Angry sex

I have confided in male friends about my feelings of anger towards a partner in the past, and it's not uncommon for them to suggest that I teach the guy a good lesson - sexually. When I'm angry with my partner, I can't even bear the thought of him touching me on my hand let alone do angry sex!

I think guys, generally, are more capable of angry sex than women. (I regard angry sex as one notch above rough sex.) It's rather common to hear of guys thinking of or having sex with their partners who made them angry. In fact, it makes them more motivated to ram really hard with all the energy they've got, gag and choke them, and sexually "use" their partners to their full satisfaction to punish or teach them a lesson.

Most women, excluding those who offer paid service, would need to feel positive towards their partners in order to have sex. The positive feeling may not necessarily be love but it can also be lust, an attraction, a liking or even sympathy. This is one reason why some couples tend to have sex less frequently after they've been together for a long time - too many negative feelings and unresolved issues accumulated over time affects women's ability to have any sort of desire for their partners. Let me say this to men who complain that their wives are no longer interested in sex: it's not that you wife is uninterested in sex, rather, she are not interested in having sex with you!

So if women don't do angry sex, how do men get to do angry sex? It usually happens when the man is angry and the woman is trying to pacify him. If the man is any good in bed, or if the woman is any good at faking it, the man is likely to come away from angry sex feeling really good about himself after the woman says, "OMG! I didn't know you can be such an animal!"

As for me, I have never attempted to pacify an angry partner using sex. Would having him suck on one of my two pacifiers really work in appeasing him? Hmm... I've still got alot to learn.


Agree with what you said. My 'little brother' cant even 'stand up' when we are quarelling..

It could only happen after the negative feeling is comforted. ^^

Anthony said...

I have tried it once with my ex. We just quarelled and I sent her home. Then I used her toilet as I have urgent need to pee. I tried to kiss her to pacify. She was reluctant as she was angry. I eventually was able to force my mouth on her when all the struggle ended up me on top of her on bed. There was some initial struggle but then she responded and we had some best sex ever. It was a hot night. We had a nice talk after the sex over what made us quarrel and we had a better understanding thereafter.

Anonymous said...

sharing elims' opinion, therefore can't Angry Sex for me a male too~

David said...


Never ever had angry sex. There are other ways to express anger, that are more appropriate and effective.

Want to end a relationship? That is about the only use for angry sex. Even then the effort seems wasted.

Want to teach someone a lesson, tell them goodbye, get lost, I do not want to ever see you again.

Those phrases pack a punch.


Yu-Kym said...

Angry sex seems to work for some people while it doesn't work for others. I guess just do whatever works best for the couple?

Anonymous said...

I would say someties it works, sometimes it doesn't... My experience...

I juz found out about this blog, rather interesting from an Asian point of view... :)

And it's even better to hear it from a woman's Point of View...