I'll let him play with his thingy

Do you have friends who are constantly on their handphones and mobile devices, sending SMS and instant messages while they're with you?

I used to. They don't remain my friends for long.

With mobile devices like the iPhone, it is possible to be connected to the Internet and instant messaging all the time. Some of my friends are on MSN 24x7. When I chat them up on MSN, sometimes they are out with their friends.

When someone tells me he/she is out with friends, I would assume that the person means he does not want to be disturbed so I will say, "Ok, then I won't disturb you." But some would reply that it is ok because they can multi-task. They must be seriously bored being with their friends to be on MSN!

You might think I am jumping to conclusions but here's why I think my conclusion is reasonable: If someone was having sex, he certainly won't be SMS-ing or MSN-ing.
Even the busiest man who does big business would turn off the phone (unless he intends to try talking business while having sex).

I did mentioned once to an ex-friend that I found it unacceptable that he was constantly on SMS while we're out together (we were just friends, with no emotional or sexual relationship). He was unhappy that I pointed it out. He retorted that there is nothing wrong because he does it to all his friends. He added that if I were his girlfriend or sex partner, only then would he find his actions inappropriate!

There are also guy who would pick up their phones without excusing themselves while I'm in mid-sentence. With that sort of urgency, they'd better be doing some BIG business. Otherwise, I don't see why they can't take 2 seconds to excuse themselves.
But still, big business or not (unless it's a matter of life and death) is no excuse to be rude.

I get the impression that if a guy is constantly on his handphone or mobile device while with me, he's either busy arranging to meet a woman to get laid right after I leave or he must be feeling bored to be out with me. But that's ok because I'm bored too. How interesting can a person who's constantly playing with his thingy be? If he would rather play with his thingy, it's better that I don't keep him from it.

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Anonymous said...

yea... that what I will do if I am bored with the company.

Clear Blue Skies said...

He who does not give you undivided attention while with you on a date does not treasure your company.

Applies to SHE as well.

Anonymous said...

I think one has to remember that the younger generation are now multi-tasking in almost everything more than even its preceding generation (and very much expertly if i may say so). And this trend is going to stay and we might as well adapt and accept.

The crux of the matter is whether they carry this habit or skill to an extent where multi-tasking in eg texting, etc comes into conflict with politeness and etiquette! Or do they multi task with a sense of balance and appropriateness to the company or the situation.

So their upbringing, education, principles and personal values determine if they have this good sense of decorum or they succumb to the herd mentality of the masses regardless of the times

curious cat

Anonymous said...

It's so inapprehensible if one is bored with another's company and still sticks around!

I wonder why who is the sillier or more bored? The one who sticks around or the other one who is always texting oblivious to everyone around him!

curious cat

David said...


I am in complete agreement with here!

I think it is extremely rude to text, sms or spend time on a cell phone when out with another. What is the purpose of being with someone if one or both are texting friends?

Etiquette, or netiquette appears to have disappeared. That and loss of common sense, which after being around for awhile I have discovered that 'common sense', is actually uncommon.

You are so right dumping any male who ignores you and spends time texting.


We never become truly spiritual by sitting down and wishing to become so. You must undertake something so great that you cannot accomplish it unaided.

-- Phillips Brooks

Yu-Kym said...

Clear Blue Skies, I agree. Many people take other people for granted.

curious cat, you are right to question who the sillier or bored one is! Like you mentioned, the sense of balance and appropriateness to the company or the situation is important. For one-to-one meetings, it's inappropriate to be texting often. I don't reply to my SMS because it would mean that my friend will need to sit there and watch me text. I'll be wasting his/her time.

Anonymous said...


curious cat

Rock Hard said...

Which is worse?

Texting on the mobile phone while on a date?


Texting on the mobile phone while driving?

I have seen with my own eyes what some people think they are capable of when comes to multi tasking.

It's one thing to multi task when comes to work. But when comes to social etiquette, many younger generation and tech geek really lack EQ.

I was having dinner with my family the other day when I observed a dating couple who have just finish their dinner and both of them just were so engrossed with their mobile phone's games or instant messaging that they only stop to look at each other when their eyes are tired from staring at the tiny screen on their phones. And then they continue with whatever they are doing.

I remarked to my wife about it, and she said she seen that with her colleagues all the time.

No wonder so many couples are complaining they do not understand or know each other well even when they have been together for an extended periods of time.

Cos they were actually dating their gadgets instead of their human dates.

Yu-Kym said...

Dating their gadgets! Haha! After that, the woman can go have sex with her handphone (http://yu-kym.blogspot.com/2010/03/when-its-game-over-for-sex-toy-shops.html)