Are you homely or "outgoing"?

Many people associate staying at home with boredom and lack of friends. Some people hate being attached and spending time together at home. "What's the use of being attached?" they say. A friend told me that his wife doesn't want to go out with him because her idea of a perfect weekend one spent at home.

Whenever I say that I need to stay at home alone to write, such people would advise me to go out and meet my friends or sympathise with my "plight". I know they mean well but what applies to them does not apply to everyone else.

I think of myself as "homely" - I prefer staying at home rather than going to crowded places. I'm the happiest when I'm a hermit. I'm never bored when I'm alone. I have my own space, my comfy bed, armchair, computer, music, cold drinks, I don't have to put up with loud or smelly people, I never have to queue for the toilet or put up with dirty toilet seats.

Therefore, I don't think anyone should feel sorry for me for staying at home. Perhaps I should feel sorry for those who are unable to feel happy in their own homes?

Related posts:
[What you want is not what we want]
[Kym + Hermit = Kermit]
[Solitude and loneliness, anti-social and introverted]


Anonymous said...

Its better to be homely :)

When we go to work, we will miss being at home but when we are at home, work should be the last thing we'd ever miss, lol~

David said...


You are writer. Many creative types often do their best work when reclusive.

What type of personality is the creative soul? The types are all over the gamut of human types. Some are painfully shy, others gregarious at times to point of
outrageous behavior.

From what little you reveal to the world you appear to be genuinely balanced. All the time, of course not. But you are lively, charming, witty and when you want sensual and sexy.

IOW, you are a complete women!

Sometimes like the friend you mention, my wife and end spend most of our time at home. Other weekends we are out with family or traveling for fun.

I will be doing my best to ensure our 4 and 7 year old niece and nephew have fun this Saturday when we watch them for an evening.

Enjoy your quiet and creative time. You need not justify this time with anyone.

You could never be described as homely! !


Our faith and our friendships are not shattered by one big act, but by many small neglects.

-- J. Gustav White

Anonymous said...

hahaha dont know whether this blog is aiming at me for encouraging you to go out but I agree very much with doing what one is comfy with..including staying home...a relaxing safe haven to just chill out and do your own thing.

But how do you then try to break out from a period when you feel you are unable to acquire the inspiration to continue writing even after deliberately sheltering yourself from public eye? Even after doing your regular workouts, etc to destress? Do you just mope and continue status quo?

One way is to change tack. Get out of home, meet a close friend. There are other ways of course but the idea is to do something different in order to get back on track whatever you are trying to achieve. Not that staying at home is a No-No for some who prefers it. But there are times to stay home, and there are times to go out even just for a short excursion.

curious cat

Ailish said...

I like to be homely, I really enjoy my own company (as vain as that sounds) and I like to relax and just chill out. Don't get me wrong, I love going out with my friends and all.. But I really don't mind staying in.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous and Yu-Kym,

There are many less fortunate ppl who are uncomfortable with crowds or in public places where they need to interact through conversation etc. It could be their shy or awkward personality, their appearance, confidence level, mental state or whatever. Home is their sanctuary and I empathise with them for their reluctant seclusion.

To the rest of us without the hindrances above, the option of staying at home is perfectly fine and is our choice. But if we choose all the time to stay at home and be a recluse without a sensible reason, then we best examine if we have a psychological problem lying latent within.

In either group where one avoids any form of interaction, a timebomb awaits either doing harm to oneself or to society at large.

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

I sure save alot of money by being homely!

curious cat, there are others too who encourage me to go out instead of stay at home whereas there are people like David who understand that "creative types often do their best work when reclusive". It might be hard for you to understand that I truly enjoy staying home and not going out has no negative effects on me, just like it's hard for me to understand why people like you must go out.

Ailish, I enjoy my own company too :D

Anonymous said...

No, I too enjoy staying at home. I enjoy going out too but in fact I like it better at home. But i try not to go to the extreme at both ends.

Ok your sentiments accepted.

curious cat

Anonymous said...

Sorry, Yu-Kym i dont mean accepted, who am i to accept or not your preferences. wrong use of term.

But your sentiments understood. lol

thats a lot more appropriate right?

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

I didn't think too much about the use of words here. I understood what you meant to say :)