Asking doesn't cost a thing?

I was waiting for my order-in food to be delivered to me just now so I logged in to MSN. A guy whom I regard as a little brother (he's 10 years younger than me) sent me this message.

he: hi. i wan go hotel tgt wif u. u there?
me: wat made u say such a thing
he: cos i wana do it with an attractive jie lik u
me: wat u think i m....
he: a lady?
me: u think i will go to hotel wif anyone
he: u lik guys licking u? u dun hv needs?
me: u r mad. dun call me jie anymore

Asking is free. You don't have to pay to ask and it never did hurt anyone, did it?

When I was about 21 years old, someone whom I regard as my mentor taught me that there's no harm in asking. His advice served me well because I got alot of what I wanted by asking. If I never asked, I might have never gotten them. For example,
- if you want a cheaper price for something at a night market, nobody's going to hand it to you on a silver platter - you'll have to ask.
- if you want an increment or promotion - you'll have to ask. What employees get by default is not an increment but salary adjustment. Sometimes employees won't even get any!

If a survey is done asking Singaporean men whether they had ever asked for sex before and for an increment, I'm pretty sure the results would be something like this:

Asked for sex before: 90%
Asked for an increment before: 10%

It puzzles me why guys who have skin thick enough to ask for sex but wouldn't ask for an increment. Or is it because they don't have money that's why they have to try to get free sex? Why not spend their time and effort earning more money then they won't have to ask for sex? If they have the money, women and sex will come looking for them.

Since guys think there's no harm in asking for sex, there's no harm in women asking men for money, right?

Related posts:
[Are indecent proposals to women flattering?]
[A fool and his money are soon parted]


David said...


This younger man probably felt there was nothing lose by asking if you were amialbe to a tyrst. Perhaps he had success with other women simply by asking.

Now you are aware how this male values you and any relationship.

Apparently he does not you, and while you have made clear you enjoy sex. You are selective, and do not just go with the first attractive man who ask for your attention.

Why he did not try for an increment from some simple shared affection only he can answer.

You were wise to say no.


It's a good thing to have all the props pulled out from under us
occasionally. It gives us some sense of what is rock under our feet, and what is sand.

-- Madeleine L'Engle

Anonymous said...


I believe in, business or even spiritual (haha David would attest to this divine part) etc, almost always if you dont ask, you surely dont get. Many a time you do ask, but you still dont get. lol But sometimes you ask, you will get!

As for sex, there are different ways of "asking"! hehe Some crude like the "litte brother", some more cunning, alarmist or threatening, some very subtle, classy and very agreeable to the extent that the "asking" is practically non-existent unless you analyse the moves closely! lol

The same applies to money!

So finally what is the basic commandment here? If you dont ask, you surely dont get! heh

curious cat

Anonymous said...

Curious! Has he got a problem with his dick that he has to emphasize his tongue instead?

Advise him to use his hands, DIY self-help as you are not interested!

Yu-Kym said...

David, perhaps we are taught to be modest here... to let someone else recognise our talent and ability. Or maybe no balls to ask. LOL

curious cat, right about the basic commandment here! "If you dont ask, you surely dont get!" Might get a tight slap from me if he asked me in person.

Anon, I thought my 1st response to him was obviously a rejection but he didn't retreat.

Savahn said...

Just for the sake of discussion, and this is going to sound really dumb; was it the way he asked? Or that he asked at all?

andrewcha said...

Yea totally agree. Ask doesn't cost a thing. If you ask the chances of getting it is 50/50. Either a YES or NO.

Anonymous said...


Just notice the figures. hehe This little brother is 10yrs younger than you, so if you are 25 he's 15! Cant be right!

So if you are 28, he's 18...hmmmm just about adulthood... but an 18 yr old utters those crude stuff to you? hmmmm...maybe...but still not quite right.

What if you are 30 and he's 20...hmmmm...perhaps.....especially after National Service he will be brash and sexually charged! Like I was at that age! keke

So you are 30 then? lol

Consider this a private post to you! My request not to post it! lol

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

Savahn, it was that he asked at all and he was rather insistent though my responses didn't seem positive.

andrewcha, it's a bit of a question too. I think asking does cost something.

Yu-Kym said...

curious cat, I have receive such messages from under-aged boys too...

Anonymous said...

Gosh Yu-Kym, today is a bad day for me blogging. So embarassing. I feel so under-age. lol

curious cat

Savahn said...

In regards to asking for something, I do not see a problem. If you want something, ask for it. But always be polite about it or bring something to the table.

As for whether asking costs anything, in your case, it did. The guy lost a friend.

Yu-Kym said...

Savahn, exactly! It seems to me that people nowadays are not afraid to lose friends.

Anonymous said...


Not quite!

It doesnt always work when you are polite. Sometimes (and maybe more often) one needs to bring a big stick to the table as well! Some ppl just dont appreciate it when you ask nicely. Somehow they prefer doing things the hard way! I still cant understand these ppl. lol

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

Some people are only motivated by fear.

Anonymous said...

No Yu-Kym,

They simply do not have sufficient "upstairs" lol

curious cat