Want to get molested? Go to a countdown party!

9
A girl got molested by 4 men at a countdown party at Sentosa, Singapore.



(view video)

The fact that nobody bothered to help her but instead took pictures and videos is bad enough. What's worse is that there's a debate as to whether she got what she deserved.

What's wrong with wearing a bikini to the beach? Why do people condone molestation?
I don't understand why in first-world country Singapore, people would even think that molestation is acceptable if a woman dresses in a certain way at a certain place! No wonder here people think that a husband raping his wife is acceptable too.

The women who think she deserved to get molested are most likely jealous that she has a bikini-worthy body and dares to wear a bikini to dance in public. Men who think this way are those who would happily join in to grope her if they knew that they wouldn't get caught.

I too wear a bikini to the pool or the beach. Does that mean I'm inviting men to molest me? Are women who suntan naked at the beach asking to be molested? Surely not! So why do different standards apply to the girl who attended the party that was held at the beach on Sentosa?

I feel sorry for the girl. True, she should have known better than to go to bikini parties but we do not know the whole story. Some people guessed that she could have been a hired dancer. She could have been targeted because she was alone and someone "kindly" offered her a spiked drink. Regardless of what her story was, there is no reason why we should condone the actions of the 4 men. I hope they get caught and given many strokes of the infamous Singapore rotan! (Yes!!)

She could have had it worse - she could have been dragged off to some place, gang raped, gotten pregnant and left with HIV. Sorry, I can't sugar-coat it. There are many horrible things that people do to one another.


Why go to such parties anyway?

It's not "news" to hear about girls getting molested during countdown parties. It happens EVERY year. Why would girls still want to go to countdown parties? Perhaps people like to deceive themselves into thinking that unfortunate things only happen to other people.

Sentosa is also famous of its foam parties which are not allowed anymore. At foam parties, people go there dressed in beach wear: girls wear bikinis of course. Foam is sprayed. When the foam descends on everyone and everyone can't see who's beside them, the girls get groped.

In first-world country Singapore where people are well-educated, girls still want to go to parties where organisers exploit them. Wearing a bikini is similar to wearing bra and panties out of the house. Would girls go to parties where they are supposed to show up in bra and panties? The obvious answer is No. So why is it ok for girls to go to a bikini party and worse still have to pay to get in? Some bikinis are even more revealing then bra and panties!

If they want to show their bodies, I would suggest posting pictures or videos on the Internet instead of paying the organiser to give a live show at such parties. Best of all, posting your pictures or videos on the Internet is free.


Protect yourself
I'm not saying girls should not go to any parties at all. Many would still go out of curiousity or in search of good clean fun, if there's ever such a thing to be found at clubs. If you have a sister, friend or daughter I suggest you advise and educate her on the do's and dont's instead of simply objecting to partying.

#1 Do not accept drinks from strangers
The drink could be spiked. You will not be able to smell or see the drugs. Even if the drink is bottled, the bartender may open the cap for you so make sure you see him open it fresh and nobody gets a chance to slip anything into the bottle before it gets to you. There had been cases where the bartender is in on it too. If there is any risk at all, you are better off not drinking anything at all.

#2 Go with friends but don't depend on them to save you
Your friends are not responsible for your life or safety. Some of your friends may not even be as good as you think they might be, or some of them may be the ones getting drunk and molested. One gal friend passed me Long Island Tea to drink saying that it's just Tea after I told her that I didn't want to drink alcohol.

#3 Don't drink alcohol at a party if you can't or haven't tried it before
If you have never consumed alcohol before, do not attempt to do it at a wild party. You are better off buying a can of beer and trying it at home alone first. Everyone reacts differently to alcohol: you may puke, get allergic reactions like rashes, run around happily like a mad person and not have any awareness of yourself (even if you get groped you may not be aware of it), cry uncontrollably, curse and swear, knocked out on the ground with your legs wide open, or have any recollection as to WTH you did the entire night, etc. I used to go clubbing when I was younger. Less than an hour after the party starts I would see girls in the ladies sitting on the toilet floor. Is that their idea of a party?

#4 Choosing a party location
As I mentioned earlier, every year there are reports of women getting molested at countdown parties. Many other cases do not get reported. Molesters work well in crowded places because most of the time you can't prove that they are the ones who touched you and it would be difficult to get the attention of the police or security to help you.
Don't be fooled into thinking that places where educated people hang out are safer. Regardless of their education level, people would still do things which they know are wrong if they think they can get away with it. A senior from my university grabbed my breasts when I was dancing with him and I wasn't even wearing anything revealing. [Read about it here: Are dancers easier and sexier than non-dancers?] Not everyone follows the "can look but don't touch" rule.

