Why women should marry rich and generous men

50
It starts out with romance. Then you talk about building a life together. Neither may be financially well-off but you think with planning and with love you can make a life together. When you get married, you don't plan on what will happen if the marriage does not last a lifetime. (I don't call them "failed marriages" because some things are just not meant to last that long. The "till death do us part" vow was invented when people's average life expectancy was about 30 years.)

A woman may have met a man when he was financially struggling to survive. They may have built a life together and they are financially well-off now. Unfortunately, one or both decide that it is time to end the marriage. This can happen to couples who have lots of money and also to couples who don't. Since this can happen to anyone, why not marry a rich and generous man?

Women can get alimony and share of the joint assets if they divorce (terms and conditions apply). If a woman married a rich man who spent lavishing on her, at least she'll be able to walk away with some money. If the woman married a poor man and contributed to their household income, he would not have spent any money to provide for her during their marriage so it's unlikely that she'll get any money from him. Even if the court orders him to do so, he might not have any money to give her. Besides, she'll have to pay her lawyer and they might even have made a loss on their HDB apartment.

Therefore, a woman should marry a rich man who is willing to spend money to provide for her or she shouldn't get married at all.

Note:
- Don't marry a rich and stingy man. Of course, a poor and stingy man is far worse but I already advised not to marry a poor man.
- I am only addressing the financial aspect of a divorce here. Emotionally, I think both are losers in a divorce.

Related posts:
[Grateful for past relationship: Do you believe it?]
[Can money buy happiness?]

50 comments:

Anonymous said...

Haha...male readers who are not rich and therefore cant be generous lol, don't despair. Yu-Kym is only laying out the facts to women who want the best chance of a better married life. I think its being pragmatic and realistic.

But the reality is that you dont have to be rich and generous to find the right woman for you. The downside falls on the woman....she will never know what it's like to marry a rich and generous man. lol

curious cat

Anonymous said...

hello all,

i've a question here. not very related to this particular post though.

a man will only want the woman he loves to bear his child for him. true or false.

in other words, does he need the mother of his child to be someone he loves?

Anonymous said...

The title should be "Why women should divorce rich and generous men?"

Actually, women marry men they love :) They aren't investing on a future divorce that could pay a lot ;) Am I naive ?

anonymous p

Yu-Kym said...

It's true: "the reality is that you dont have to be rich and generous to find the right woman for you." There are still many poor and stingy men getting married.

"A man will only want the woman he loves to bear his child for him." True or false.
It depends on the individual. Some men don't even care about their children and they won't even want to know if a woman is carrying their child.

I'm not advising anyone to divorce, so that's why that is not the title. I think most people get married and want their marriage to work. Others marry for reasons such as to get a kid then divorce and get money, to get a free maid, to pool money with someone so that they can afford to buy their own house, etc.

David said...

Yu-Kym,

I suppose a truly rich man would also be generous in spirit. That of course will depend on the love and loyalty of his potential bride.

Introduce infidelity from either party then the chances of anything good happening diminish greatly.

One can only imagine a how desperate a women would need to be if she was to marry a stingy poor man!

Beyond imagination, really that would be a good idea for TV drama.

David

Never, never pin your whole faith on any human being: not if he is the best and wisest in the whole world. There are lots of nice things you can do with sand; but do not try building a
house on it.


-- C. S. Lewis

Anonymous said...

This is thinking from a typical bimbo-spg point of view. Instead, why not think get financially stable yourself first and you will not need to spent any of his money whether he is rich or not.

Anonymous said...

Yu-Kym

Where in the world have you heard of a woman marrying "to get a kid then divorce and get money, to get a free maid, to pool money with someone so that they can afford to buy their own house, etc".

That is the craziest thing to come from your blog! Are you overworked? Going nuts?

curious cat

Anonymous said...

