Desirability pyramid for men and women

5
Most men and women have some basic criteria when choosing partners. I will discuss my observations (in Singapore) on 4 basic desirability criteria, each criteria being 1 side of a pyramid, and the area under any point of the pyramid being the number of prospective partners.


Men - the upright pyramid
The higher up a man goes on the pyramid, the more prospective partners he has.

1. Height
It's normal for women to prefer men who are taller than them.
So the taller a man is, the more women he would have considering him as a suitable partner.

2. Age
Women usually associate age with maturity, sensibility and experience. Studies have shown that men "mature" (whatever that means) slower than women. Except for the occasional cougar, most women prefer men who are older. As a man gets older, a greater number of women would be willing to consider him as a serious partner. There really is no age limit.
[Older woman, younger man - part 1]

3. Education / social status / money
Education, social status and money are sometimes related but not always. A person can be highly educated but also be a bankrupt, or have lots of money but not highly educated. Most women would want their partner to be of equal or higher social status and possess equal or higher paper qualifications. Naturally, well-educated men with good social status and earn or possess material wealth would be attractive to women. To increase the potential pool of women to choose from, all they need to do is to move up the pyramid.
[Are people who go for looks and money superficial?]

4. Sexual experience
Male virgins beyond a certain age are hardly valued. Women would prefer men who know what they are doing in bed. I'm not saying men should reveal how many partners they've had before to impress women! But if he's good at sex, he's more likely to be able to attract women because of his self-confidence and also able to maintain or increase the women's interest after sleeping with them.
[More partners = better at sex?]


Women - the inverted pyramid
It's the other way round for women. The higher up a woman goes, the fewer prospective partners she has.

1. Height
Except if the woman is a model, men prefer women who are shorter or not significantly taller so taller women have fewer choices of men.

2. Age
Conventionally men go for women who are the same age or younger. It's not uncommon for men to divorce their wives of 7 years (who are of the same age) and marry someone 20 years younger. Biologically, younger women have higher chances of pregnancy and giving birth to healthy children. A man who wants to have children would instinctively choose a younger woman over an older one.

3. Education / social status / money
Traditionally, the man is the head of the family and brings home the bacon. Even if the wife earns more, she's supposed to allow him to wear the pants in public. However, if the difference in education, social status or financial status is large, even if it's not out in public, it may be too much of an ego-thrashing for the man to endure. Therefore, the higher a woman goes, the fewer men would consider her as a prospective partner.

4. Sexual experience
Men are supposed to be sexually wild like animals and women virginal. A man could feel a sense of insecurity in his own ability if the woman his more sexually experienced, an inability to trust her to be with him exclusively, or the thought of her sleeping with other guys in the past simply disturbs him.
[Virginity: prized or despised?]


It seems like it's tougher for women to find suitable partners as they progress. I feel that as I grow older, wiser, more mature, I accumulate more money and get more sexual experience, my pool - or should I say puddle - of potential partners shrinks. Of course I'll never have to reveal the amount of money I have or the number of partners I've had if I don't want to (the truth might surprise you but these are 2 things which I will never reveal on my blog!). I don't deny that part of the problem could be that my expectations of men would increase as I progress but that's only because I'm trying to preempt possible insecurity or ego issues that the man may have. However, I do go out with guys who are (seemingly) below me in the 4 criteria described here. There are other things [see My dream guy] which are more important to me than these.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

You're absolutely right, the point was the coffee. I missed the obvious.

David said...

Yu-Kym,

Always an interesting topic that never goes away.

You have touched all the same questions Vogue, Cosmopolitan and countless other womens magazinse get endless mileage from running.

I am 10 yrs older than my wife so I never had interest in an even younger model. A women who goes after a man 20 or more years older want more than mere maturity.

Interesting that I do know at several very happy marriages where the wife is several inches taller than her spouse. Both women agree that men taller than they are, >67 inches, tended to have even bigger egos.

Have a happy Holiday weekend!

David

You cannot go on being a good egg forever. You must either hatch or rot.

-- C. S. Lewis

Yu-Kym said...

You mentioned "A women who goes after a man 20 or more years older want more than mere maturity." Ya, they want to make minimise the chances of the man going for an even younger model ! Was that what you were implying?

Anonymous said...

This is the cameltoe/coffee bloke. Notice also the use of the words "model" and "inches". Many, many implications. Plus, a nice quotation at the end too, to drive home the message that one is well-read.

David said...

Yu-Kym,

Part right, some women want the income that usually comes with the 20 yr or older male.

Gold diggers is a term used on this side of the Pacific.

David