The widowhood effect

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The wife of the island republic's first prime minister now minister mentor (MM), Lee Kuan Yew, passed away last month. I don't know much about her but I guess it she must have been a very understanding and strong woman, and a pillar of support for him. Many people how the MM will cope without her and whether his health will suffer from the loss of his wife.

A study, based on the 58,000 married couples they followed since 1991, found that people die from the "Widowhood effect", i.e. spouses in mourning die within 3 years of losing their partners. Causes of death ranged from cancer and heart disease to suicide and accidents. 40% of women and 26% of men they surveyed died within three years of losing their partner. 12 of the people in their study died on the same day!

Have you ever imagined or dreamed (I mean while sleeping) that someone you love has passed away? I have. I dreamed about people having terminal illness, suicide and death. It felt real in my dreams and though I was not crying while sleeping, the feeling would be so overwhelming that I would burst out crying when I wake up and feel deeply sad for at least a few days. Sometimes I would imagine how it would feel if someone were dead or how someone else would feel if I were dead.

"We now have robust evidence that the widowhood effect does exist and that people who lose a partner deserve support because it can leave them in a vulnerable situation," says Paul Boyle, the study's lead researcher.

It was not specified in the study whether the living spouses re-married. Many men would tell their wives that they do not want their wives to re-marry because they can't bear the thought of the wives with someone else. Selfish! It's possible that the 74% of men (as opposed to 60% of women) survived beyond 3 years because they found new partners. Maybe they just tend to be happier to have their spouse dead, or maybe they were the ones who drove their wives to the grave! :P

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

I never dream of any beloved passing away, but rather dream of having sex with my GF and have a huge big hard on!

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Anonymous said...

I never dream of any beloved passing away, but always dream that I am having sex from behind with those I dislike!

Anonymous said...

Everything I dream of hated people dying I woke up with a big erection that last for hours.

Anonymous said...

Wow, writing something like this post may win you the Nobel Prize for Peace just like that Chinaman who won it this year. His most famous writing (one can google it) said that China should become a colony of USA and all Chinamen should be servants to the Yanks to learn their "Highly advanced superior intellect and culture".

No wonder he won the Nobel Prize and the garment put him into a mental hospital.

Anonymous said...

it just shows it is very important to lick and kiss the right ass at the right time and give sexual satisfaction from behind and you will be rewarded.

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Anonymous said...

How comes comments are so quiet for this post and so many got deleted! Press Control Monitors at work!

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David said...

Yu-Kym,

A sad post and I agree with most of your statements.

What you did not mention was the demographics of the widowed parties.

Among older married couples 75+ statistics support what you stated.

Younger married couples, 55 years or less I do not believe there is any valid data for a widowed person in this age group.

I can give you anecdotal data that pertains to my spouse and myself.

We have asked and promised the other that since we believe marriage is indeed until death do we part, that in the event of one of us dying before the other, that the survivor will, after mourning, seek out a new partner.

Yu-Kym, and most readers here are much younger than I am and like younger than my wife, who is 10 years young than me.

Under 40-45 there is a larger number of available people, at my age, dating would be a challenge to say the least. That would indeed keep me going just to find someone else.

BTW, no dreams about losing a lifelong partner, no one looks forward to such an event. Yet loving married couples most often care enough about their partner to discuss this difficult topic.

Good post Ms. Loh.

David

Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made
in the small ones.


-- Phillips Brooks

Anonymous said...

It depends lah. If the man never loved her but for her money, then there is simple no effect at all.
He may be happy the old hag is gone!

Anonymous said...

She - from a rich family.
He - father is a depo store man. After that is a travelling watch salesman.
Tells you something?!

Yu-Kym said...

Anon "Everything I dream of hated people dying I woke up with a big erection that last for hours." Are you a necrophiliac?

Anon "writing something like this post may win you the Nobel Prize for Peace", there's nothing in this post that could win me a nobel peace prize. Perhaps what some anonymous people commented might win them one (that's why I deleted them. They can go post their thoughts elsewhere with their name so that they can be recognised. I don't want to take credit for it.)

Anon "she - from a rich family", what does it tell you?

Yu-Kym said...

David, the report said the findings apply to both young and old couples they had been following since 1991. Possibly some couples could be around 40 years old now.

Anonymous said...

"necrophiliac"?, me?

No. me no nacotics!