Lazy dates

I don't mean take-it-easy dates; I'm referring to guys who are plain lazy as dates. I would think if I guy want to meet me, he should think of something interesting to do or some where interesting to visit together. But, no, they are too lazy to think. Although I stated my interest in nature, sports, books and music, rarely do guys suggest anything related to these interests. The only type of suggestions I usually get are:
- Eat / drink
- Watch a movie
- Make out / have sex

I don't know whether guys who ask me what I want to do without suggesting anything at all are better or worse than those who suggest the usual 3 things. Asking me what I want to do can be interpreted as being accommodating to my requests or preferences but it can also be interpreted as plain laziness to even think about it.

Example 1
Guy1: Would you like to go out?
Me: Ok.
Guy1: What do you want to do? You decide. Tell me the time and place to meet.
Me: We can have lunch.
Guy1: Ok. Tell me the time and place. You decide.
Me: Would you like Japanese, Chinese, Western or local food?
Guy1: Anything. You decide.

Example 2

Guy2: Would you like to go out?
Me: Ok. Let's meet for dinner at XYZ place.
Guy2: Ok. What's nice to eat at XYZ place?
Me: I know of a place with nice pizza.
Guy2: Ok. Pizza it is then. What else do you want to do?
Me: Can you come up with something?
Guy2: I don't know. I'm a boring guy.

At least pick something and suggest something. I'm trying. The least they can do is to try too. I feel as if I'm the one doing all the work. Is it going to be like that in bed too?

Guy1 in bed: What do you like me to do? Tell me EXACTLY how you want me to do it.
Me: You know what... I feel sick. We carry on some other time alright.

Looking back at my previous relationships and dates, I think I may have been the driver in deciding what to do and where to go most of the time. Perhaps I'm the one who's getting old and lazy... can we do a lazy date, i.e. is it ok for me to just lie there?

Related posts:
[The dinner + movie date]
[5 Things not to do on dates]
[Things to do on Saturday nights]
[Enthusiasm is appreciated]


David said...


Lazy date males, or for guys, females, once met should be avoided. That type of indecision is part of this persons behaviors, and will not change.

Some folks like this go through an entire life letting others make important and little decisions.

Okay some of these people might be afraid to make decisions, other may have been criticized for some decisions. However when one carries indecision into a relationship or dating, only a true control freak would enjoy such a one-sided person.


Yu-Kym said...

David, I completely agree lol. I don't mind being friends with people who behave this way but not anything more.

Anonymous_CB said...

[B]Example 3[/B]
Guy: Let go out.
Gal: Alright, you decide.
Guy: Let's go mamak. There is live EPL match.
Gal: I don't like mamak. Hot, sweaty.
Guy: Let's go pub. There is live EPL match.
Gal: I don't like pub. Smoke.
Guy: Let's go esplanade. Got giant screen on live EPL match.
Gal: No place to sit. Got sand. Hot. Sweaty
Guy: ???

Stop whining about Singtel & BPL !!!

Yu-Kym said...

Watching EPL match is not a date unless the gal is a fan! Haaa

Shaun said...

nature, sports, books and music:

Go for a natural hike after reading a book and listening to music? haha

You get sex also since it is one of your major interest

Anonymous said...

How did a pretty, smart lass like you get into a rut with boys.
I dare say most of the spoilt specimens I have met are a result of too much nannying.
Ironically, from their mother and to be fair, the Singapore culture.
Singapore mums are so precious of their brood that our boys (some) have turn into a bunch of softies.
On weekends, you can see NS boys being ferried to transport points in their parents car. You can see them sucking on a McDonalds soda in their battle uniforms. the sight of a soldier sucking like babies sucking milk bottles make me wonder what sort of training they get these days.
In my days, I whip the shit out of my trainees but always preface the tough going with an explanation - they are training to fight and give our potential adverserioes a bloody nose. We train hard, we sweat hard and we got earth inside every crevice of our boots and uniform. We drink soda too (under cover, never in public), raid durian plantations, bought fresh fried prawns from the kampong malay lady - during war exercises, and frightened the shit out of he enemy 'simulators' captured by us.
Yet at every weekend, my trainees never failed to invite me to their parties. I'm glad to see those young freshly scrubbed soldiers confidently chat up airline stewardesses, pretty college students, etc.
My trainess were only 2 to 3 years younger than me. Yet we went bowling, swarm our girlfriends in the hotel pools (you dont want to know how we got in) telling them the water is getting warm from us staring at their boobs, smoked cigars, drank booze and raced ah bengs & their Datsun (Nissan old name) SSS (Super Sports Sedan).
Now we are in our 50s and still keep in touch.
To be fair, the young girls of today should speak up and tell the boys, "Hey, I want to go fishing. Coming or not?"
Fishing, drive and tour by yourself in Malaysia, camping with friends, ...There can be so much to do if you build bonds with friends, dates and neighbours.

Yu-Kym said...

I agree that many guys are too mothered to the extent that instead of finding a partner, they end up looking for a young version of a mother who can do all the housework and provide free sex. They aren't ever going to move out until they find a substitute mother.

Perhaps guys have been conditioned to be more like women. Most of them like to "sit down and talk". *yawn* I thought they would be happy to get to know a gal who is willing to sweat and rough it out in the sun but I seem to be quite alone with that thought.

What's the thing about drinking sodas in public?

Anonymous said...

Singapore spend a huge amount of resources/money training soldiers to defend their nation. The public seldom get to see the effort and equipment required to train a soldier.
The only time the public witness our defence forces in large numbers; is during the time our NS trainees report at meeting points for transport to send them to army camps.
Soldiers in uniform ought to instil appreciation/respect from Singaporeans for performing their duty to protect Singapore. Similarly, soldiers should generate fear in the eyes of our potential enemies.
Sucking on a pepsi-cola (in public view) is going to generate fear?

Yu-Kym said...

I see your point now :)