I'm not a feminist

Some people assume that just because I think women have the right to make their own choices without advice from men and I'm happy without a man, I must be a feminist.

A feminist is is woman who supports the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men, and supports an organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women.

I'm not one.

Sure, I must have been sidelined or have my opinions dismissed before because I'm female but all of us at some point have been discriminated against because of our gender, appearance, social status, family background, nationality, ethnic background, etc. Most of the time, the thought that I might be discriminated against does not even cross my mind. When it does, I think to myself: when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. A smart person is one who is able to use that prejudice to his advantage.

I am where I am today because I'm female. Life might have been harder for me if I were male. If I were male, I doubt I would have dated anyone because I simply didn't have the money to date. And because I didn't date anyone, I wouldn't have anything to write on my blog. Even if I have something to write here, not as many people would be interested what a man has to say about sex compared to what a woman has to say.

I am fortunate to be born in Singapore in this era where women receive education, have comparable salaries / employment opportunities as men (men get higher salaries than women for the same job because National Service is considered "relevant work experience"), and have the right to be prostitutes if they want to (prostitution is not illegal if the prostitutes are registered). Actually, I can't think of any women's rights to fight for in Singapore at the moment - not that it's "prefect" here but what's perfect to one person may be imperfect for another; you can never please everyone.

I think there are more men who would support pro-male movements (such as abolishing the Women's Charter and compulsory national service for men) than women who would support feminist movements (women don't even bother to support the crimination of marital rape let alone bother about feminist movements).

I am neither for nor against feminist movements or pro-male movements. No matter what I say, people will still practice gender discrimination and double standards. I'd rather go make some lemonade than talk all day about the lemons.


Anonymous said...

Well said!!!

Anonymous said...

Yu-Kym isn't a feminist in the purest sense of the word. But in view of her clearly superior intellect to many men, her personal experiences with men, her disdain for inept men, she invariably comes across as a female chauvinist and feminist!

Of course she may exhibit the same attitude towards women too but because she blogs mostly about men, she comes across therefore as such extremes. A bit unfairly so I must add, if you do not understand her sufficiently well.

I dare say if she had been born a man, she would be an even stronger personality because already as a woman, she puts a lot of lesser men to shame. And there are lots around. keke

And although she may deny this, she would have been even more successful than if she were a woman. Perhaps not in writing a book about sex but in her penchant from property assets, bank stocks and gold bars accumulation. lol

"If you have a good mind, as a woman the world will open its doors for you. But if you are a man, the doors are already open".

author - not unknown

curious cat

David said...


Indeed you are not a feminist in the same vain that many American women cast themselves.

You have made yourself. Uniquely feminine without having to be a man hater.

You have uncanny ability to point out male weaknesses and undeserved male superiority stereotypes.

All the while you are a women. With all the best traits of a modern women in use.

You are wise in pushing against those who would label well known for only your attitude toward sex. BTW many American feminist detest sex with men or consider consensual sex a form of rape.

Yu-Kym is a sexy nerd, and appreciates technology. Along with tech news she dices and slices some some aspects of social issues most often as issues affect Singapore.

Yu-Kym celebrates her gender and her sexuality! Most of the time avoiding being trashy. Ms. Loh knows how to be sensual, at times right on the border of tasteful and over the top.

Like many I look forward to your book and am hopeful that you will be successful in SG in eventually the world!


I don't see the big picture. I don't have a clue. But I know God does. I'm going to declare that, even if I don't feel it right now.

-- Steven Curtis Chapman

Anonymous said...

Yu-Kym's many strengths as a superior woman is too good for her own good. She will invariably suffer from relationships simply because these same positive qualities will come back to haunt her. She has to become more human as a woman, less of a superwoman!

curious cat

David said...


Yu-Kym is all to human. She has high aspirations! If you have ever known a high achiever. Then you would know that Yu-Kym demands more from herself than most people ever demand of them self.

Relating to someone like Ms. Loh requires extra effort. Many who lurk and read her posts, will judge Yu-Kym harshly and unfairly.

Yu-Kym already has acknowledged this in a variety of earlier posts.

Many are quick to judge. Few, if any who visit this site know Yu-Kym.

Superwoman! Quite the accolade. Whether she will ever attain that lofty status only Yu-Kym can answer.

In time Ms. Loh will be successful.

The unanswered question is in what endeavor will she succeed?


If knowing answers to life's questions is absolutely necessary to you, then forget the journey. You will never make it, for this is a journey of unknowables,-- of unanswered questions, enigmas, incomprehensibles, and most of all, things unfair.

-- Madame Jeanne Guyon

Anonymous said...

Exactly David,

In what will she finally succeed? I'm sure it will not in a lasting blissful relationship unless she tones down her hardline views.

It is precisely because she is a high achiever and she demands a lot more upon herself than necessary that will cause her the most heartache in finding the right man.

Some who claimed to know her, like me for instance... may not know her 100%, but know her enough to come to these conclusions about her. But sincerely, she deserves the best life has to offer, including a faithful, successful and exciting man. She wants it all. keke

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

curious cat, "If you have a good mind, as a woman the world will open its doors for you. But if you are a man, the doors are already open". It's sad but true. Women have to work extra hard to be recognised.
"I'm sure it will not in a lasting blissful relationship unless she tones down her hardline views." You are a fortune teller now? :P

David, thanks for everything :)

Anonymous said...

hahahah Yu-Kym

I am not a fortune teller. These ppl are quacks! If they are accurate in their predictions they wont be fortune tellers in the first place! lol

But I am very experienced in love and relationships. And I am quite a good judge of people.

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

curious cat, certain things you said about me are wrong. Your experience clouds your ability to believe that there's another possibility other than the ones that you have seen or experienced before. What works for you and 10,000 other people may not work for me. I find your "predictions" about my future offensive.

Anonymous said...


I sincerely apologise. I have indeed misjudged and wrong about you.

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

Ok, apology accepted :)