Sexual mid-life crisis

18
Nobody likes to get dumped. If your partner dumps you for a better model, that's bad. If your partner dumps you and turns gay, is that the ultimate insult? Or is dumping you to become celibate a bigger insult?

On one hand it may seem like an insult, but on the other hand the breakup might have been nothing personal - your partner was simply exploring his/her sexuality and decided to literally make a 180 degree turn. I wonder what prompted the change.

In the TV series Gossip Girl, Blair's father divorced her mother, turned gay and has a gay partner. It must feel weird have a gay father! Do you call his partner your step-father?

Some people might have tried turning a gay straight, e.g. in my post [Anal sex]. Perhaps due to the perseverance such people, some lesbians and gays turned straight mid-life, got married and now have children; possibly due to the perseverance of other people, some straight ones turned gay. I don't understand this so please share with me what you know.

18 comments:

David said...

Yu-Kym,

Interesting topic. Everything you describe sounds like script for a novel or show as you mention.

Reality is this; no more than 2-3% of the population worldwide is gay. Being long past midlife crisis age I cannot speak of an desire to explore my sexuality beyond hetero-sexual. Maybe I truly am boring and unimaginative!

With a wife much younger than me already I had no reason to look for someone younger.

What prompted the change you describe in your post is called the script writer looking for something to make that weeks show more topical or interesting.

Much of the entertainment industry is glamorizing the gay/lesbian life style.

Doing such in an attempt to show that really all being gay is really a choice.

And a choice it is. After more than 40 years if genetic research, no GAY gene has been found. Living gay is a life style choice, as no one is wired to be gay.

That last statement should get you some good responses.

I believe that the VAST majority of people go through life most happily heterosexual. There is no evidence to suggest going gay is more satisfying.

There is strong evidence that most gays are unhappy, searching and not finding great satisfaction in life or life partners. Gay marriage is allowed in many States here. The divorce rate among gay marriage is much higher than heterosexual marriages.

What does Yu-Kym think now?

David


Be thankful for the least gift, so shalt thou be ready to receive greater.

-- Thomas à Kempis

Anonymous said...

I squirm when I see same sex marriage especially man to man! Will we have some day pet owners marrying their pets? Or even marrying their pets to other pets? If we are sick enough to have anal sex, these other possibilities cannot be written off! Bloody hell, the world is gradually going bonkers!

curious cat

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Yu-Kym said...

David, the gay lifestyle is already one that does not conform to social norms so it's expected that gays view marriage differently. Anyway, just because couples remain married doesn't mean that their relationship is great. Many Singaporean couples choose not to divorce because they would have no place to live after the divorce or they're trying to keep up the act for the sake of their children.

curious cat, I have read some stuff about people marrying their pets...

Anonymous said...

Huhhh? Ppl already "cohabit" with their pets like having their pets sleep on the same bed with them, kissing them on the mouth (Yukkks!)....now you mean a proper wedding ceremony, guests and all? lol Are they for real? I wonder what they do on their wedding night! lol

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

Is it more sick for a human being to marry an animal or for an 80-year-old man to marry a 10 year old girl?

Anonymous said...

Yu-Kym,

In my opinion:

1) unless there are extraneous circumstances, the human marrying an animal is sicker! lol

2) in a primitive society, if it's their way of life for an old man to marry such a young girl. So what's they to say?

3) in a modern society, it's the madness of their cult, custom or belief or religion. So ppl who follow such a madness are also sick!

4) But what if the old man marries an 18yr old girl who has reached adulthood, with the blessings of everybody including the girl's own volition and "love" for him? I say lucky fella! lol I will send him viagra as a wedding present. If the old man is filthy rich, I will be queueing up next in line to marry the girl.

curious cat

Anonymous said...

Hold on! I think I may be misunderstood.

I didnt mean that the man who marries a pet is sicker than a man who marries a 10yr old. Both are equally seriously sick. Unless there are extraneous circumstances for the old man to do so like in a primitive society and custom.

For a moment i thought i would be mistaken as someone who thinks a man marrying a 10yr old is not that much of a sicko! lol

My reputation goes down the drain. phew!

curious cat

Anonymous said...

I know the gay community may be hard to understand in Singapore where the acceptance of this is so low. Whether you are sexually attracted to men/women if you are a man/woman yourself does not make you a different person – whether its love, commitment, beliefs etc. The reason some may turn gay/straight at an older age is probably due to the fact that you happen to fall in love with a person and not the sex of that person. Simple as that!

David: There may not be a gay ‘gene’ but neither is there a favorite colour gene, or one for food preferences. You may be a person that hates the taste of fish even though this isn’t determined by your genetics. This does not make it a life choice, however. Yes, you may have to eat fish all your life as society will tell you to, but you probably won’t enjoy it. You would probably live happier in a society that where it’s ok to eat what you want – without anyone thinking you’re any different.

Curious Cat: How dare you compare gay relationships to animal sex?? The world is slowly going ‘un-bonkers’ by being more accepting. Perhaps you should follow…?

Sarah.

Yu-Kym said...

Sarah, that's a possible explanation. I agree with you that gays/lesbians are the same as all the rest. I have some friends/ex-colleagues who are gay/lesbian but I am not close enough to ask to ask them these questions for fear that they might feel offended.

Anonymous said...

Sarah,

Don't get all worked up ok? You must be a lesbian or indulge in same sex relationships. lol

I'm not saying that same sex marriage is the same as or comparable to animal sex! I'm only saying that when you have a man marrying a man...and this to me is already sick, will someday the man or woman marry his or her pet too.....and the world becoming even more sicko? And from what I have just heard, there are such occurrences already.

