"You will be ok."

I've noticed that when I or others voice out concerns and problems, people often say,
"You'll be ok."
"Stay positive. Don't be so negative."
"Don't think too much."
"I know you'll be alright."
"Trust in God and He will take care of you."

(There's a difference between being concerned about an issue for good reasons and being paranoid. For this discussion, I'm assuming that there are good reasons for their concerns.)

It's amazing how people can say these without knowing the facts:
- they don't know or don't care to know what the problem is, be it health, financial, social, etc, and
- they only believe that God exists but don't know that for sure. (I'm referring to those who tell others to trust in God).
How comforting it is if everything is really going to be ok and someone almighty is taking care of us and has great plans for us! No wonder so many people choose to believe in God.

And what's "ok" anyway?

Many of us live like we're never going to die, or like the people around us are never going to die. Even when a friend or family member has cancer, we like to think that they're going to recover. Will they be ok? Yes, they will be ok - they will recover or if they don't, they will go to heaven or some place nice when they die. What do you say to a friend who has lost a loved one? That the deceased person is now in a better place? That your friend will be "ok"?

Of course, some people are more than happy to have a family member die and insurance money paid to them or a husband/wife whom they don't love anymore may be better off dead. However, there are people who have no place to live after having to sell the house because relatives demanded their share of the property, and teenagers/children who have to stop their studies to find jobs to support the family. Well, some people might think - they are alive so that's good enough. But is being alive really better than being dead? Some people would rather die than have to face the future.

"Ok" is subjective. Everyone has a different idea of what's "ok" to them. I don't wish anybody any ill but as far as I know, if we do nothing (physically or psychologically) about the situation, more often than not, we are not going to be "ok". We might be "ok" by changing the way we think or physically doing something about it but we most certainly are not going to be "ok" just because somebody says so.


Anonymous said...

Best article so far Yu Kym! Insightful!


Anonymous said...

so wad do u suggest to giving some concerns words? best is to shut up? lol

David said...


Just saying "You'll be ok", is a pale attempt at being symphathetic. Without knowinw what or why a person is in distress the comment is shallow.

Trusting in God is a good start. However the person stating such must go beyond the mere phrase as ask how the individual can find the resources, means or path that God places in life for us to find.

A good friend will be supportive, symphathetic. That same friend will often just be there to listen, or at least to be with a friend that simply needs a caring person in thier presence, whether to be there while they sob, vent, opine or simply to be a shoulder to lean on.

Very insightful article!


You are valuable because you exist. Not because of what you do or what you have done, but simply because you are.

-- Max Lucado

Yu-Kym said...

I agree that best is to shut up and, as David suggested, just be a good listener or lend a shoulder to cry on the person has nothing helpful to say.

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Yu-Kym said...

curious cat, thanks for your suggestion :)

Anon, I'm afraid I can't chat with you but you can send me emails and I'll respond :)