Stand by your woman

33
I've heard many true stories about very lucky men whose wives stood by them when they made their career switch and didn't bring home a single cent for month. The wives had to work and feed him and the children.

I've not heard any stories about men doing that for their wives. Perhaps the story is about how the wife does not want to work so her husband works to bring home the bacon.

I don't think there are many Singaporean men who would be supportive of their wife/girlfriend's work if she's writing about sex and her personal experience with sex. I imagine if I have a Singaporean boyfriend, he might feel insecure if he reads what I write. Though I would never cheat on his for the sake of work (I won't cheat on my principles for money), one day he might ask me to choose between him and my work saying, "Am I not enough for you?"

A man who truly loves me will never ask me to make such a choice. He who asks such a question only truly loves himself.

(Actually, the man whom I choose shouldn't feel insecure at all because he won't be my boyfriend if I didn't think highly of him.)

33 comments:

Savahn said...

Agreed. That's what love is all about in the end.

Anonymous said...

Yu-Kym,

1) Surely if you are my woman, you will not be publicising all the juicy intimate details of your sexual trysts with your past lovers? Surely you will keep your bloggings about sex in circumspect and give me some dignity?

With me, I do not think it's a matter of being insecure because I have confidence in your fidelity but more a matter of my pride!

Having said that, I'm very sure that you are not that kind of a woman.

Coz in the very unlikely event I ever encounter such a woman, I wouldnt even give her the option of a choice. I decide for her. I'm gone.

2) The reason why you have not heard any stories about men toiling and sacrificing for their wives is because it is expected of men to do so as a matter of duty and honour and such noble acts are not news! On the other hand, the opposite is true with women. Expectations are not as high and therefore when such sacrifices are made by women, they become newsworthy.

curious cat

Anonymous said...

Under Singapore's education system for the last few decades where White Men's culture is praised and Eastern Asian culture is put-down, locals are supposed to become "Bananas" i.e. brown/yellow on the outside, white on the inside.

You are encouraged to adopt Western Style marriages where my money is my money, my body is my body and we can screw around as much as we want. That is called "democratic freedom". The husband may not even be the natural father of the son!

To expect the husband to stand by the wife, that must be crazy lah under the Singapore or even White Men's Culture.

But you hear plenty of stories of husbands murdering the wives to get her money or insurance payouts, especially in US which is technically bankrupt, UK which is near bankrupt, and Europe! Just few months ago, a US national murdered his newly wed wife for her money while diving at the Great Barrier Reef in Queensland, Australia.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous,

Pls explain where in Singapore's education system does it teach our young that the Asian culture is to be put down?

curious cat

Anonymous said...

Re - "where in Singapore's education system does it teach our young that the Asian culture is to be put down"

It is actually put down by default, surreptitiously!

Please tell us where in Singapore's education system (i.e. school names) are there any text books (i.e. text book names) on Far East Asian philosophy, literature, value systems, modern Far East Asian history etc ( by Far East it means Chinese ) with tuition given in Chinese language. We understand all teaching in all Pee-Saipore schools are in English with only 1 text book in Chinese as second language if you are ethic Chinese. They use English language to teach students to understand the Chinese Language. Hence the White Man becomes their "adopted daddy"!

On a TV documentary, a Singaporean said "I believe I was more English than the English (or he was taught to have that impression) until I came to UK and they call me Chin-Chong-Chang!"

Such education system was created decades ago to attract MNCs, boasting that Singapore has the best English speaking work force with English (i.e. White) value systems. The garhment never dream that the MNCs all flock to China with the MNCs speaking Mandarin rather than the Chinese work force speaking English!

Just listen to Google China's American CEO speaking Mandarin on TV. He speaks it just like any China Mainlander!

And I have met many Whites who can speak Mandarin better than Kevin Rudd or LKY!

Anonymous said...

Haha Anonymous,

I can tell you are indeed a foreigner from your distorted impression of the education system in Singapore. But I can understand when you are misguided by some "Singaporeans" like "Ching Chong Chee Cheong Fan". Perhaps he was one of the unfortunate casualties of our ever evolving but still far from perfect education system.

But certainly you are not forgiven for being surreptitious! lol Singapore's education system may have certain shortfalls but it certainly does not "put down" Asian values or culture. In fact, it's quite the opposite.

