How talkative should a man be?

I went out with 2 friends - a guy and a gal. My gal friend commented to me in private that the guy talks too much for a man.

Now, we know another guy whom we both think talks too little for a man. We met him separately. My friend said she read a magazine while he was eating his ice cream. I totally understood what she meant because when I went out with him, I found that we soon ran out of things to say. If people have been together for a long time, I can understand if they've run out of things to say or they are happy enjoy quiet time together. But if within 2 months, we had already run out of things to say, won't choosing to be with him mean that I'll have to live the rest of my life in silence?

Which is worse: the guy who talks too much or too little?

Some women are attracted to men who talk alot. Perhaps they think it's a sign of intelligence. (Men who talk alot usually think they are very smart or humourous). I won't want a relationship with a man who constantly talks too much. I was in a relationship with such a man. Sometimes, I get so tired of his talking that I have to ask him to observe 5 minutes of silence.

I won't want a relationship with a man who talks too little either. Some guys would just sit there listen to me talk. They'll never offer comments or share their thoughts and experience. It's like talking to a wall. They claim to be happy to listen to me talk. I believe that is true because they still want to go out with me after I've done all the talking.

Too much is no good, too little is no good. I won't take either. Am I hard to please?


The Bimbo said...

Nope. I agree with you. I think a man (or a woman for that matter) should speak when appropriate. I think a man who talks too much isn't good cos I have plenty to say too.. and a man who talks too little isn't good cos I'll keep thinking if he's holding back. :)

red_kitty_29 said...

5mins of silence? :-) sure its enuf? i dun want a man who talks too much, i pref to do the talking 70% of the time... chuz an older man,it wl "likely" b more about YOU den abt him haha

Anonymous said...

maybe you need someone to listen !

David said...


An interesting piece.

The amount of talk coming from anyone is not as important as what a person is talking about. If a guy is fixated on the latest FHM hottie, whether he speaks endlessly or just a few drooling words, he is shallow and immature.

A guy who knows Yu-Kym appreciates good financial opinions could lose your interest be never wanting to hear about you. Or he might be stingy about talking any thing financial.

What seems to make people interesting when talking is not only the breath and depth of a conversation, the interest in hearing what your partner honestly has to say and weighing that against ones own POV.

The ability to disagree and know that two people will always disagree on some topics, (two people who frequent this site come to mind, along with the lovely owner of this site...)

If one disagrees and then never wants to talk to that person, or a topic, then what level of relationship and personal maturity is present.

Having someone who will listen is important. Sometimes we need somenone to listen to our venting and rants, and not offer a running commentary.

What does Yu-Kym think?


Remember, a small light will do a great deal when it is in a very dark place. Put one little tallow candle in the middle of a large hall, and it will give a good deal of light.

-- Dwight L. Moody