#5 How to react when molested
- Leave, or
- Confront.
These don't apply you are drugged or drunk already.

Some molesters will strike with no warning.
Others will "test the water" by invading your personal boundary bit by bit. They get a thrill from the irritated reactions from women who are too embarrassed or afraid to confront them or draw attention to themselves.

I've had unfortunate experiences with both. The first type, I'd mentioned in #4. I was free to leave so I did.

I encountered the second type when I was 13 / 14 years old while I was taking a bus to school in the morning. The bus was crowded as usual. I held on to a railing. The guy beside me started his hand closer to mine. I moved my hand away but he kept moving his hand closer. Then he put his hand on my hand. I turned to face him and said, "Can you please remove your hand?" He promptly removed his hand and acted blur. He didn't give me any more trouble for the rest of the journey. I could have squeezed to another section of the bus though it was crowded but I intended to bring his actions to the attention of the other commuters by shouting those words to him. Unfortunately, my voice was muffled by the sound of the bus engine and the traffic.

Related post:
[Nice girls don't cry wolf]
[Are dancers sexier and easier than non-dancers?]

9 comments:

David said...

Yu-Kym,

The girl molested is not at fault. She may have uesed poor judgement by not staying with friends, or she may have been with males she really did not know well enough to trust.

The video should be used to identify the men and they should be charged.

Dressing in a bikini or short skirt does not give any male the right to touch or molest a female. The males in the video are now criminals and should be treated as such.

No excuse such as they touched the girl just for fun. These males are not to be trusted around any women.

David

jiaying said...

if she is actually "HE" will it be still consider "molested" ????

Demon_Inc said...

hi, the girl in question is firstly not a girl, it is a tranny and secondly, she isnt even wearing a bikini, close up pics show she is actually wearing a bra and panties. cant remember the blog addys but two blogs showed close up of the tranny.

I believe a normal girl will not allow herself to get caught up in such a situation and if she did, she would scream for help. Im sure there were bouncers around. The tranny seemed to be enjoying the attention.

What really irks me is that even though the clips shows indians molesting the tranny and i believe these are india indians, Singaporean men seem to be taking the brunt of the blame.

Mavik said...

Yup, its a Tranny. But "she" still does not deserve to get molested this way.

Close up pix taken from 1 of the blogs:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_sDuokveeW3o/S0Xyr9ZGDiI/AAAAAAAAIZE/VNirBTitDl8/s1600-h/victim.jpg

Anonymous said...

Man! Still man's fault even "She" turn to be a "He" and enjoy the molest.

Sometimes I really pity the Men.

demon_Inc said...

An average girl would have most probably screamed and hit the guy grabbing her boobies from the back. He/She was actually enjoying it till too many hands started gropping. That was when he/she paniced. Furthermore, it was not even a bikini, it actually looks like lingerie.

The point i am trying to put across is,
1) Netizens and females are blasting singaporean guys when they do not know all the facts. The initiator was an india indian (from the looks of it)

2) Nobody male or female deserves to be molested but in this case, he/she was enjoying the attention till it got too much. In other words, she allowed herself to get into a compromising situation.

3) Too much hype and too little information are misleading the readers to views that are incorrect.
a) Not a girl, a tranny
b) Not Singaporean men who initiated
c) If you allow yourself to get into a compromising situation and not get out when it looks bad, you cannot fault people for getting carried away.

Anonymous said...

now since its very clear what the 4 man had done. just go find them or they should surrender. hopefully, they are not cowards.

Yu-Kym said...

It seems from a number of other pictures that the "girl" was enjoying it.

Demon_Inc, it's so typical for people to make all kinds of accusations without knowing the fact.

Anonymous, from the other pictures, I think the men knew that the she is a he.

Anonymous said...

When a girl is out for some fun and flirting with her hot body and skimpy outfit, it is perfectly ok.....provided she is able to control the situation and not let it escalate out of her hands.

But sometimes, control is beyond her and other variables come into play which may lead to an ugly situation.. always for her and sometimes for the perpetrators who get themselves into trouble with the law.

So for something that begins innocently and gravitates towards a traumatic or violent incident, who is at fault? I say both.

She asks for it if she cant manage the situation and He asks for it when he cant control his hormones. Both deserve what's due to them.

curious cat