For very good nation building reasons, ours is a "1st language" english medium education system with another compulsory "2nd language" eg Mandarin, Malay, Tamil as our "mother tongue" language for all students spanning at least 10 to 12 yrs, in some cases more.

Obviously desirable but not everyone of us can be highly effective in two languages let alone one. And in a system where English is deliberately the common medium of instruction for all subjects, there is bound to be some difficulties in the inculcation of other aspects like Asian values, what more with the world being so open and Singapore being so accessible in a variety of ways.

Notwithstanding the difficulties, there are quite a number of "elite" or special assistance plan (SAP)schools for the abler students where the emphasis on eg Mandarin is given equal weightage if not more than English. These schools are specifically set up as such....in order to put substantial attention on a eg "Chinese or Confucian based" curriculum with the noble objective to ensure our younger generations do not lose their touch with their Asian roots and culture. Because these students are more academically inclined, they are effectively bilingual with two first languages eg Mandarin and English to cope with the demanding goals of the SAPs.

The subject of Singapore's education system has gone through nearly 5 decades of changes and we are still far from reaching our objectives.

It is certainly underhanded therefore to judge that our Asian culture is being "put down" because our citizens cannot fully undertake the complexities of a comprehensive "Asian culture or values" based education in the context of our English medium education system.

I am far from a perfect product of Singapore's education system after enduring through a good part of about 16yrs of my youth. I am bilingual but not highly effective in both. I am more comfortable with English. But I certainly do not forget important values taught to me through the years - of putting my elders, family, friends and country first in my daily life. What more "Asian values" do you demand of me?

The above is just too short a story. About the MNCs that is another very long story.

curious cat

Anonymous said...

Anonymous,

When I re-read your posts, I still cannot fathom the incredulity of it all! lol

Like..."under Singapore's education system... we are "encouraged" to adopt Western style society, we "praise" white men's culture, we "put down" Eastern Asian culture, locals are "supposed to become" Bananas!

Are you Bananas?

Yes I am proud to say that being an Asian country we have one of the best, if not the best English speaking work force. But to allege that we claim to have this "Engish value systems"? What is that? You mean for Singapore to succeed, we need to sing the praises of and adopt blindly "English or Western value systems"? duh

MNCs not only flock to China, Singapore but all over the world. And to conclude Singapore believes for any of these countries that manage to attract MNCs, they need an English speaking workforce? Are we being shallow and naive or what? Obviously MNCs flock to different countries for various reasons. And as for Singapore, being English speaking is just one of the many reasons.

And to quote examples of Whites speaking perfect China Mainlander Mandarin and some better than LKY....to me what does it show? It just means these Whites are exceptionally intelligent and brilliant in languages. Good for them! Period. By the way, I dont much care for this Rudd fella!

curious cat

David said...

Yu-Kym,

An interesting post that I can identify with.

My wife and I both have to make career changes. We took turns standing by the other ensuring that a successful transition could be made.

Anon stated: "...husbands murdering the wives to get her money or insurance payouts..."

Few if any men who murder a wife ever recvieve a single dollar of insurance money. Most are convicted of murder and end up spending most if not all of their life in prison. All expenses paid, but not luxurious.

Yu-Kym knows that it will be a special man that will stand by her and be a loving and loyal partner.

No doubt there is a man with similar interest who has not met the charming Ms. Loh. When he meets her, the collabaration will result in some very intersting posts, and a guarantee Yu-Kym second book will be a TKO.

David

We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive.

-- C. S. Lewis

Anonymous said...

David,

Yes when this man with "similar interest" finally meets the "charming" Ms. Loh with her superstrong character and personality is now, the "collaboration" will result gradually in a "confrontation" and no prizes for guessing correctly who will TKO who! lol

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

curious cat, I have read posts by men in forums to complain that their wives don't appreciate their toiling and sacrificing for their wives.

Anon, I don't condone "screwing around" outside a marriage or relationship. I only meant a man standing by a woman in her work/career.

Anonymous said...

Yu-Kym

Unless I am in the know of the actual situation between these men and their wives, I really can't get a feel of who is right or wrong.

But my experience tells me that the men may just be giving out lame excuses for whatever selfish or wicked purposes they have in mind.

Exceptions notwithstanding, a normal average woman would have appreciated the the sacrifices of the man but sadly I dont think it applies the other way round as often. The man would probably be screwing around outside his marriage or relationship.