Anonymous on "women marry men they love",

The sad truth these days is women marry more for money with some liking or love on the sides for a start! At least here in Singapore they do. keke

Obviously it would be a crazy woman who marries and thinks of divorce at the same time. Divorce only comes into mind when she finds that the man is not quite the right fish for her. Then the wily wife starts to scheme to "milk" everything out of him. And I dont mean his semen! lol

curious cat

Anonymous said...

Anonymous on "woman he loves to bear his child for him",

It is an undeniable fact that men are dogs! So do dogs care if they get their bitches pregnant? Do you think the dogs love the bitches when they do their doggies? lol

curious cat

Anonymous said...

Yu-Kym

Follow up on your remark, I think it makes sense if one is poor, to be stingy dont you think?

And a woman who marries such a man may have actually married more for love than anything else?

curious cat

Anonymous said...

It's often repeated that "if you can love a poor man, why don't you love a rich one instead"?

It does sound rather mercenary but the odds on the wife and children getting a better quality of life with a rich husband/dad is certainly far better.Romantics might beg to differ but how many well-off romantics does one happen to know?

My advice to my daughter is however,pretty straightforward - 'Make your own money so that you don't have to depend on your boyfriend/spouse.And marry someone who is of your intellect and who has goals in life.'

Eugene KL

Anonymous said...

Eugene,

I agree with your views except that "'Make your own money so that you don't have to depend on your boyfriend/spouse" does not apply to rich generous man.

In marrying a man other than a rich and generous one, it would be best if girls follow Eugene's advice.

But if one is lucky enough to have a rich and generous hubby, Eugene's wise advice goes down the drain. Coz whichever way the marriage turns out, your daughter's rosy future is made! For all others, you best have your own income and be somewhat independent from your spouse!

curious cat

Anonymous said...

Hi Yu Kym, how rich is rich exactly? A man could be rich because his family is rich, or he could be rich by his own means. Agree with you wholly that women should marry a man who is not only generous by rich by his own means.

Anonymous said...

If only there are enough wealthy men to go around!!!! If I had a daughter, I would absolutely advise her to find a rich husband, not necessarily a squillionaire, but more than comfortable.

As we all know, financial problems constitute a big source of arguments between couples. Wouldn't it be a lot simpler if there were no financial worries?

auri.

Anonymous said...

Who cares if he is rich from his family, or whether he is self made? What you don't want, is someone from a rich family, but actually has nothing to his name!

auri.

Anonymous said...

can marrying a rich and generous man guarantee that he'll forever be rich?? the future is unknown, who knows one day he may end up bankrupt!!

elle

Anonymous said...

haha Yu-Kym

Somehow your new book should be about sex AND money! What an awesome combination! lol

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

David, there are women who marry poor, stingy men because they think that being married to one is better than not being married at all.

Anon "This is thinking from a typical bimbo-spg point of view. Instead, why not think get financially stable yourself first and you will not need to spent any of his money whether he is rich or not." Such women would only marry a man if he is worthy of them.

curious cat, have you not heard that certain foreigners do that to Singaporean men? There's a difference between being thrifty and being stingy (or maybe it's a matter of perspective).

Eugene, if I took your advice it would be even more difficult to find a partner because there aren't many men around of my intellectual whom I would be sexually attracted to. A partnership that survives merely on romance works out only in the movies.

curious cat "For all others, you best have your own income and be somewhat independent from your spouse!" Agree! Because they can expect to get nothing, therefore, better for the women to have their own income.

anon (about self-made or inherited wealth), it might affect the way the person view and spends money but I can't generalise and say that all men who inherit money don't appreciate its value.

auri, people underestimate the importance of money.

elle, is it better to marry a rich man who could go bankrupt or a poor man who could go bankrupt?

Anonymous said...

Yu-Kym,

I didnt know that foreign women marry singaporean just to divorce them for certain benefits. I must be living in a cocoon.

And you are certainly not generalising when you say that men who inherit wealth dont appreciate their value. It is quite true. They only realise the true value of money, or appreciate the fragility of life, or the sufferings of those less fortunate when something unfortunate too befalls them or their love ones.

