I have less than 10 friends

9
Although one of the things that I believe is that friends must be few but good, I can't help but feel disappointed and sad when my "friends" prove that they are not my friends after all.

Yes, of course I have expectations. Everybody has expectations. Should my expectations be lowered? It's like asking whether my expectations for a live partner should be lowered.

What are my expectations? I have to clear my mind before I list them out. Honestly, I have been thinking about it for the past month but I still don't know where to start.

Who would have thought someone who speaks like me is the one who actually gets walked all over and bullied by friends and loved ones? I am a blind optimist - always doing my best and hoping for the best. I live with no regrets if I know I have done my best. I do my best as a friend. If the person does not reciprocate, I'll just have to move on. I am grateful to find out sooner rather than later.

9 comments:

STUMPBO said...

I have the same sentiments. I have a bunch of close friends since school days, while the others come and go, "passer-bys", and I have a whole bunch of other unimportant irritating ones whom I know are not shoulders to lean on in troubled times. I think quality still prevails rather than quantity.

David said...

Yu-Kym,

Weclome to the world of adults. You are still transitioning from your teen years into adulthood.

I am sure you are aware the one sure thing is life is that change is constant.

Among the things that change, and that we have no control over is that people change. Friends change, most often for the better, but at times like you face now, no for improvement. You will lose friends, and gain a few.

Interesting that we share the trait of only a few but good friends. That was never a goal for me, but that is how life has worked out.

My wife is not only the person I love the most, but she is also my best friend.

I have found over time, that many married couples are not best friends. I cannot explain this, but think people who lose friendship in marriage are in doomed relationships.

I have found that people cannot live up to my expectations. Think about this, how can another live to YOUR expectations.

I am growing more sure that true friends occur when mutual expectations are similar.

You are the only person on this Earth who can live up to your expectations, as I am the only person who can live to my own expectations.

I trust this might provide you with a little insight into human nature.

David

ray111 said...

to find a real friend is never easy..someone who can lend you a ear yet wont blurt out to others or someone who wont avoid you after knowing your problems...in this very materialistic world...stay cool babe...Ray111.

painter said...

that is life my dear....it is really hurt to find out the truth when u treat them like best friends.....so when it comes to friend...it is not about the quantity of friends we have, but the quality of friends around us....cheers dear...and take it easy.

Anonymous_CB said...

Like most who comments here, what I believe is quality, not quantity.

A person may have a lot of friends, but when in need, you will know who are real friends. True friends don't expect anything in return for favours done to you. It's the same when you help your true friend and in your own heart, you know you expect nothing in return for now, or future.

The true friend may not be always available to you, but at least he/she will be frank and direct to tell you off or explain to you why he/she can't make it. Some may tell lies, but it is easy to filter them out after a few tries.

I have true friends and close friends come and go as well. Only some can remain as true friends although we are not close friends. The rest are just normal friends that catch up when gathering.

It is not necessary a true friend must always keep in touch daily/weekly/monthly.

Yu-Kym said...

STUMPBO, irritating ones? haha. i guess sometimes we have no choice but to endure them for the time being.

David, you flatter me. I'm not that young! "people who lose friendship in marriage are in doomed relationships." Do you mean people who lose their friends after getting married?

ray111, you are right... not easy. i rather tell people the truth though. not afraid of people knowing anyway. just couldnt be bothered to explain to people who are only interested in passing judgment.

painter, i had my first experience of betrayal by a friend when i was 13. was surprised that people can do such things at that age!

Anonymous_CB, i agree with your point that true friends are not necessarily the ones who keep in touch very often. i still regard a few of my friends whom i haven't seen in a long time as my real friends.

David said...

Yu-Kym,

I did not express myself clearly.

People in marriage who do not have a strong friendship with thier partner are usually in a doomed marriage.

Can you define your idea of not that young?

David

Anthony said...

It is better to have just 1 good friend that will be there for you everytime than 100 fair weathered friends...

Renee said...

I agreed to Anthony's of having just 1 good friend instead of many...I can tell u even at work there isn't any true BFF...lunch kakis..? nah...we can't judge our so-called 'popularity' by having a group of 'friends'...I rather find it pretentious if u wana have friends who don't have their own real goals and keep relying on your to churn out miracles..and u can't tell who's gg to betray u in the end..I have not many friends too but I'm pleased cos I choose not to share endless lame gossips or backstab etc..I just find that it'll be better to be yourself instead of being influenced by a group of ppl faking friendships..