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

curious cat, I agree it is more common for the woman to have appreciated the man's sacrifices than the other way around... sadly...

David said...

Yu-Kym,

It does appear that many of the males who lurk at your site, and those that appear to openly salivate with fantasies about you, there appears a willingness to stand by a women in SG as long the male gets his way with her.

Either that or they cannot wait to marry, screw the new bride and then go off looking for available SYTs.

Does fidelity even between a male and female going together mean anything in Singapore?

In the States many young people, and not so young at times, have been heard to say when getting into a new relationship or marriage, that there is always an easy way out.

This type of person is not common, but most everyone knows someone like this.

Is my assessment way off or am I reading some of these guys in SG correctly, or am I being harsh? ? ? ?

David

Many a professing Christian is a stumbling-block because his worship is divided. On Sunday he worships God; on week days God has little or no place in his thoughts.

-- D.L. Moody

Anonymous said...

David,

Yu-Kym's essentially a sex blog (although I have tried to encourage her to diversify lol). What kind of men do you think will be attracted to sex blogs? Obvious isnt it? So there you are, men who are into sex...some perhaps to the extent where you correctly put...they drool and salivate. lol

Fortunately there are good ole saintly boring men like you who keep some balance and sanity to Yu-Kym's blogs! I must admit, I would also salivate seeing how desirable Yu-Kym can be in the raw! lol Dont slam me down k? After all this is a sex blog and Yu-Kym does flaunt her sexuality.

curious cat

David said...

CC, Ms. Loh's blog is primarily a sex blog? ? ? ?

That is a stretch. Yes she writes about sex related topics. However there is nothing even soft core in Yu-Kym's words. She writes carefully on sexual topics. Nothing about her latest experience or male conquest, although that alone should cause CC to fantasize.

Yu-Kym has demonstrated her ability to be sensual and sexy without being raunchy and all of her photos would never even qualify as soft-core, perhaps artsy, but no where near pornish.

Daivd

Concepts create idols, only wonder graps anything.

-- Gregory of Nyssa

Anonymous said...

hahaha David,

To me soft or hardcore sex, medical or bedroom sex, Sex is Sex! Whether she pose provocatively or less, her sexuality is at the forefront! If she tries to be raunchy, I wouldnt be in this blog. There are many other sites where "raunchiness" is too tame a word.

curious cat

Anonymous said...

Hi

Another interesting melting pot of ideas Yu-Kym has stoked up.

With reference to Anon. who wrote in at 2.10pm & 7.30pm August 16th, I agree that by adopting English as a Language medium both for commerce and education; our society did have many aspects of hero-worship for western norms and values.

Let it not be forgotten that in 1965, Singapore as a nation was thrown out of the Federation of Malaysia. Indonesia was throwing its weight around in the region with its Confrontation war politics.

In case your generation is too young to know what we faced then, Singapore was in a pretty desperate situation.

And I mean DESPERATE!!!

Our neighbours could eat us like a cake!

Who do you think we could turn to?

China? England?

China was just full of bull shit bluster about revolution and equality. England was too broke to enforce its racketeering of its colonies wealth.

If we use Mandarin as THE language, the leaders up North would have extra munitions to politicise the racial aspects of the choice and they certainly did. And you think communist China will send ship loads of aid and workers to help Singapore survive? China has Russia, USA and their own Capitalistic Nationalists to worry about!

Adopting English was a no-brainer choice!

Of course adopting a Language has its share of put-downs. It is not our mother tongue. As Anon. puts it, it silently elevates English as a superior language. That means English culture and material goods also becomes elevated. At that time, nobody has heard about Toyota, only Morris Minor.

Whether this elevation of English has brain washed an entire generation into thinking English is superior - is debatable. Regretably, it may well have.

This blog alone is a testimony.

My fellow Singaporeans. DO NOT DESPAIR.

Let us use ANY language as a medium of communication for the survival of our nation. If English is convenient - so be it!

Let us not think berate each other or be bothered by any views whether Mandarin & Chinese culture; is not better or not adopted/lost/down trodden.

As you read above, the pre-colonial English were just money grabbing bastards. So were the Yanks, Dutch, Japanese........etc.

Singapore as a newly independent country; just happens to have inherited laws, customs and administration and all that comes with running a State. All, in English.

Coming back to Yu-Kym plea; it is just not [yet] an Asian custom for a guy to support a "career switch" by his wife; especially if she intends to write about a subject as intimate and personal as sex!

