggling at me.

Is there any cause for me to be suspicious or alarmed? Or am I the stupid one here to continue to trust her?

By the way, we are both in good paying professional jobs...I am a Singaporean and she is a Malaysian PR...not PRC! lol

curious cat

Paul said...

The cultural gap is too wide to bridge even when Mandarin is a common language. Most who marry PRC to have sex IMHO.

David said...

Yu-Kym,

The male who fell for the PRC women is a fooling man. Desperate and naive.

When she asked for money as a condition for leaving her lover, a male with any sense would have walked away at that moment, and never looked back.

However one must look at all male and females and realize neither gender has an advantage when comes to wisdom or foolishness.

No one should hate any women of any ethnic origin. No doubt some SG women as smarter than most PRC women and craftier.

The ability to attract a man into a legitimate relation is different than the PRC you describe. That women is a gold digger. She wants the good life and the money to live the way she desires.

David

Paul said...

China was a country which had been poor until in these recent 20 odd years or so. I guess it is understandable for PRC to crave for the good life when by their large population, competition is fierce and the chances to make good slim.

Anonymous said...

China is behind us Singapore in the development of their society just as we are now behind some top-rated western countries in our own embarassing ways. So everything is relative. To compare and denigrate those lesser than us is unwise but not unnatural or uncommon as a human trait.

But at the same time, if we remember too that we were once in exactly those same ugly shoes and realise that as a people living in a tiny island, we could just as easily go to the boondocks, we must tamper our negativity about others with less cockiness, with at least some humility and understanding of realities.

curious cat

CBS said...

Curious Cat,

Gambling is an addiction. Behind every addiction there is a root cause or a set of causes.

Google and read up on gambling addiction. You will understand her weakness better. Nail down the root and you'll know how to solve the problem.

BTW, a lot of girls turn to prostitution to clear debts. The first one I helped fell into that pit. I helped 3 before. They've all left the trade. :)

Anonymous said...

CBS,

The root cause? Or maybe causes? Same with her drinking and smoking (although not as serious), perhaps gambling is another form of release from work or some kind of mental stress? Only it's a more severe release for her because of the excitement gambling generates. I really dont know what to think!!

So if she gambles on the sly, that is bad enough. What if she grants sexual favours to another man (or men?) who can provide her with cash for her gambling needs? This is even worse...for me that is! Your remark about girls prostituting themselves to clear debts highlights this possibility. I just have to look out for evidence before I dump her. This thing may be destroying us.

How did you help those girls away from prostitution?

curious cat

Anonymous said...

curious cat,

You are supporting a prostitute, simple as that!

curiouser cat.

Anonymous said...

Curiouser (or more curious) cat,

Yes you are right because I am fully aware of this highly possible conclusion too. But how do I find evidence to support this unfortunate outcome?

curious cat

CBS said...

Curious Cat,

If you truly love her, give her a chance. No gambler likes to be a gambler and becomes the target of loan sharks.

Learn to talk to her and understand a woman's emotional needs. If your relationship is primarily sex-based, you will miss out in finding the beautiful side of her.

CBS said...

Curious Cat,

I helped those 3 unfortunate ladies by bailing them out of their predicament.

No. I did not have any sexual engagement with them as that would be an exploitation.

In their line, some are forced into it to help the people they love: parents and children. So they were prepared to sacrifice themselves. It's not easy for a girl to sell herself as they have to harbor this dark secret for the rest of their life. Some are blackmailed later in life.

After dealing with them, I've learnt to look at them through different lenses. To give them a lot of slack.

For those who sacrifice themselves for the people they love, in one sense, they are admirable.

And yes, I do not mind marrying one of them as long as they are no longer in this line. If they are prepared to sacrifice for their loved ones, I reckoned they'll be prepared to sacrifice for me too.

Therein, lies their beauty.

Of course, they will need a lot of constant assurances that I'll accept them fully for what they are and do not hold their past against them.