My view of same sex unions can be a bit of a double standards as follows:

1) when a man unites with a man, I say its disgustingly sick. Why? Because a man has got nowhere to penetrate except the arsehole. And that to me is sicko!

2) when a woman unites with a woman, I say it can be a beautiful union. Why? Because there are dildos to take the place of penises and if these women reject anal sex, then I think it's not as sickening and it's quite fine.

So perhaps my double standards stems too from my view that the male sexual organ is a disgusting piece of work but the female physical form and genitalia is a magnificent creation of beauty. So I'm already more accepting but skewed in favour of the female to female sexuality.

curious cat

David said...

Sarah,

Comparing a genetic link to gay vs heterosexual with liking or not liking fish does not make sense.

The gay lifestyle is entered by a personal decision. Colour preference and food preferences while not the same are either personal choice or the need to survive, as is the case with eating.

There is nothing normal about gay relationships aside from pure hedonism.

Even the bio-chemical connection Yu-Kym writes about in other posts would break down in gay choices.

David

Pride is tasteless, colorless and sizeless. Yet it is the hardest thing to swallow.

-- August B. Black

Anonymous said...

curious cat

No, I am not a lesbian but it’s funny how you would assume that…

Your reasoning is very strange – I can only guess (and HOPE) this is due to un-education in the particular field. Perhaps Singapore doesn’t teach gay relationships in sex-ed classes?

So, if you don’t know – I will tell you; Men-on-men couples does not ONLY involve in anal sex. This is one part, but there are many forms sexual acts (as with all relationships). And if your concerns are about anal sex, you do realize that many heterosexual partners involve themselves in this act too? Does that make them equally sick? As for women-on-women – you don’t seem to have too much of an issue (strange that).

You are, of course, entitled to you own opinion. I simply feel sad for you for believing that gay relationships (including whatever they decide to do in their bedroom) is causing a ‘sick and messed up’ world. Personally, I think more acceptance and understanding causes the opposite.

Yu Kym; I have been very lucky with great and close friends in the gay community. The same way you express your sexual experiences in your blog – and presumably with your girlfriends – I have been participating in similar discussions with my friends (whether gay, straight, bi…or whatever label you want to use), involving love, sex, relationships and all matter involving life.

Sarah

Anonymous said...

lol Sarah,

I'm glad I didnt rile you up so much this time. I was just kidding about you being a lesbian. Even if you are, so what?

Well, I'm not anti gay or same sex relationship or anything like that...I'm sure they are just as "humanly friendly and "normal" in other ways if not more so" than the rest of us "normal" ppl. I just find it disgusting if they indulge in anal sex...including the heterosexuals.

But I certainly wouldnt be surprise if all "male" gays indulge in anal sex. hehe

Anyway, thanks for the "un-education"...a little more on this doesnt hurt. lol

curious cat

Anonymous said...

David; some would say that love and sex is also part if our 'survival kit'. Whether being gay is part of our genetic output or not, it's certainly not a 'decision' whereby you choose who you are attracted to. This is not the case for heterosexuals either, so why would you think so of homosexuals? Being gay is nothing new and can be traced back as far as we can in history. Do you even know any gay people to base your 'theories' on?


Sarah

Cu

Anonymous said...

Curious cat; I'm glad I was able to educate :)

Sarah

David said...

Sarah,

Read: http://noapologies.ca/?p=8765
Excerpt:
The more overwhelming cause of homosexuality, as he points out, involves severe issues with parents and sexual abuse at a young age.

Also:
http://www.narth.com/docs/istheregene.html
Excerpt from above link:
Homosexual Twin Studies

Two American activists recently published studies showing that if one of a pair of identical twins is homosexual, the other member of the pair will be, too, in just under 50% of the cases. On this basis, they claim that "homosexuality is genetic."

But two other genetic researchers--one heads one of the largest genetics departments in the country, the other is at Harvard--comment:

While the authors interpreted their findings as evidence for a genetic basis for homosexuality, we think that the data in fact provide strong evidence for the influence of the environment.

{2}The author of the lead article on genes and behavior in a special issue of Science speaks of the renewed scientific recognition of the importance of environment. He notes the growing understanding that;

"Gay gene" researcher Dean Hamer was asked by Scientific American if homosexuality was rooted solely in biology. He replied:

"Absolutely not. From twin studies, we already know that half or more of the variability in sexual orientation is not inherited. Our studies try to pinpoint the genetic factors...not negate the psychosocial factors."

... the interaction of genes and environment is much more complicated than the simple "violence genes" and intelligence genes" touted in the popular press.The same data that show the effects of genes, also point to the enormous influence of nongenetic factors.


There appears to be more evidence supporting environmental influences, think of family nurturing, or the lack of such.

David


To have God in our life, doesn't mean saling on a boat with no storms, it means having a boat that no storm can sink!


-- Author Unknown

Anonymous said...

I have never said that homosexuality is within our genetics or inherited – but I’m saying it is not a choice! It’s not something you decide to do or can control (which was the point you made previously). It’s a preference, which I’m sure you can live your life ignoring (very sad in my opinion) – but will you be happy? Not all preferences are genetically inherited, but are nevertheless not something you choose!

Again, do you actually know anyone homosexual or just basing your theories on ‘academics’ (the first link you sent is actually directed to a blog with religious authors – striving against PC rules) and not real experiences? I have many gay friends, none of which have been abused as a child. Of course I cannot know this for sure, but by having met many of their parents myself I would very much doubt this theory is true. I’d also doubt that a higher % of gay people have been abused than straight.

I understand if you all feel better if you find a ‘reason’ for this (and perhaps even a ‘cure’??)… But, again, homosexuality is not something new, and it won’t go away, so why not just accept it?

Sarah