No boyfriend? WHY?

I always get asked the question, "Do you have a boyfriend?"
When I answer No, their knee jerk reaction would be to respond, "Why??"

What do they mean by Why?! No boyfriend means no boyfriend!

Perhaps they don't know what else to say. But if they've got nothing to say, wouldn't it be better to say nothing?

So if they are really looking for answers, here are some:
1. I can't find anyone suitable.
2. Nobody wants me. Haha
3. I prefer not to have one because I want to concentrate on my work.
4. I'm lesbian. Haha

What do I believe are the real reasons?

1. Bad karma. No luck.
I need to contribute more to the circle of life. That's all I can do about it.

2. I'm misunderstood, judged by my appearance and people's very narrow knowledge of me. It's not uncommon for people to come to their own conclusions about me from the way I look, speak, write, or do things.
Common misconceptions about me:
- I look petite and gentle so it's unlikely that I am good at sports. (I am petite! People usually look bigger in pictures.)
- I dislike karaoke therefore I can't sing.
- I don't look intelligent and I don't look like I know how to do my job.
- I am fussy and have high expectations. I look like the sort of gal who would go for handsome and rich guys but that's not true. [see, My dream guy]
- Most people think I have a strong character, won't cry easily and won't let anyone bully me. True that I don't cry even if I'm being verbally abused or insulted at work, but what most people won't know is I cry so easily when I watch sad movies that I feel embarrassed. As for being bullied, I get bullied by people whom I love(d) but I don't hesitate to fight off the other people who bully or try to me, or the people I care about.

3. I'm too high up the inverted desirability pyramid, and moving higher.
[see, desirability pyramid for men and women]
Some guys have told me that they don't have enough self-confidence to chase me, they can't keep up with me and someone told me that he guy friend looked at my blog and said I'm out of his league. But I can't stop moving higher for fear having fewer guys who would consider me as a potential partner. I have yet to achieve my full potential. I think I owe it to nature to use my talent to contribute to the circle life for the benefit of all living things.

Hopefully there is a guy out there who would love (not merely accept) everything that I am and everything that I can be and not hold me back, and who can look into my heart not just at how I appear to be.


skodengboy said...

Thinking about it, my reaction would be as such IF the girl was smooking hot. LOL.

Anonymous said...

Hi Yu-Kym,

most Singapore guys would be quite out-of-sorts in the company of a girl who is well-read & comes with very independent and strong opinions - like you.
I think it is because we are brought up to lead in a relationship and it is kind of difficult to take the cue from a girl who is far more experienced with life's events.
Once, I befriended a Canadian girl while we were backpacking in Australia.
We were getting along fine until she pop the question; do you want to sleep with me?
The direct question caught me by surprise and I lied that I did not. She saw through it of course!
After that, she would not let me help her whenever we encountered any physically challenging trails in our hiking trips. She said she could climb the rocks on her own! On the day of our parting; (she wanted to explore Australia further and I had to return to Singapore), I admitted to her that I lied about not wanting to sleep with her. She replied she like a guy to be truthful because it is a universal fact that all guys wanted to get into a lady's pants if the oppurtunity arises. She then informed me there were many nights when she wanted to cuddle in my bunk (we were sharing a room in abackpacker's hostel) but since I said I wasn't interested, it simply wasnt ladylike for her to behave otherwise!
All those wasted chances!


Angeline said...

Gosh, it is so funny!!! No matter how a girl looks like (unless she's extremely ugly) the "WHY" question will still being asked. What is wrong with "no bf" anyway? Believe it or not I have acquaintances who guessed & assumed I am lesbian merely because I didn't have a boyfriend for 2 years! WTH!!!

Yu-Kym said...

Leo, it's hard to say what could have happened if you really slept with her!

Angeline, I think I'm turning lesbian because I've not had a boyfriend for a long time!

Darren said...

Oh my....gulp. A hot lesbian?

Now i wonder why i dont have a girlfriend. It maybe one of the reasons u said......but...not gay. I aint bending down for no man. Only for girls. =P

Yu-Kym said...

Good to hear you're not planning on turning gay :)