Choosing a partner is like buying a handphone

As you know, I just bought myself a Sony Ericsson Xperia X1 handphone. A few people commented that:
1. I should have done more research,
2. I should have waited for X2 which is going to be released "soon".

This is not going to be another blog about my phone. Rather, I would like to draw a few analogies: I realised that the advice and comments by people about my purchase is very much similar to that about relationships.

1. Should have done more research.
People would ask, "How long did you know the guy before getting into a serious relationship?"
Then they would say, "You should have gotten to know him better first."

Although I agree that couples should get to know each other first before entering into serious relationships, how much is enough? 3 months to 6 months for bf/gf? 3 years for marriage? It's subjective. Most people live their lives without even understanding themselves! So can people really get to know each other "well enough" to be able to make the right decision about their future together?

I did read about the phone, watch Youtube videos and tried the handphone at the Sony shop before buying it. But I just didn't think about testing the opening and closing of the battery cover because I never had such problems with my previous phones. But now having encountered this situation, I would check for it in phones that I plan to buying in the future.

In the same way, people may never know what's intolerable to them or know what to look out for without first experiencing it. Therefore, commenting that people should get to know each other "long enough" or "well enough" is too general and has limited benefits when they don't even know what to look out for.

2. Should have waited for the improved model.
One friend shared with me that after he got his first girlfriend, he soon found other gal looked better than his girlfriend. So he dumped his girlfriend for the "better" one. As you can guess, this cycle continued till one day when he realised that someone else's girlfriend/wife or any other gal who is not his girlfriend would always seem to be better. Also, he wasn't getting any younger. He decided to put a stop to the vicious circle of changing girlfriends. He married his girlfriend and made the decision to love the person he married instead of constantly pursuing "upgrades".

There will always be a better and improved handphone models out there. So I can wait forever for my ideal handphone. In the meantime, I risk my current phone (that's more than a year old) dying on me and having no trade-in value at all.

It may sound ironic to some people that I should suggest that we should stop waiting for the improved model - I do not have a boyfriend and many people think that's because I'm fussy. However, I think in all situations, we must know the basic requirements of what we want to buy. For my handphone, I wanted one with Wi-fi, HSDPA and qwerty keyboard but didn't want to pay more than $350 for it. The X1 fulfills my basic requirements and I only paid $238 for it (after trade-in, signed 2-year plan, $100 surcharge for upgrading before 21 months of signing my previous contract). For a guy, my basic requirements are very simple. [Read them here and share your thoughts: My dream guy]. I just haven't met a guy who meets all the criteria, isn't married and feels the same way about me.

(Whether I want to marry the guy is not the issue - I don't want that sort of relationship with a married man because I regard it as dishonesty. Everyone has different opinions and levels of acceptance of dishonesty. I am not imposing my view on people but on myself.)


STUMPBO said...

Oh dear, I hope for me, choosing a partner is not like buying handphone. This is because I tend to change handphones pretty fast, even though I have always researched a lot prior to purchase and I always buy the high end ones (so called improved model). But I will tend to change it sooner than most people, even though I loved it to death when I am using it. Hehe!

David said...


You make some interesting analogies.

Keep in mind that with men,(and in male case - women), there are no improved models.
Only different types. I am quite sure you know from experience that if meet a man who seems really nice, (maybe Mr. Right), but he has one or two really bad habits, say he gets drunk once or twice a week and is an angry type when drunk. Most women know that this type of behavior rarely changes. Some men will stop drinking for a short while, then resume the habit. One cannot will a bad trait out of another person no matter how hard we try.

Have a bad phone- complain louldy and often until you get one that works.

Have a bad companion, drop that person FAST.

BTW, IMHO you are a bit young to be thinking of marriage. I trust you already know that I am not shy expressing my opinions.

I agree that everyone has different opinions.

One should be willing to listen to other opinions and when change is good, find a way to leave old ideas behind and do what is right.


imthekingg said...


i totally agreed with you.... how much is long enough for you to know that person if you are going to be in relationship with. you will never know.... coz u may need a lifetime to get to know or not even know him /her till you die...

andrewcha said...

i agreed on your 1st point. I think you made a good comparison. Totally agree with you especially the sentence 'people may never know what's intolerable to them or know what to look out for without first experiencing it'. Now i'm getting 'the' experience. Apologies.
Then you can ask for some of your friends or bring it back to Sony retail to get it done for you.

dark snow said...

hope u get the right phone!!

~Pink Miu Miu~ said...

mmm babe... very interesting analogy :)i thought of ppl who said: "Any model phone will do, so long as can call out and receive incoming ones will do.. whether 1.3 megapixels or no 3G oso nvr mind.." interpreted as: "i just want to marry a girl, doesnt matter whether chiobu or can cook anot, so long as she is a girl then ok liao.. :P

Darren said...

I had problems with my W995 as well.
just need to make a trip to SE centre.

My boss bought me a HTC Hero in Xiamen(China), its cheaper because its a export set. But i only find out that it is a eastern European set can't write chinese. Its not nice to shaft the phone to 1 side and i manage to sell the phone and top up some money to buy a same phone with local warranty. Then new problem arise, i can pair up with my current SE phone on bluetooth but can't connect, guess i need to make a trip down to HTC centre.

There is problems in our daily life, we can't avoid it, its not constructive to make aftermath comments (δΊ‹εŽε­”ζ˜Ž), try to solve the problems. There is no such thing as perfect phone, I make the decision to buy the phone, i got to live with it and solve the problems.

Anonymous said...

Care to comment/report the case below:

"... 14-YEAR-OLD girl from Tanjung Dawai in Sungai Petani, Kedah, admitted that she has been pregnant four times between 2007 and now, Harian Metro reported.

The teenager, who is three months pregnant now, had two miscarriages when she was 12 and 13 and underwent an abortion in April this year.

She first became pregnant at 12 after she was raped in the bushes by a man who offered her a lift home after school, and became pregnant again the following year after being victimised by another man.

The girl dropped out of school and started work last year to ease the financial burden of her mother, who does not have a permanent job. Her father is a fisherman with no fixed income... "

Anonymous_CB said...

I would rephrase the topic to changing a partner is like changing h/p.

1-2 generations ago, people only have one fixed line phone and use one phone for many many years, or until die. (1 wife or g/f)

Those richer ones will have several phones in the house (4 wifes ?) and perhaps several phones in office (mistress)

Nowadays, people always change phones every couple of months/years. Just like changing partner. So, an advise here, if your partner is not changing you, perhaps he/she may be having affair outside.

On a serious note, buying h/p, which is a technology item like PC/notebook, technology moves very fast.

You are not going to buy anything, cause technology will keep getting better and cheaper price.

Just buy what you want at the price you are willing to pay and use it.

David said...


Anonymous_CB makes a good point.

Unless you have to have,(or just want and can affort the price) being an early adopter of the latest tech toys, you will find the functionality is not always fully developed.

Waiting for a second or third generation of a tech product saves money, with later and competing models having grown out of the problems that plague 1st gen gadgets.

Have a great weekend.


Shaun said...

How long did you wait?