It is true therefore that one only appreciates hardship, sorrow, etc when one has come up close to these events.

curious cat

Anonymous said...

Eugene, David,

I told you so. Yu-Kym wants her cake and eat it. If she cant have everything in a man she wants, she wont want any! lol

And Elle,

Heed what Yu-Kym said. It's life! I could have told you the same thing too except that she said it better. lol

curious cat

David said...

CC,

Either you know Yu-Kym better than you indicate here or you are a compulsive gambler and betting that you know her!

Bold or foolishly wrong.
Only you can inform me.

I truly think Yu-Kym is enjoying reading mere males think of her ideas.

Ms. Loh is wise in many ways, and a very, very smart lady.

Be aware CC and other males in SG, be aware she knows men better than men know her.

David


We cannot live with bitterness because it will first manifest itself in our spirit, then in our emotions, and finally in our
bodies.


-- Tom Drout

Anonymous said...

why would a poor man go bankrupt when he has nothing to be bankrupt of?

elle

InSpir3d said...

you have not addressed the possibility of marrying a poor generous man.

a man might not be well off but he might be very generous and willing to sacrifice his wants for the girl that he loves. a girl that does not choose such a man is foolish to reject genuine love and sacrifice.

it is easy to be generous when one is rich. real men are generous even when it hurts them.

Anonymous said...

hahahah Elle,

You dont get the joke do you? Of coz the bankrupt cannot go bankrupt!

What Yu-Kym is saying is that it is better to marry the rich and risk the chance of him not going bankrupt than to begin as a bankrupt when married to a bankrupt.

You get it dear? keke

curious cat

Anonymous said...

David,

Actually I know Yu-Kym better than she knows herself.

Truthfully, I believe Yu-Kym's strong views are mostly a false front, an exterior that she wants to portray - this for whatever her reasons I must admit I do not know. But she is essentially a strong intelligent woman and she means what she says for the most part. But deep inside herself she knows she is not that much of a hardliner that she makes herself out to be in public.

I believe from the bottom of my heart she is a typical woman, albeit far superior to many of her kind but with all of a woman's fragility and gentleness....in other words all the hangups, weaknesses and strengths.

curious cat

Anonymous said...

Inspir3d,

Quite true what u said. But still, I would advise the smart woman to marry a rich generous man than a poor generous man. I woul bet highly, the former is the wiser choice. keke

curious cat

Anonymous said...

thanks curious cat....i seriously do not get yu kym earlier on... :P

elle

Anonymous said...

You are most welcome Elle,

So remember, marry a rich and generous man..and before he changes his mind and doubt the virtues of generousity or before he goes bankrupt, carefully milk him as much as you can. Because a rich man is usually a bad man. His goodness may not last too long. lol

curious cat

~Pink Miu Miu~ said...

Mmm marrying a rich and generous guy may seem the 'easy' way out but then again, how long will it last when u have not been thru tough times together?

i thought it's best to choose someone who love you much much more than you so:-
A) you will ALWAYS be loved,
B) he/she will have the bigger heart to forgive you when u sin.

Anonymous said...

Pink Miu Miu,

How can you tell that:

this "person who loves you much much more than you" will continue to love you the same way always?

And....."he/she will have the bigger heart to forgive you when you sin".... not only now but till the day you die?

If you know the secret to these, pls patent and package it and sell to the world. Yours will be the new "faith" I will certainly follow. lol

curious cat

Anonymous said...

Unless u're drop dead hot and pretty girl, maybe the rich guy would marry u.....just maybe

David said...

Yu-Kym,

Curios cat states; "Actually I know Yu-Kym better than she knows herself."

A most interesting claim.

Can you comment on this?

David

Experience makes us see an enormous difference between piety and goodness.

-- Blaise Pascal

Anonymous said...

David,

If Yu-Kym denies it, I'm very disappointed in her. I had believed she has more courage and confidence than that. I was wrong about her.

If she admits it, I'm even more impressed with her!

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

InSpir3d, we can't survive on love alone. A smart woman knows how to make her own money or marry a rich man. Why should she want to lead a life of poverty or allow a poor man to live off her?

