The most romantic love is the type that is unfulfilled

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You might have reasons - some real, some mere excuses - for not being able to be together with the person you "love". Perhaps because your parents object to your relationship, you live in different countries, one or both of you are already married to someone else, or that one must die to save the other.

Strange as it sounds, I think the most romantic love is the type that cannot be fulfilled. This concept is not new. Some time long ago, unfulfilled love between a man and a boy, and unfulfilled love between a married woman (whose husband had gone out to war) and another man were considered to be the most romantic type of love.

Love that is unfulfilled is always sweeter than the one that is fulfilled.

If you don't get to marry or live with someone, most of the time you'll see the presentable side of that person. You'll imagine how nice it is to have someone to sleep next to and wake up next to, to spend time with you, to share meals and movies... ah... how sweet and nice... You can imagine doing so many enjoyable things together... You could be together forever...

However, if you spend almost 24 hours 7 days a week with someone, you'll inevitably get to see the unpleasant side of him/her. After all, nobody can smell and look good, be in high spirits, on best behaviour all the times and show me one person who wakes up in the morning with fresh breath! You find yourself sleeping next to a pig, feeling too tired to do the cleaning and worrying about paying the bills!

The greatest love a person can have is the one which is unfulfilled. Most of the greatness of that love is left to our imagination. What we imagine is beautiful. But that beauty lives only in our imagination. We'd never really know what it would be like if we were to fulfil it. We would not know the disgusting habits of that person nor whether that love can truly withstand all problems and the test of time. Reality will often prove us wrong.

This is why so many people I know of are so willing to share "love" with people who will never want to reciprocate or refuse to "move on" from past relationships. This is the sort of love that is romantic, sweet and lasts forever - because it only exists in their imagination.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sad songs are also the best songs! I wonder why the best scores are reserved for the saddest lyrics!

People who are so willing to share "love" "with people who will never want to reciprocate or refuse to "move on" from past relationships" are fools and idiots.

curious cat

Andre said...

I totally agree with this entry. Always the reality and the thing that we imagine is so different. That's why as we grow older we give up on things that we fantasies such as love.

David said...

Yu-Kym,

What you and most comments are referring to romantic love.

For reasons not apparent unrequited love or unfullfilled love are central to your ideas here.

Unrequited and unfullfilled love are immature love. Love has stages like most everything in life.

We are not born with the skills or knowledge we need in life. Even our biology progresses thru stages of development. Relationships and love also go and grow through stages.

Here is how I have learned to define love; I will define LOVE as used in the Bible:

Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.

It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

I Corinthians 13:4-8

Before anyone gets upset over the Biblical reference, we have to take a step back and ask the question, where does love come from?

How and why was love created?

Now I do not possess the wisdom or knowledge to answer those questions.

Philosophers and other have written volumes, crafed poems and music, movies and love stories all in the attempt to explain love.

What all these achieve however is showing that most couples, notice the word couple as in Married couple!

Many studies have shown that romantic love is needed to draw two people toghether. One must note however that many young and also immature adults fall into lust and mistake physical lust for love.

Real romantic love often blossoms from true friendship.

Marital love can be affectionate, and Philial, and agapic.

Many will tell those seriously learning about love is that love grows through these four stages:

1 Storge - Affection
2 Phileo - Friendship
3 Eros - Romance
4 Agape - Unconditional Love

Read more -
http://allaboutcslewis.com/2010/12/21/the-four-loves-part-2/

Yu-Kym, please opine soon!

David

What seems too difficult for us is a sure sign that it belongs
to God.


-- Marie DePree

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Never love someone unreasonably or irrationally more than he/she loves you. lol

curious cat

Anonymous said...

i like this post =)

Anonymous said...

not to mention, its usually self sustainable

the more it feeds on itself, the more unforgettable it is

David said...

Curious Cat,

Please define loving someone unreasonably or irrationally.

Without defining limits, limits are meaningless.

Thanks!

David

Life's problems wouldn't be called "hurdles" if there wasn't a way to get over them.

~Author Unknown

Anonymous said...

lol David,

How does one quantify love in absolute terms or its limits? Love knows no bounds as evident by the extent that some ppl will go for the sake of love.

But here I am describing love in its relative form. Therefore love someone as much as he/she loves you, no more no less or one or both parties will be hurt.

curious cat

Anonymous said...

Some say if you love someone, you love that person for what he or she is! You see beyond that person's faults! You dont change the person you love, you dont try to improve that person or guide him or her along the correct path! You accept the person you love for what she is.

I say rubbish!

I say if I love someone dearly enough, I would like her to have the same values and attitudes as me. I will attempt to guide and change her for the better at the risk of losing her completely.

The only caveat here is that if I have hopeless values and attitudes, then this relationship will be to the detriment of both. Pity the girl who loves a shitload of poor attitudes and values like me then.

But if i have good strong values and attitudes that has stood me in good stead time and time again, then if I love someone who is a shithead and let her remain a shithead...what will my life with her eventually become?

A life of shit!

curious cat

David said...

Yu-Kym,

Perhaps you next literary masterpiece can be a contemporary study on the topic of Love.

CeC, Love will be a topic of debate and will rule human life for as long as time allows our kind to exist.

David

Success comes in cans, not cant's.

~Author Unknown

Anonymous said...

Absolutely David.

Money and Love! What an awesome combination if one gets it right! lol

curious cat

Guardian Angle said...

I have been with someone , but hse has fly back to her hometown to resolve an marriage issue, the things is . what has been said is so true .. i wish we were together rather than she going back to that cold hubby of hers. and not onli he is nt appreciative of her and now seeing another women 6mth down the road. I have receive numerous calls from her. Looking back now after what you have written. the unfufill love is always up to what we wants to imagine and best of all is thinking all things will change for good if she were to come back over here.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry you are suffering Guardian Angel. But the cold situation are these:

If she truly loves you and her hubby is an arsehole like she claimed, she will leave him for you without hesitation. The fact that she is still flitting from you to him and him to you may click something in your love-blinded brain that something may not be quite right.

Rather than wallow in regret and remorse, why not dare to force an ultimatum to her - To leave her hubby permanently and officially. Come live with you. The matter of her children (if any) should not be an insurmountble issue to resolve if you both truly love each other.

Anything lesser than a permanent and secure union between the both of you is unacceptable less you want to continue in your sorrows. Move on. You will be surprised there's still lots of life (and wonderful women) awaiting you out there.

silli cat

Anonymous said...

Those who dwell too much on unfulfilled or unrequited love are not thinking with their heads but with their hearts. I consider these love situations only excellent for the experience of the moment. Dwelling into it any longer would be insensible, destructive and foolish. In these unnecessarily prolonged agonising situations, the protagonists are the players themselves unwilling or unable to face the facts and which sometimes end in tragedy.

I believe also unfulfilled love exists only so long as one or both parties are unable to find the appropriate replacements. Once they do, the vacuum is now suddenly and amazingly "filled"!

So dont indulge in self pity and sorrow. Go out and live anew and find another mate and you will discover that unfulfilled love is exactly that - "unfulfilling".... to your short existence in this world.

silli cat

David said...

silli cat, I would like to refine your comment.

"Those who dwell too much on unfulfilled or unrequited love are not thinking with their heads."

Such people are not thinking with their hearts.

Thinking with their gonads is much more likely.

Been there and done that!

David

Better to illuminate than merely to shine, to deliver to others contemplated truths than merely to contemplate.

Thomas Aqunias