Are you a good or bad kisser?

17
Kissing under the mistletoe... how romantic... or maybe not... is it going to be one of those things that are better imagined than experienced?

Basic oral hygiene is very important [Kissing and dental woes]. If the guy has yellowed teeth or tartar stuck on his teeth there's no way I'm going to kiss him and I won't even date him. If he can pass my oral hygiene assessment, the next stage is the actual kissing. Sadly, this part is usually usually better imagined than experienced. Every guy might think they know how to kiss. They would think everyone naturally knows how to kiss, just like everyone knows how to have sex (ya, right).

These are some kissing styles that I dislike:

1. Lippy Kisser
A result of watching too many Hollywood movies with fake kissing that makes people think that kissing is all about the lips. Lip kissing is for kissing your sister or mother.

2. Licky Kisser
A result of watching dogs. I don't know how the guy can get his saliva all over the bottom half of my face! Maybe he did it because he thinks I'm a bitch (female dog) who would appreciate such displays of affection.

3. The Toothbrush
When I was a teenager, I read in a teen magazine that you're supposed to kiss by running your tongue along the gum line of your partner's mouth. I guess some people took that advice seriously! I think only people with tartar stuck on their teeth would be happy to receive the cleaning service.

4. Salivator
Too much saliva. Is he kissing or eating? If he wants to eat, my mouth is the wrong body part...

5. Limp Tongue
This tongue seems to be lazy and it's not doing anything. It makes me want to ask, "Hello? Are you alive?"
If he's not alive up here, I doubt he's going to be alive down there.

6. The Darter
Unlike #5 the limp tongue, this one is hyperactive, darting in and out and all around my mouth so cluelessly that I would be asking, "WTH are you doing?!" if I didn't have an extra tongue in my mouth.

7. Deep Throater
Is he hinting that he wants something?


Kissing is one form of non-verbal communication. Giving and receiving, action and reaction. If a guy uses any of the kissing styles described above that I dislike, it just means that we are not communicating or connecting very well. Guys who are bad at kissing are usually bad at sex. The converse, however, is not always true.

17 comments:

David said...

Yu-Kym,

Interesting post for Christmas!

If we met I could only kiss you on your cheek if we were friends.

My wife keeps such personal info as one might say, private.

Merry Christmas and may all the kisses you recieve be the kind you like!

David

Anonymous said...

Hi Yu Kym

Did not realise that there are some many style of kissing out there; you should also dispense some good and desirable kissing techniques to educate us.

Really enjoy your daily provocative posting.

Wish you a Merry Merry Christmas and may you recieve kisses that you enjoy for the reast of the year.

Best Wishes

Hayek

De Maitre said...

Hayek,

If you want to know more about kissing, read Chapter 3 of the Karma Sutra. =) It covers almost every possible way you can kiss.

Anonymous said...

my teeth are a bit yellow, but it is clean...wwhat happened? i have no idea how to turn it white. suggestions?

Anonymous said...

Tell us about good kiss techni.

So we can kiss better :>

Yu-Kym said...

David, thanks!

Hayek, thanks and happy holidays! Have a wonderful year ahead.

De Maitre seems well-versed in that manual :)

Anon, teeth will naturally turn yellow with age. Food and drinks like curry and coffee can make our teeth turn yellow faster. It seems smoking also has the same effect.

Anonymous said...

Beside yellow teeth, buck-teeth or improperly aligned set of chewers, protruding jaws or gums like those owned by the "alien" lol ....I dont have to wait till i kiss a girl before I know if she will be a definite put-off! Nothing personal meant.

Any sign of bad breath or cigarette breath will put a stop to any of my amorous intentions.

That's how easily I get turned off.

curious cat

Anonymous said...

Yu-Kym

This article rekindled something that I have always wondered...

I know it's just movies..but everytime i watch a close-up passionate kissing scene, I never fail to notice that it is always a "dry" affair. I mean no wetness around the mouth/lips at all. So clinical and yet passionate.

How do they keep it so dry? At the expense of announcing my incompetence in the art of kissing, I have never been able to avoid a dry kissing encounter. There is always a "more than what i think necessary" wetness in the kissing region lol Or am i overreacting?

If the passion is even hotter, the close encounter would be even wetter!

Am i odd or doing it the wrong way or what? It's a habit of mine to even wet my lips tactfully before kissing. I hate dry lips. The only consolation is no gal of mine has yet complained but could it be they are being polite but prefer a dryer kiss? But a dry kiss? how does one manage that?

Their and my silence so far need not mean that my feeling that i am giving wee bit too wet kisses is inaccurate.

Yu-Kym, your article has finally permit me to vent my doubts and musings!

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

Because on TV, they are not really kissing. Some wetness is normal. Too much wetness is less normal but some people like it wetter.

Anonymous said...

If i am an actor, i dont have to act when Im kissing scarlett johansson... im really kissing her.

Too much wetness is messy like the wet market. lol

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

That's SURE to get you another part with the future :/

Anonymous said...

As if i totally believe in future life after death. I'm very very doubtful. But I live as best and as good-intentioned as i can for today. Just to make sure i dont rebegin as Danny Devito if indeed there's a future life. Always a Plan B! hehe

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

I wasn't referring to life after death. I meant if you did not behave in a professional manner (i.e. tonguing the kiss), you won't be getting another chance to be in a movie with her again.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha Yu-Kym,

Dont be too sure about that! Havent you heard about screen leads falling in love on the set after finding out that they have a certain chemistry in the reel scenes?

Scarlett Johansson will fall for me after my professional KISS!

My kisses... not short and simple. It's long and in-depth...but not as messy as the wet markets! lol

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

In that case, I'll have to say in your next life maybe!

Anonymous said...

The good that you do now, u will have an even better existence if there is a next life!

curious cat

Anonymous said...

tq tq tq tq tq.....wow...scarlett oh scarlett..(I love her lips) where art thou? hehe

curious cat