Pink Miu Miu, I agree with curious cat that it's hard to tell whether the person really loves you more than you love him.

curious cat, you can't possibly know me just by reading my blogs or having a few conversations with me.

Anonymous said...

Yu-Kym,

I do not have to engage in direct conversations with you although that would be even better. But one of the most revealing of a person's psyche is his or her regular and consistent musings, writings or blogs.

You will be surprised how much your blogs tell a lot about you. The way u frame and publicise your thoughts, the contents of your replies...I can tell that you are mostly what you made yourself out to be.

There is an off-chance that you may add a little bit of smokescreen to throw your readers off-guard your true self but these are few and far between if at all any. Or that you are not Yu-Kym but actually a man or somebody else expertly fabricating the persona of a fictional Yu-Kym lol...and if this is truly the case...I can't beat the expert in a game he/she controls.

But I think too this is highly improbable because your views have been genuinely consistent, mostly frank and upfront and each of your blog comments can be similarly related and verifiable for its veracity to the other.

You are mostly what your blogs portray. I'm not 100% sure but definitely 95%. The remaining 5% unknown pertains to how good you are in bed! That I intend to find out somehow keke

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

curious cat, I don't even write 50% of who I am here, so how can you know 95% about me.

Anonymous said...

hahaha Ok Yu-Kym, I think I've had enough fun talking about you. I may get too overzealous for my own good. So unless I want to make a fool of myself again, so zippp! lol

curious cat

David said...

Ms. Loh, perhaps you can comment on this!

I do agree with you that Mr. Cat is reaching when he states he knows Ms. Loh so well! Daring to say the least.

To be sure Yu-Kym has posted some well known likes, dis-likes and favorites. Even her rants are informative.

I would bet large sums of money that most of who and what Yu-Kym truly is as a person is never revealed. YK may enjoy readers trying to read between the lines, so to speak.

Need I remind all readers of the first three letters in the word assume.

CC, YK discovers new facets of her personality quite often. CC me thinks is enjoying a fantasy version of YK, and unfortunately is projecting his world into the real world.

Yk, has the option to simply enjoy everyone's speculation.

Me thinks keeping some of herslef a bit mysterious will only add to Yu-Kym's allure!

David

Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.

-- Billy Wilder

Anonymous said...

Hahaha David,

I best zippppp what me thinks about Yu-Kym! lol

curious cat

Anonymous said...

Hi Everyone

Interesting melting pot of ideas here.

Yu-Kym, if your views are to generate publicity in your blog, fine. You have succeeded very well.

But if you are seriously giving voice to your musings, then you should examine the values you have acquired in life.

Choosing a mate for his material well- being and his generousity shows a lamentable set of values; sorry, I do not mean to be unkind. Unless you have been badly treated by a close friend or relative who was especially stingy (in goods and perhaps also love), it is just a fantasy to think (or select) a rich guy is preferable; as a mate, friend, etc.

Liking or loving a person is so much more better if there are no preconditions such as rich, handsome, big boobs, etc.

Why?

The act of sticking together thru life's ups and downs - teaches us to appreciate human qualities of sacrifices, endurance, trust, respect, love, etc. These are far more richer factors than wealth alone. If you have never had (or met or made) a good friend in life, then indeed you have led a very 'poor' life.

Humanity has evolved to our present stage because of of these qualities. Desire for wealth will never be the glue to bind us all together for a better future, or nation building.

Thus the act of sticking together between a man and a woman thru thick and thin; forms the basic foundation of a decent society (or grouping).

My personal experience in living in Singapore and NZ / Australia / Switzerland taught me the importance of these qualities. It is what makes living in their societies so much more desirable than Singapore.

Not that Singapore has a poor standard of living; it's just that a broad (not all) spectrum of our society are pretty selfish, narrow minded, arrogant, petty, envious, and of course totally lacking in generousity.

Meet enough of these types and you might just adopt the call to grab as good as you can get!