I'm single, btw. :)

Anonymous said...

Wow CBS! Reading your advice, I am amazed what an uprighteous man you are! I cannot reach the lofty heights of your morals.

Although I love my mate or else I would not have stick to her for so many years, but my love cannot be said to be true and blind. And yet I do love her. What a puzzling situation huhh?

I cannot accept and cannot see beauty in her if she continues to gamble, betray my trust and offer her body to some other men. Like one other contributor said...she is essentially a prostitute!!!

Yes I can see why those prostitutes you helped deserves compassion and understanding. But my mate isnt in the same predicament or circumstances as those girls.

Somehow I cannot accord the same leeway to my own woman. I cannot forgive her if she repeats her mistakes and cheat on me. I do not know how to talk sense into her. I am actually out to catch her in the act. I have so much negativeness about her problem gambling and cheating inclinations, I think ultimately I will destroy us. Coz she is happy....I suspect...to just continue with her old ways...but I am not.

You are still single and yet you have the maturity and principles of a wise sage. Which woman would not want to have you for a husband?

You surely cant be very young in view of your wisdom. You must have remained single for good reasons.

curious cat

David said...

CC,

Based on information you have provided, it is very likely your GF is a gambling addict.

You mentioned you have caught her gambling on the sly, and perhaps selling sexual favours, perhaps as a means of paying off gambling debts.

Most addicts will anything to continue supporting their habit, lying, stealing, and cheating to get enough money to pay debts or support the habit is all that matters.

Until she will truly look at herself, and HONESTLY admit to herself and everyone she knows, that she is truly an addict, then until such an admission and acceptance of what she is, there is nothing you can really accomplish.

There is a real danger she will pass an STD to you, danger that she will take advantage of you and those she know to gain the funds to continue her gambling. Addicts can often have exciting personalities, be fun people to be with and can be very engaging personalities.

Right now, she is a danger to herself and to you.

Until she willingly go throug a real therapy program.

You need this information:
GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS
Redhill G.A.
7:30 - 8:30 PM
WE CARE Drop-in Centre
620 Tiong Bahru Road
Postal Code 158789
Singapore

http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/mtgdirSING.html

I wish you and your gf a happy outcome.

David

Yu-Kym said...

curious cat, you could not find any evidence to prove your doubts so stop being paranoid and just cherish the time you have with her!

Anonymous said...

Yes, that's what I was thinking I should be doing too and have actually thought so too that I am getting paranoid over nothing!! You may be right after all.

But is it really nothing or that she just havent been caught yet again. She having lied to me so many times about her gambling escapades and having being caught red-handed once after repeated promises of remaining clean and me knowing 1st hand her resourcefulness to get what she wants using her sexual guile....and with her multiple sex partners in her past...if you are in my shoes...I bet that such negative suspicious thoughts are never too far away too.

So it's easier said than done huhh?

curious cat

Anonymous said...

Yes David,

I will try to persuade her again to go through such therapies.

Everyone who has contributed including yourself, Yu-Kym and CBS has offered sound advice.

My solution to the problem is like an ultimatum...you commit the offence again..I will dump you.

It's like I feel nothing short of shock therapy can work with her because she has a very very resourceful personality but not applying it the right way with her addiction problems. I wonder if I am thinking right.

curious cat

David said...

Yu-Kym,

I do not think CC is paranoid.

His GF gambles, has run up debts that required dealing with loan sharks to pay off!

Based on what CC presented, the women appears to have an addictive personality, and her addiction is gambling.

David

CBS said...

CC,

Get her to sigh the Voluntary self exclusion for Casinos.

http://app.cra.gov.sg/public/www/content.aspx?sid=94

It will at least give you peace of mind. She may welcome it.

Sit her down and talk to her heart to heart about her gambling and your fears.

Anonymous said...

