"I'm right because I'm a man"

Men complain that women claim to be always right in arguments. I have a complaint about men. They don't claim to be right in arguments but impose on women what they think is right - even when women don't ask for, value, or want their opinion or help.


I've just started following a pull up program in which the first exercise involves hanging with arms straight, driving chest upwards using core muscles.

During the first week of the program, I'm supposed to train daily, 3 times a day (but I've only got the time to train once a day). I use some 40lbs/18kg assistance on the assisted pull up machine in the gym because without it, I would get muscle aches which would prevent me from being able to train daily. Friends advised me to train daily but not to the extent of getting severe muscle aches.

(Here's how the machine works:
The weight setting takes your weight off you.
E.g. If you weigh 50kg, setting it at 20kg means you are pulling 30kg of your weight up.
If you weight 80kg, setting it at 45kg means pulling 35kg of weight.
I'm 48kg so using 40lbs/18kg means I'm trying to pull 30kg of weight.)

When I arrived at the gym today, a man had just finished using the assisted pull up machine. Since he looked at me and we might have to share it, I smiled and said Hi. He had set the assistance to 100lbs/45kg so I switched it to 40lbs. I did the exercise I stated above. When I stopped to rest, he said, "It's too heavy for you."
"Ya, I'm training," I said.
Without even asking me whether I wanted to change the weights, he switched it and said, "There. Now you can do it," and walked away.
I didn't thank him because now I'll have to do extra work of switching back the weights and I never asked for his "help" any way. He had switched the weights to 100 lbs/45kg assistance! With 45kg taken off my weight, of course I can do it... it's doing nothing LOL I do need a little more assistance to do a full pull up but not 100 lbs...

If men in the gym want to say something, they can say it. 2 days ago another guy (a muscular one) tried to give me some advice but he didn't argue with me after I explained the training program to him and certainly didn't switch weights for me without asking me. But the guy today crossed the line. Giving advice or asking is acceptable but doing something to my weights without my consent is another matter. I bet he only did this because I'm female. Some men assume that they know more about gyming than women. The worst thing is: this guy does pull ups with 100 lbs assistance and he wants to force me to do what he thinks is appropriate?

Men assume that just because they are men, they have better sense of direction than women.

There has been many occasions where I pointed my group of friends in the right direction to where we plan to go (e.g. a shopping mall or MRT station) but some guy in the group insisted that I was wrong so everybody believed the guy and I had no choice but to follow the group in the wrong direction!

There's this joke:
Moses wandered in the desert for forty years before finding the Promised Land because he didn't want to ask for directions.

If I were a man, I would tell those guys off to their faces. I'm kind enough not to hurt their pride. But if I were a man, they won't even dare do such things!


Anonymous said...


As long as you are not rude, what is wrong being more assertive and speak a little more of what's in your mind towards these men? If you dont start setting the stage right, you are only encouraging more of the same.

curious cat

Anonymous said...

You are so right! How profound!

Sillypore's culture is top-down edict, as those men at the top, they assume they know everything and always right. So you can't argue with them.

The new USA Ambassador to Singapore mentioned this cultural problem, that there is no real democracy in Sillypore. Immediately he was attacked by the gartment controlled press and silenced.

Don't you recognize those people posting comments here who are doing exactly that same job, same profession!

Curious! Isn't it!

Anonymous said...

hahaha Anonymous who ridicules my homeland as "Sillypore",

At last we are able to groom you to talk some sense and remain within a certain degree of decorum in your comments....at least I now see less lunacy in you. Or else I dont think you will see your contributions published at all.

Yes I agree sometimes our Singapore leadership can be so full of arrogance, they think they always have the right solutions.

But you are wrong about Singapore's stand with regard to the US ambassador. The latter does not fully understand Singapore's unique racial, religious and language and political and judicial landscape and he wants to impose his (US) style of democracy upon Singapore.

The ambassador deserves the "clarification" fm our leaders.

Again I ask which incredibly marvellous country do you come from and who is this leader that you have that is so enlightened, that you so favour to lead your fantastic non-silly country?

Note that your persistent refusal to reveal this information renders your proclamations about us in "Sillypore" totally without conviction and superfluous. Not to mention revealing a lot about your integrity and character too.

curious cat

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Yu-Kym said...

As long as it's not a matter of life and death or won't cause great inconvenience to me, I won't try to change anyone's mind by talking more. No matter how assertive I sound or how I say it people will not believe me until I am proven to be right. It's sad but true: men are assumed to be right until proven wrong, while women are assumed to be wrong until proven right.