Plan B

7
What happens if you get retrenched? What happens if you fall ill and are unable to work? We'd like to have a plan B, or a backup plan, for everything, e.g. some sideline job or insurance.

What happens if your relationship does not work out? Do you have a Plan B?

Often I hear friends telling me that their gf/bf dumped them and within a few weeks found someone else. How did that happen?? Most of the time, their bf/gf was already dating someone else but did not break up the relationship yet because they were keeping it as a Plan B in case the new relationship did not progress as desired.

Some people also date many different people at the same time. There's nothing wrong with casual dating. But some people would give their dates the impression that they are seeing each other exclusively. How would their date ever find out about the other guys/gals anyway? I'm surprised when I find out that a guy who recently indicated his interest in me is suddenly in a relationship with someone else. Perhaps I had always been his Plan B. Or perhaps he'll just take whichever gal is desperate enough to snatch him at once. Such guys are no loss to me - they are either desperate or not interested enough in me in the first place. In fact, it's much better if they do not choose me.

Funny how I believe in having a Plan B for almost everything but relationships. I guess that's why I'm... still looking... and my Plan B is to be alone.

7 comments:

David said...

Yu-Kym,

Plan B, an interesting way of looking at an all to common occurence.

Been there and done that many times in my past.

During my 20s and later 30s I stopped counting the number of times I was turned down for date, a casual meeting, what ever you want to call a meeting.

I really was alone until I began to accept myself for who I truly am. When I stopped trying to find self-identity through a relationship.

Most members of the opposite sex, (women are far better at this than men), can read the subtle signals of another person actively searching, look for Ms. Right now, (or in your case Mr. Rigth-now.)

Why Mr/Ms. Right-now and not Mr/Ms. Rigth.

Like a heat seeking missle, someone activley searching for that Right-now relationship truly do not know themselves, this person is at times (as least I was), almost desperate for acceptance, the tender affection of another, and just someone to be with.

I am quite sure you know what it is like to be alone, whether in your home, or alone despite being in a crowd or even at a party.

Do not look so hard. I tried so hard to look, so hard that my intentions and loneliness were literally broadcast to every women near bye.

They quite smartly avoided me.

Self acceptane will lead to another person making the wonderful discovery of your unigue personality and will be drawn to like, and maybe after a time grow to love you.

The above is of course based on my humble life experience.

Peace be with you my friend!

David

~Pink Miu Miu~ said...

Yeah agreed..u can have Plan B or C for everything in liFe except relationships... coz no one falls in love to opt for Plan B or C or D unless they dun intend to commit in the first place or marriage is simply not meant for 'em.

Yes Kym, i like your Plan B by the way.. :)

Anonymous said...

life doesn't play by rules and plan hardly works well. :)

painter said...

Dear...do u know why u do not have a Plan B in ur relationship ah??cause u are a superbike lover...did u see a superbike carry spare tyres???so they no have Plan B when tyre puncture!!!hahaha....cheers!!!

Yu-Kym said...

David, good advice. I agree that people can sense desperation / insecurities of other people.

painter, superbike! that's a cute analogy! love it!

Anonymous said...

Almost everything I do in life I plan ahead and also have a plan B or sometimes even C and D. But I know there's one thing where I will never have a plan B. And that is when I have discovered the girl I want to have by my side forever and marry her (that is if I have to follow this ridiculous man made ritual).

So in the event I find the girl of my dreams, I do not have or even need to have a plan B. She is THE plan! The plan is also to win her completely over. There is no room in my thoughts or in my mind to even ever think of a plan B or failure. She occupies every available space for success.

In the unlikely event of a failure, then only do I start thinking of a plan B. And what might this plan B be? Back to square one, no wounds, no regrets, just as happy. But then, I normally dont fail so I wouldnt know if my heart will be scarred for life would I? keke

silli cat

Anonymous said...

Make life ssimply lah. Your own hand is your plan B.
Wanking is good for you.