Fear is good

When we think of the word "fear", most people would think of it as a negative feeling.

When I was a child, whenever my mother gave me anything she would always say, "Don't lose it." This made me develop a fear of losing things. I'm careful with my cash and belongings. I seldom lose things.

A friend told me that it's a good type of fear to have because he has no fear of losing his belongings like his handphone and so he keeps losing them. Some fear would be good, he added. This got me thinking.

There are many things I don't fear very much (at least compared to other people), such as heights, speed, authority, change, etc. And there are things that I fear more than other people, such as drowning while diving, poverty [read: One reason why I love money], loss of health and physical abilities [read: Health is happiness], loss of physically attractiveness, obsolescence (being outdated and useless), etc. But fear has served me well. I am mindful of safety precautions while diving, I eat well and exercise often, keep learning and try to earn more money.

So, ya, fear is good - provided it's not irrational and paralyse me into inaction.


Anonymous said...


Looks like you are already paralysed into fear or inertia in certain situations.

eg your encounters with other men in past relationships have made you extremely uncompromising. Since your last break-up, how many dates have you prematurely dismissed purely based on your convictions or beliefs of your suspicions? Or have you actually dismissed everyone even before you date them and actually retreated into isolation and rely on your favourite toy for comfort?

I can understand one must be careful when entering into any new relationship with an mostly unknown factor, but I would think you suffer from this fear of being disappointed again more than normal.

Another eg how much of your day to day routines and behaviour and your conduct of affairs around you have been influenced by fengshui? I would again suspect that with your total application of fengshui to your life and home, you have also stymied yourself into inaction mostly on account of your fear of the supernatural or unknown.

True no? lol

silli cat

Yu-Kym said...

You assume that I make assumptions about people without first finding out more.

But in order to want to find out more, there has to be
#1 some sort of interest in the person and,
#2 as written in my previous post about what people look for in relationships (http://yu-kym.blogspot.com/2011/02/what-do-you-look-for-in-relationship.html), sufficient potential improvement from my current emotional, physical and financial state.

Not wanting to compromise on certain criteria is not a result of fear, but a clear understand of what works for me and what doesn't.

Anonymous said...

Ok, its not fear. I am mistaken then. keke

silli cat

David said...


Fear is double edged.

Fear can paralyze some people from trying something new. Fear of water will stop many who would like to dive from even taking a lesson.

What you call fear as a diver might also be called caution.

Caution ensures a diver checks equipment, does not dive alone, and files a dive plan with the dive boat.

Not fearing loss of handphones or similar items shows foolishness.

Such items are costly. Someone not concernec about savings will in time run out of money.

I could be fearful of health problems. That could stop me from so many things I enjoy doing with my wife, family and friends.

I have one life, and as such I will enjoy each day and every ecounter with others.


When we travel life's roads with those we love, the point of
destination is always secondary to the quality of the journey.

-- Mary Prince

Anonymous said...

So Yu-Kym

what about fengshui,

are you driven to believe in fengshui out of fear or what? Or am i mistaken again? keke

silli cat

Yu-Kym said...

David, a balance between avoidance and doing some of it sometimes - like you have - is good. Otherwise we'll end up never doing anything!

silli cat, I see fengshui as "optimisation". People can survive and do well even if they live in houses with bad fengshui, and can do badly though they live in houses with ideal fengshui.

Anonymous said...


I think I can just about understand this optimisation stuff too. Well you best optimise everything you can apply fengshui on ok? So you reap the best of what's on offer. keke

silli cat

David said...


You replied to silli cat, "...I see fengshui as "optimisation". People can survive and do well even if they live in houses with bad fengshui, and can do badly though they live in houses with ideal fengshui.

Which is saying that even with Fengsui optimized, that sometimes it works, and other times it does not.

Not a confidence building POV.


Without the aid of the divine, man cannot walk even an inch.

-- Chinese Proverb