Regards, Leo

Anonymous said...

Again Leo, well said.

The influence of western norms and values are unavoidable consequence of a nation adopting English as its main language. Singapore has to take the good and the bad and try to manage it as best as we can.

Except that adopting English was NOT a no brainer. If so Malaysia as just one example would have pursued the same direction and not taken a different tack in this and other national, social or economic policies.

And depending on which way the politics of those times fell, a different group of people in power would have adopted Mandarin or Malay as its main language too!

Also true that Singaporeans should not despair over languages or the lack of.

But Singaporean should be concerned that subsequent generations are living happily, peacefully, generally complacent and oblivious to the potholes ahead on the fruits of the labour of their forefathers. These younger generations two or three down the road will be Singapore's own downfall, not languages.

curious cat

David said...

Leo,

One can ask the question why Singaporean's not take to speaking Malay?

English OTOH has become the default language for much of the world's business. Example, all international air traffic controllers must speak English.

While many westerners are now learning Mandarin. Even more Chinese are learning English. Korea has made learning English as second language a national goal.

The Philippines, where there are more than 50+ dialects, uses English a unifying language.

During the first half of the 20th century one could not be doctor or pharmacist without knowing Latin. At one time German was the language of engineering. All this shows is that the dominate language for business at the international level needs a common meeting place. No on is saying English will always dominate, and indeed English while common is not a universal language, save for a special areas.

Singapore has really created itself. The people are what make Singapore unique and of great interest to many outside.

Me for example.

David

It is the highest and holiest of the paradoxes that the man who really knows he cannot pay his debt will be forever paying it.

-- G. K. Chesterton

Yu-Kym said...

David, there are people who still believe in and practise staying loyal in marriages but many people only pay lip service to it and encourage other men to have affairs and tell women that they have to accept it if their husbands have affairs, saying that it affairs are inevitable.

curious cat, there are men and women here who seek answers, "education", entertainment, or simply enjoy reading something that they can relate to.

Anonymous said...

Yu-Kym,

I too seek information, understanding and learning from you and others in this my first and only blog I've ever read or participated. But I think in many encounters I have still lots more to offer to others. I will continue to read and comment only as long as I think I can benefit or contribute.

I'm glad too that I have "met" very intelligent, widely read, mature and wise ppl in your blogs although some may have different opinions from me but I learn from them too! I particularly like strong-minded but balanced, sane, mature and wise contributors. I like the witty cheeky humourous ones too. With some sarcasm thrown in for good measure! lol "Boring" David is certainly not boring! hehe But i really cannot fathom him sometimes in you know what subjects! lol

What irks me are the ones who treat this blog like a gladiator ring! Where an exchange of views is a fight to the death!

Nevertheless, I dont have to read other blogs to know that yours is a great one! I only wish you live up to your tagline more! I am who I say I am and I expect you to be who you say you are! But if its only "showtime"..then it's perfectly understandable and fine! keke

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

I have written things, especially about money, religion, small penises that have offended some people. You're not offended because those criticisms don't apply to you!

Anonymous said...

Yu-Kym,

It's true I dont get offended nor am I easily offended. But it's not because I am immune to offence with these or other topics.

I give you the following examples that may illustrate what I mean:

Someone may say "Why are you not a scholar?" or "Why do you not possess a doctorate?" or "Why are you not earning big big bucks?"

Another may say "Why are you not the CEO or MD of your company?" or "Why are you not driving a Maserati" or "living in a Sentosa Cove or Queen Astrid bungalow?"

Someone else may say "Your penis is not that large" or "I've had a boyfriend who is even better hung!" or "I've had better lovers and better sex".

If these were actually said, I'm not offended at all. Why? Because I'm contented with what I have achieved and possess. My life is as happy as anyone can reasonably hope for..from my career to my possessions to my family and friends and my sex life too (with a penis length and girth that is more than adequate to do what it's supposed to do)!" lol

You may say that the above examples are not the same as "Why did you not go to university; or why are you only a clerical staff earning a thousand dollars each mth; or how come you are living in a 4 roomer; or why are you driving a 2nd hand toyota; or why is your penis so small? etc etc.

But it is the same because everything is relative! Chinese saying goes that there is always a mountain higher than the other. So it is possible for some (if not many) to get offended even with the examples I gave.