NZ & Australians (most ordinary folks in general) have learnt the value of being straight-talking, polite and not judging a person by his wealth. It builds a society based indeed on justice & equality and less stress. Not the bull-shit you get here.

Think about what you are and what you want - before you pick wealth as a consideration, for a MATE for goodness sake!

Yu-Kym, please re-consider your choices.

Regards, Leo

Anonymous said...

Again well said Leo. Yes we do have bullshit in Singapore.

But Leo, you have the advantage of having lived in western or similar societies that have attained a great degree of advancement in its social development. And therefore you can appreciate that materialism and greed etc is just so empty and without substance for a truly meaningful and graceful society.

For the majority of us educated, working and living here in Singapore, we are invariably caught up with a less than perfect social environment that shapes our outlook towards what constitutes a truly good fulfilling life.

Although I have not lived in the countries you mentioned, I have travelled all over the world and can very much appreciate your wise words. I can see for myself a very different society. I see the one you described.

But we in Singapore has just not yet progress to the level of the sophisticated society you so rightly advocate for Singapore. But we will get there, but it takes time. Unfortunately or fortunately, I am here for good and unless I want to be left behind in this rat-race society, I have no choice but to follow to a certain extent.

If you understand our situation, you cannot ask a woman not to marry a rich man when she knows what wealth can do for her in Singapore. She just have to ensure that he is not just wealthy but also not of obnoxious and dishonourable character. She just has to ensure she does not marry a bullshit!

curious cat

Anonymous said...

Leo,

I just re-read this post of yours and cannot resist adding to my previous comment. I do wish to emphasise I agree very much with your views of Singapore's society being less than desirable. Perhaps even "ugly" in some ways.....that's why the term "ugly Singaporeans" was coined and frequently used to refer to those whose shameful behaviour you have so accurately described.

I want to say that I'm sure you do not intend to appear condescending but you came out as such to me! More regrettable if you are a Singaporean born, bred here till you have the good fortune and/or ability to venture to greener pastures and make a better life for yourself.

But believe it or not some of us do realise our shortfalls and do try to practise being less "selfish, narrow minded, arrogant, petty, envious", and of course being more generous and forgiving. Occasionally, I too fall prey to some of them but being very much aware I try to improve a little each time.

I must also congratulate you for having attained self-actualisation. You have so-called arrived and now lived in a 1st rate country. So it is quite understandable therefore to frown upon us here in Singapore because although we are considered a 1st world nation, unfortunately many a time our citizens (even if they are wealthy and presumably "well-educated") are still behaving like we are from a 3rd world status.

Perhaps if you yourself practise what you preach, you may wish to know that in my view you too have failed somewhat - when however good intentions you have in your comments, you exposed a little arrogance, a little lacking in generousity and a little overzealous in your judgement having already "arrived" in your privilege position in genuinely 1st world countries!

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

Leo, it's not about judging a person by his wealth - it's about choosing not to marry the man unless he has the means to support the family. After all, what is the purpose of getting married it the couple does not have any intention to have children and no intention to get financial gains from the marriage (e.g. to buy HDB)? I come from a poor family so I know better than to judge people based on their financial status. Being a friend to someone is different from making a long-term commitment to a life of poverty.

Anonymous said...

Hi Yu-Kym,

It would be indeed ideal to choose a man who have the means to support the family all by himself.

However, in the context of cost of living standards in Singapore, how many such guys are there?

Frankly, you might not like the rich guys, not to mention the in-laws especially when they know your humble background.

And alas, most girls will have to bring home part of the bacon if you intend to own; say a 5Rm HDB flat with decent furnishings, a Toyota Corolla and 1 kid with all its attendent costs.

By asking you to re-examine wealth as a factor, I am advising from experience that wealthy people and/or their relatives may not have kind despositions. You may realized much too late, they have a "poor cousin" attitude towards you. From the day you married their brother/son/cousin!

It can be a belittling experience.

If you choose a guy with no or little money and both of you struggled to make it; on the day you arrived, you would have the satisfaction of knowing that it was achieved on your both effort.

