Internet: Connected or disconnected?

Has this ever happened to you:
You've emailed and chatted online with a person over a period of time, you both get along well and always have interesting things to discuss but in person you've got nothing to say at all!

Most of us can't live a day without the Internet; many of us are Internet addicts. I can handle voluntary disconnection: I can go without the Internet for a week if I'm on a holiday overseas, I turn off or do not bring my handphone with me when I do sports, and I've never bothered to access MSN on my handphone. But involuntary disconnection like failure of the Internet service, a slow Internet connection or a faulty computer makes me feel stressed and anxious. On Monday, I was unable to turn my desktop computer on and I felt extremely uneasy. Withdrawal symptoms perhaps?

Social Skills & Cybersex
Remember the survey last year showing that most women would rather forgo sex for 2 weeks than the Internet? What has the world come to?! Or are men so bad at sex that women would rather entertain themselves online? Nah... just scaring you :P

One of the reasons: both men and women do not practice their social skills as much as before. Many people find that they are better at expressing themselves online than in person. They sound more interesting online, and their chat buddies sound more interesting online too. Everything seems better online so why not stick to it? It's easier hiding at home behind the LCD screen and keyboard where nobody knows how big their asses have grown! In the meantime, online sex is evolving. Cybersex used to involve only typing and reading but now there's cam-sex that allows people to watch, hear, be watched and be heard! People can't contract diseases from cybersex and anyway they've probably forgotten how to have sex already. Btw, I don't think we've seen the end of the evolution of cybersex.

Despite being more connected through MSN, blogging and micro-blogging (e.g. tweet), I think people are more disconnected and lonelier than ever. The Internet is meant to be a supplement not replacement for face-to-face contact. When these people feel lonely, what do they do? They search for companions online. It might be strange for straight men to chat up other men, so a men chat up women. Not all men chat up women because they want sex. Some may just want someone to chat with, exchange ideas, or do some activities like sports together (I'm not referring to bedminton here). It's the same for women - not all are looking for sex but some do give sex in return for companionship.

I think in addition to the annual Earth Hour during which people are encouraged to turn off the lights, we should have a day dedicated to meeting friends and doing things offline instead of online.


David said...


I agree that many use communicating over the net to hide or obscure lack of social/people skill. This is sad to think about.

No one can build a long term relationship without meeting that person. As humans, touching, sight and hearing a real person is very important to forming the bonds that unite individuals.

OTOH, we do see the world with a different perspective.

While you celebrated Earth Hour, I celebrate Human Achievement hour.

Follow this link:

So, instead of turning off the lights tomorrow and lamenting the very notion that human beings live modern lives, we encourage you to celebrate Human Achievement Hour. Rejoice in the fact that your fellow human beings have mastered fire, created an agricultural world, built wondrous monuments, invented miraculous machines, and otherwise exercised their creative powers to make the world the great place it is today.

Video link:

Have a great weekend.

BTW, your big climb date is near. How are your final preparations progressing?


Yu-Kym said...

David, I read about that when you posted it at my other post :) I think we need more special days and better still if they're public holidays LOL
My climb is cancelled unfortunately. My friend needs to work on an important project that weekend. Guess Mt Kinabalu will have to wait :)

Roger said...

It's not surprising that many people lack social skills as they live in a virtual world. With more innovations in the future this virtual world will be even more appealing and exciting.

~Pink Miu Miu~ said...

Some or most people take on another persona when they log themselves online.. perhaps feeling disappointed and upset with the reality, they seek solace in virtual space.

Hayabusa said...

Chatted great with someone online but nothing to say with that person face-to-face? i myself get that a lot. i've recently just made a friend through a friend on facebook, & the stuff i said to her & stuff, are those that i'd only say to people i've knew for some time in real life.

I think one thing that makes people so engrossed in being online, is that there's no strings attached. anyone can come & go anytime, & when you say something others don't like to hear or vice versa, one can just leave it at that & move on. there's hardly any humiliation one can suffer online, but one can suffer humiliation plentiful in real life.

Yu-Kym said...

Talking about living in a virtual world, I can understand camsex, phonesex but sex, marriage and children in computer games?! I don't quite understand. Maybe we will reach a time when nobody does anything outside the virtual world anymore.

Anonymous said...

There are many in this world who are not as fortunate as some of us who are graced with good looks and attractive personality, interesting conversationalist, good brains, articulate mind, good social skills, confidence, eloquency, good mannerisms, etc

So I cant really blame many ppl from being the complete opposite of what they appear to be online because they may have one or more but not enough of the other attributes to be able to properly and confidently conduct a successful face to face encounter. So what choice do they have except through cyber space?

As long as there is no intention to dupe, no intention for any malice or mischieviousness, no intention to hurt, I think we should let these poor fellas indulge in harmless activities that occupy their time in their own comfort zone and which make them happy.

Remember that not many have our good fortunes.

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

I have this crazy thought that someday, "reality" would be in the cyberworld and our physical selves don't matter anymore!

Anonymous said...

It's not crazy in the very very distant future! It may very well happen where many things that are considered normal and logical here and now in the present no longer exists.

Cyberworld can actually be an unrecognisable Crazyworld in our current world's perception.

curious cat