So my message is I dont get offended not because the criticisms dont apply to me but because I have "confidence" as a result of "contentment" in life!

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

I get what you mean. Some people online criticise me for being too fat!

David said...

Yu-Kym,

Who would ever say you are fat!

That person's must have a major vision problem, or perhaps no sense of proportion.

Then I would be surprised if you paid attention to such a flippant remark.

You stated - ...accept it if their husbands have affairs, saying that it affairs are inevitable.

If women in any large percent of all married in SG see affairs as inevitable then those people likely should never have married. While I do not like divorce such marriages are better off dissolved.

Cheating & infidelity has been recorded since any records of history have been made. Now, with social networking, cell phones every where news of unfaithful partners spread quickly. Keep in mind rumours can be spread quickly also.

Humankind is not now, nor will our kind ever be perfect. Infidelity and cheating will go on.

My choice is to love the women I married as long as I am on this pale blue dot!

David

It is not as a child that I believe and confess Jesus Christ. My hosanna is born of a furnace of doubt.

-- Fyodor Dostoevsky

Anonymous said...

lol Yu-Kym....and surely you are not the least bothered nor offended!

But I still prefer you a little "meatier" than just a little flesh, skin and bones! Nicer to the touch! keke

curious cat

David said...

CEC,

Very bold comment regarding Ms. Loh's appearance.

A charity appeal might now be your last best hope for getting a date with YK.

Have you never heard of the dangers of the so called "does this make (insert body part here..) look fat question?

Telling YK you prefer a little more meat on her!

Time for you to take a short walk off a long pier...

David

All worry is atheism, because it is want of trust of God.

-- Bishop Fulton Sheen

Anonymous said...

hahaha David, very funny!

Anyway, right now my life's getting busier - trying to balance spending sufficient time with my family and friends including a great relationship (yes, great sex to match, which sustains me! lol ) with my love-one, earning a living, travelling and grappling with getting enough sleep due to the late night live feeds of football leagues (especially the Primera Liga) now just starting their season and with the F1 approaching an exciting end. I'm rooting for Real Madrid's Mourinho and Hamilton respectively.

My life's a beach isn't it? lol

Nevertheless, I will continue to read Yu-Kym's blogs and all contributions as often as I can but unlikely to have time to participate in the interesting discussions especially with the tempting topics on politics initiated by Leo. I wonder what got into normally sane Leo? He is going nuts these days with his diatribes about the US! Notwithstanding the mistakes made by this greatest of nations, we owe a lot more to the great but benign USA!

cheers to all! ciao!

curious cat

David said...

CEC,

Enjoy your hiatus. I trust your gf will not become a Soccer or F1 widow during the season. Does she share any interest with you outside of adult intimate behaviour?

Soccer is not of any interest to me, and neither is F1 racing. Work is steady with a new fiscal year starting at the end of October.

Fall brings the annual colour change on the trees here and my wife and I like to take a long weekend someplace to relax and view the splendour of nature's colour show.

Have fun!


David

Have to leave with this....

God's gift to us is who we are and our gift to God is who we
become.


-- Author Unknown

Anonymous said...

Part of the fun is doing things with your love-one right David? You got your relationship spot on!

So definitely, we share some interests but not all. She is likely to be with me unless it's her working day the next coz of the late nite live feeds. It's not just about sex although sex is very impt. keke

You are a good man David. You are interesting in your many ways, definitely not boring. lol May God bless you and your family!

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

David, little blue dot? The US isn't that little. Singapore's a little red dot but the actual size is smaller than the red dot.
Like you, I prefer to visit a natural formation rather than watch soccer/F1 though I wish I can be a racecar driver.

curious cat, your life sounds like a beach!

David said...

Yu-Kym,

I used the wrong term, my apologies.

Pale blue dot, is the term I meant to use.

Pale blue dot is the term astronauts and astronomers use to describe what Earth looks like when viewed from orbit and spacecraft.

Visit:
http://astroblogger.blogspot.com/2006/09/thats-our-pale-blue-dot.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p86BPM1GV8M

http://web.ipac.caltech.edu/staff/jarrett/sagan/pale_blue_dot.html

The pale blue dot, is home, for you, for me, and everyone we have ever known, and for all who have ever lived.

David

You are valuable because you exist. Not because of what you do or what you have done, but simply because you are.

-- Max Lucado

Yu-Kym said...

I see... I love our pale blue dot!