CBS,

Just like David's suggestion for her to go through therapy, I have also tried to get her to sign the self exclusion order but both suggestions to no avail. She declined repeatedly but always undertook promises. But she broke them but only found out if caught which is extremely difficult.

With her renewed promises with her added incentive of incredible sex, it will take me to catch her in the act of gambling or with another man, then she will admit her actions again. So far no evidence unless I hire a private eye? If not, the cat and mouse circus goes round again.

That's why I said with this kind of woman full of guile and sexual persuasiveness the shock ultimatum to leave her down and dry may be the best antidote for her. Yet in all other ways, she is still the woman that has make me happy all the past years.

curious cat

CBS said...

CC,

Since she refuses to sign a self-exclusion, it's her way of leaving a side door open for gambling. A half-hearted measure here does not work in the case of addiction.

She is not committed to change.

It takes a small leak to sink a ship. Unless this issue is dealt with and yanked up by the roots, it will come back to haunt you.

I can see that she is definitely street smart enough to cover her tracks.

I'm not sure if shock therapy will work but it must be accompanied for some form of counseling.

As of now, it's definitely risky to marry her. Also, there is that other nightmare of her carrying STD coz you'll never know whether she has other lovers out there. Or if she is prostituting herself.

Having dealt with prostitutes, the one addiction that they eventually develop is the lure of easy money. That comes after they have overcome the emotional barriers of selling themselves to different men.

I was quite taken aback when they got jealous because they heard that other prostitutes are rated better then them. I was like "Huh? This isn't the Academy Award!!!!"

Anonymous said...

As usual wise words from CBS and some sense of humour too lol. Ok thank you all and one last bit of contributions before we close this issue of mine.

Failing to persuade her to go for therapy, counselling or self-exclusion etc, I have chosen the following options either for gambling in a casino or sleeping with another man,

1) I will dump her immediately and now because I no longer trust her and am not willing to wait to be deceived again;

2) I will dump her if there are sufficient reasonable circumstancial evidence because finding direct conclusive evidence can prove to be difficult;

3) catching her red-handed is a no brainer as to my actions.

David, CBS, curioser cat and Yu-Kym, which of the 3 would you advise?

I request that Yu-Kym give her choice last - only after David and CBS have done so as I am not sure if curioser cat is still following this subject.

Thank you all for your wise words.

curious cat

David said...

CC,

I have to agree with CBS. From what you have told us here, you and your lady are in a co-dependcy.

She gives you affection and great sex. To a point you give her some of what she needs.

However her not wanting to go for therapy tells you all you need to know. She does not see herself as an addict. Which proves an often demonstrated axiom, the addict is the last person to admit such.

Most addicts have to hit rock bottom in life. By being rejected by family, friends and lovers since these people, despite their love for the addict, will tolerate be used and taken advantage of for so long.

When she has no where to live, has been beaten up by loan sharks for not paying her debts, then such a women might finally admit she has a problem.

Until that time, your continued support, love and affection only feed her needs, and does nothing to help her face the facts of her addcition.

David

CBS said...

CC,

There is something called a last chance.

I agree with David that her lack of enthusiasm in going for therapy or to sign the self-exclusion form doesn't speak well for her sincerity or commitment to the relationship. I mean, what's so difficult about doing something that will help her understand her gambling habit? What's wrong with locking yourself out of the casino?

If she truly loves you, surely these are small sacrifices. A person unwilling to make sacrifices for another does not truly love the other person. That is a given.

It is a real pain to be married to a gambler. And if she turns to prostitution to support her gambling habit, that's a deadly combo. You'll can be bankrupted financially or physically (if you contract AIDS).

All the 3 gals that I helped went into prostitution coz of debt. I deal with HIV patients. Many of the girls were innocently infected by their spouses and boyfriends.

I've seen good people unwittingly allowing another person to mess up their life. I've been through it myself, in business. Got played out by biz partner.

It stinks. And stings.

Anonymous said...

True many SIngaporean men are not what I desire! Better off without them, let the PRCs have them