Having sex as a teen affects marriage outcome?

7
A study shows that women started having sex in their teenage years are more likely to divorce. The study author commented that the early sexual experience might have led to the development of behaviors or beliefs that promote divorce.

In my opinion, it is not the act of showing that causes people to divorce. Rather, women who have sex when they were teens are more likely to be those who know that they do not have to follow the rules set by society and that they have a personal choice. Such women are more likely to exercise their personal choice in getting married or divorced. (Note: reasons for divorce were not cited.)

I think it's time to start looking at divorce more positively. Divorce is about personal choice. It is not necessary a "failed marriage". It can simply be that the marriage had served its purpose (of say reproduction, migration, asset accumulation, etc). Life is short. Why give up the chance of living life happily for the sake of being seen as a "successful marriage/couple"?

7 comments:

Sean said...

Yeah, I agree divorce is a choice. However, that should not be a goal. Happy marriage should be one of our life goals!

Anonymous said...

Yu-Kym,

Divorce is nothing but a failed marriage. Pure and Simple. One cannot camouflage or sweep this under the carpet any other way. But the main cause of the divorce can be one or both parties. Never any other 3rd party.

Divorce cannot also be looked at positively especially when it results in children being affected. But it can be looked at positively in some aspects if the divorce allows either or both individuals to carry on their lives and find happiness for themselves.

The study you quoted may have a point. Starting sex prematurely or having pre-marital sex smacks of individuals who do not follow mainstream civil behaviour. So these ppl are likely to go the divorce route more than any other to solve their marital problems. It is not totally incomprehensible.

And I consider it more an achievement and pride to attain success as a happily married couple of many many years than to achieve success in a divorce in order to find a better life. The former is likely to continue till death do they part and the latter is likely to fail again unless lessons learnt in the past are not heeded.

But thankfully, I am not the marrying kind nor have the stomach for divorce.

silli cat

~Pink Miu Miu~ said...

Agreed w/you babe divorce is a personal choice (irregardless hw long e marriage) & not necessary a result of failed marriage.


Yes, marriage is an institution. If both parties have tried their best but stil cant reconcile (chinese saying: 劝合不劝离),we shld not force or feel sad, instead rejoice for at least they dun hve to live miserably for e rest of their lives.

Anonymous said...

Pink Miu Miu,

If divorce is not a necessary result of a failed marriage, that what is? You mean divorce will arise from a good marriage?

Obviously if one has a good marriage, why divorce?

You divorce only because your marriage fails. And it's an intelligent personal choice to call it quits rather than prolong the agony for both parties.

That's that. No two ways about it. You marry, you marry for good. You end up in a divorce, you have failed somewhat in making a success out of your marriage.

Apportioning blame is another seperate issue.

silli cat

Anonymous said...

i have my 1st sex when i was 17. But i do not think it will affect my marriage (i m not marriage yet)as long as i found the one who cares about me and loves me. of course, i will look for divorce if the man i found will tend to hurt me. Who wants to live with such a person anyway?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous who had her first sex when she was 17 in my opinion is likely to end up married and has a better than even chance to get divorced.

Sex at a relatively young age shows an independent, headstrong and rebellious streak. Full of loving and not averse to infringing conservative sex values or barriers or taboos like teen sex, multiple sex partners, etc. Therefore divorcing is also not a no no if it has to come to that.

I am not saying this girl will end up exactly what I envisage but the likes of her and her values will have a likelier chance to do so.

I am also not judging whether she is right or wrong. Of course, I wish her well and great happiness.

silli cat

David said...

Yu-Kym,

You are the rebellious one when it comes to sex and marriage.

Societal standards must hit a nerve with you.

Can you explain if there is anything wrong with self-control and personal discipline.

Read this: http://www.threefingersofpolitics.com/2619/2619

Actress Mila Kunis, who most agree is a hot looking women, has some very negative thoughts on Friends with Benefit relationship.

Much, if not all of this discussion naturally leads to ones idea of morality. How does each of us get our ability to determine what is right or wrong, good or evil.

I am attempting to finish a post on moral concepts and where morality itself springs from. So this is all for now.

Please opine, but not in a rancorous manner.

David