Even if you failed to make the millions, you can pass on the lessons/pitfalls to your kids.
Failure as an outcome, is part of our learning curve in life. Never give up your perseverence because of failure, at least pass on the lesson to the next generation.

I came from a very poor background. My mother worked three jobs just to bring up 10 of us. Selling candies, biscuits & fruits at a school canteen, she collected $150 to $170 a day. In 1960s, that was pretty good money. Maybe it is just our bad luck, but a lot of folks (in & out of the school just did not like it). Thieves regularly tried to rob the stall. The staff complained about the pineapple skins thrown into the rubbish bins. She also operated an illegal fruit stall at Cambridge road. M of Environment folks regularly raided in the day. The protection rackets - in the night. She deliver eggs in the wee hours every morning.

She never gave up.

I was literally born, raised & educated in the space behind her candy stall.

If an uneducated woman could do it during the 1960/70/80, why not anybody?

You have already started writing your book. Very soon, you will very rapidly learned the ropes necessary for producing a commercially viable book.

When you attained recognition and financial rewards for your work, do you think a rich guy would like your fame & independence.

Human beings can be less secured than you think.

Good wishes,

Regards, Leo

Anonymous said...

I don't think Yu Kym is talking about an extremely rich man but a man who has the means to support a family. The latter shows that he has the means to support but maybe he is not extremely rich yet.

Being a woman myself and having seen the suffering that my aunties went through when they married men who did not have the means, myself is convinced that a woman would only suffer hardship lifetime of poverty if she marries a man who doesn't have the means.

Anonymous said...

Leo,

If I marry a wealthy man whose family has less than kind disposition to the less well off (specifically to me coming from a humble family), I'm not too concerned.

I marry this man because he is of good strong character and we both love each other very much and he doesnt belittle my poor background nor is he bothered about it.

I certainly hope that through time, his family will learn how much of a good wife I will make for their son. If not, my parents-in-law are not worth my attention. My husband and children are.

curious cat turned "eunuch", and now "feline" lol

Anonymous said...

Hi all,

My advice to Yu-Kym was specific to a young couple who would like a modest living in Singapore ; eg 5rm HDB flat, 1.6 litre Jap car, 1 kid & perhaps insurance savings policy @$200K.

I choose the above criteria because;
a 5rm flat has 3/4 bdrms. Parents 1rm, kid 1rm, maid 1rm, 1rm for a future kid or study room. Anything less means there is no spare room for solace for the stressed out parents after a hard day's work. In SG, that flat cost $350k/$450K.
Without the privacy of your own car, it is incredibly stressful to make a family outing. The car - $75K/$85K.
Kid - $200 to feed every month + $350 for maid to keep the house clean.
Insurance policy - around $500/month.

Assuming they loan $300K for the flat, that cost $1700/month. If he earns $4500/month, 30% ($1350) of pay from CPF contributions can help to service the loan. If wife is not working, he has to use $350 of his take-home pay of $3,800.

His cash outlay every month = $350 flat loan + $100 car-parking + $500 life insurance + $550 maid & kid upkeep + $1800 car loan, road tax, car insurance & petrol + $200 home utilities + $200 Town Council, newspaper & phone = $3700 fixed cost every month.
$100 leftover. Comfortable?

Great if he comes from rich folks & does not need to support parents or help finance a younger sibling thru college.
Is it possible after marrying a guy from rich family ties; you can choose to ignore the in-laws? In our Asian context?
To the Anon. who observed her aunts married men without the means; this is the precisely the point I'm making.
Blame your bad choice or try and make it on your own?

I cited my mother, who came to Singapore penniless, refused financial support from all of us, worked till she succumbed to pancreatic cancer. My wife didn't have "O" level but runs 3 companies, a brother's wife started her bus company with just 1 bus 30 years ago, now owns property development & transport companies in China, my sis with cancer of the womb runs her finance company. And I've met folks who made seriously large fortunes but drive a humble 10 year old car.
The common thread linking all these folks is the will to succeed & a supportive/activel-involved spouse. Trustworthiness & humble living helps too.
If you ever think - no money, no connections, how to start making a million $$$ ?, you have already placed obstacles in front of your vision/dreams. There are plenty of people/banks with money & connections, they just do not know who to invest/trust it with.
If you think you can afford to ignore rich in-laws because they "look-down" on you, you are indeed naived.
It may be very uncomfortable to discover they "look down" on you because you have not accomplished anything on your own.
People respect you for your material success, Li Ka Shin, Bill Gates;, fear you for your ruthlessness- Chairman Mao, President Marcos, but they adore you if you forsook wealth & still command obedience with your own profound statements or philosophy- Gandi, Confucius.

Most of us would have done well just to achieved the first 2. The third is for folks praised in history texts.

Did anyone noticed the folks in the first 2 are self-made achievers?

I am not very concerned about views I'm condescending. Everyone is entitled to their opinion & egoism, myself included.

I am just concerned a certain young lady who wish to strike in the literature world by herself; should just EMPOWER herself with determination & guts, ignore the nay-sayers & time-wasters and become a writer of influence we Asians can be proud of.

Not entertain ideas of marrying a rich guy.

Go for it, Kid!

Regards, Leo.

Anonymous said...

Leo,

Perhaps you are right about this...."If you think you can afford to ignore rich in-laws because they "look-down" on you, you are indeed naived." I have never encountered this situation so I am not in a position to dismiss it outright!

But if I too "dont suffer fools gladly", cant I not withstand it sufficiently enough not to affect my life or marriage adversely? Still naive? lol

As for Yu-Kym, I say to her go for both: Make your mark in career and target your "wealthy" honourable man! Nothing to lose! It has not been completely "fixed" for you that you cannot achieve both! keke

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

Leo, a rich man is not necessarily one who comes from a rich family. Anyway, we should not stereotype people who come from rich families. Poor in-laws may not necessarily treat me any better. I am an achiever and I would think twice about marrying someone who isn't. I'd rather not get married than marry a guy who doesn't have enough money to support me. I have an obligation to support my parents too. I can't be using my money to support him or his parents. You are very fortunate to have a great wife and family. But just because you achieved what you have in that way, doesn't mean it's the best way for other people as well. Different people, different situation and different luck.

The computation you provided, it's not what I would define as comfortable - way too little savings of $100 a month? $200 to feed your child won't be enough - how about education? $350 for a maid isn't enough either - you have to factor in other costs such as your maid's food. (Why $500 per month for insurance?)

curious cat,

Anonymous said...

Hi Yu-kym, I was reporting from personal observations of people from all walks of life.

Starting from a very low base plate, I watched relatives made it thru sheer hard work. Ditto - friends (and I mean the true ones).

Yes, you get envy from all sides; rich or poor relations. I have met very few people who rejoiced in your acquired wealth.

Being "lucky" is about being in the right place at the right time". If you agree, then let me say that you have to PREPARE yourself so that when the chance arrives, you execute your plan.

Preparations take efforts, sheer hard work and accepting that there will be many chances that slip away!

My computation is indeed way too little. $4,500/month for a single bread winner is going to be tough! Especially if they require those creature comforts I mentioned.

Insurance was mentioned because as a sole bread winner, they certainly need it for the first 20 years of the kid's upbringing.

My point - it($4500) is NOT enough.

But that's what you get around the median spectrum of Singapore.

I am not saying; DO NOT MARRY A RICH AND GENEROUS MAN.

If he is of fine character, good.
If he loves you AND he is rich, that can be good too.
If you also love him, let him know you want to marry him!
If you want the marriage to be successful, be prepared to work towards it!

If you meet your soul-mate, then life; marriage, love, intimacy, wealth (with or without), friends, the world, ...... will be COMPLETE for you both.

Happy Endings Everyone !!!

Regards, Leo

(sorry, I'll be out-stationed for awhile, join you guys when I'm back)