How to find a good woman?

In this modern era, to find a virgin above the consenting or legal age is almost impossible. To find a woman with all the fine characteristics - that’s much harder than finding a needle in a hay stack.

Why is it so hard to find a really good woman nowadays? Is it because we men spoilt them silly or pampered them to the state of rotting grades? Could it be the media playing a big part in it too? Making women feel like it’s a better world without men around sometimes. Like that misleading feminist ad from UOB’s ladies credit card last year? It had this misleading slogan, “The men don’t get it.” What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

In this topic I am writing, I am going to show you what a regular good guy (assuming this chap is of sound mind and characteristic standing here) should look out for, and what he should do if he wants to know if he can proudly bring his date home to the parents.

Just follow the methods of what I mention below and chances are, you may get the right lady for a rewarding and blissful relationship.

1) Protect yourself from a man-hater.

Heard of those feminist bitches that never stop bad mouthing a man’s dignity, his career, his pockets, and even the size of his manhood in his trousers? The poor guy will never understand what he ever did or said but this woman of his will never be satisfied with him.
Usually, this sort of man-hater woman grew up in an environment where her mother is the boss of the household and she is taught and shown that all men are useless creatures who only know how to eat, fucks and sleep.
There’s a high chance she is doing extremely well in a corporate career. Earns tons of money too. Date this kind of woman if you are the (Little white face) Xiao bai lian, or in English term, a gigolo.

2) Natural beauty and extreme vanity are different things

All men are captivated by beauty. Including myself. There’s nothing shameful to admit this. I’ve met countless beautiful women in my scope of work (I work as a hairdresser).
I am very attracted to naturally good looking women who bother to eat healthily, exercise, are hygienic, and practical. When you take a good look at their faces, they have a barely-there kind of make up and yet, their complexion is flawless. They never brag about themselves and are always humble.
While on the other hand, there are the so-called attractive women, who look presentable, usually can turn heads when they walk pass. Unfortunately, these are the ones who talk 24/7 about their facial treatments, their hair, their false eyelashes, their fake accent, their hand bags, their dressing, their foundation and powder, their holiday trips, their boobs or what ever fucks. It’s all about her. And only her and no one else but her. Get the point?
Yes, they are good lookers, but when they start to talk, I realize that their only concern is: Themselves.
If you are thinking of marrying these kind, be prepared that she will never take good care of you if you ever need it. But, if you are looking for a good time, she can make your mates envy you.

3) Never date a sloppy woman

Unless you want to pick and pack after her. Usually, it’s the men who are unkept and untidy. Of cos, they have a mother to do it for them when they are young. I am the complete opposite though. I happen to be a super neat and clean freak.
Reasons for not dating these sloppy women are: she is pure lazy, doesn’t dress up, does not bother about her appearance at all and always relying on others to do things for her. I have very low tolerance for lazy man, talk about lazy woman? Hell no!
Women who are lazy will not do anything productive. They enjoy watching TV, surf net, talk on the phone or eat chocolates? They do not exercise, so you know what kind of shape they look like?
Imagine her on the bed with you? You’ll be working real hard and she’ll just lie there and er…snore? And when she is ready to have your children, will she be a good mother who washes and cleans up after the kids? Nah, chances are she will continue to eat her crackers while watching Korean soap dramas.
Who should date this kind of semi-vegetable woman? The super low self-esteem male of cos.

4) Watch out for the Gold Digger

“Plain and simple, you got lots of money, I give you honey.” Gold Diggers' all time favorite slogan. Please do not confuse the racist, sexist, classic, a must-learn English sentence, “Me so horny, me love you long time.” That applies to the non-English speaking part of the world like, Thailand or Vietnam.
So, what typifies a Gold Digger?
A lady who will do anything to get her hands on your wallet, savings account, Swiss bank secret account, your family’s treasure or whatever she deems as potential valuables. She will tell you how big your house is, how big your car is and how big your dick is, just to get your approval and access to your money.
Now, not all women who want money are completely bad. What about some woman who are genuinely sincere but need some financial help from us men? I say, we help them. To our very best. But, we have to be wise enough to test and prove her love for you is real and it's not just your wallet she is after.
Of cos, there are cases where D.O.M (Dirty Old Men) lost their entire savings to young pretty foreign talents. They saw that coming, yet, they insist on helping their young girlfriend’s “relative very sick, need money to safe lives” usual lame excuses.
I mean, take a fucking good look at yourself first.
All wrinkled up, lost so many teeth, vision impaired, and dick barely feels anything except with the sex pills' aid. What the fuck does she see in you? Bad breath and all wrinkled, crumpled up penis? These are the assholes who give men the bad image when they grow old.
Who should allow a Gold Digger into their lives?
The blind, those who just got rich from lottery or inherited-some-fortune witless dudes.

5) Stay away from spendthrift women

She is different from the Gold Digger I mentioned earlier. She uses her money instead of yours. Frugality does not exist in her vocabulary.
I am sure most men read up about a hot gal profile on facebook or some personal questionnaire about her. One of her favorite pastime is, shopping. Nothing wrong with that. She is helping with the economy anyway. She spends so that others get to keep their jobs.
What if your woman is in this category?
First thing you need is, a bigger car to load her shopping bags, then a bigger house with a larger storeroom to put her countless hand bags, shoes, clothes, accessories, cosmetics, stuff toys, and whatever shit she can buy with money. She will not remember any of those, in fact, so you can auction them off on eBay for a quick buck.
The worst scenario is when both the man and woman are under the same category.
What happens when one of them became jobless and have no more income?
With such an unhealthy habit, do you think she will be happy about cutting down her spending? I don’t think so. She is definitely stressed up. May blame the man for being useless and not making enough money like her and so on.
The spendthrift women or men always love to compare their properties like gadgets, cars, houses, clothes, and brands with just about anyone. And forever get stressed up when they “lose” out to whoever they are comparing with. Therefore, “money no enough” mentality creeps in, and forever enslaves them with materialism.
Another characteristic about them is, they all hate to have children after they are married. Because, that means, they have to share their earnings with their kids.
Who should date or marry these spendthrift women?
The “I think I Love her” idiot or the spendthrift men themselves.

6) The overly friendly, flirtatious women are best avoided

I am not being pragmatic about women who make the first move. I get that many times. But, I like to warn you guys, women who come too easily are also gone too easily.
Not for the easily heartbroken men. Yes, they may seem too good to be true. Their lovely faces, friendly smiles and caring words are nice. Even I feel that too. But, you have to remind yourself that she is doing the same to others as well. If you are not the jealous type, you may give it a try.
I may be wrong about certain flirtatious women, some are friendly and flirtatious on the outside only. But, in actual fact, they could be very conservative at heart. Then, there are some who have a bit of men’s egoistic personality. They love to conquer men and live to brag about it to their friends. Times have changed. It's no longer like the ancient days where women are afraid of being called a slut. Thanks to popular media like the Desperate Housewives series.
Who should date her?
Every man who wants to get laid. You think you got what it takes? Then take a queue number dude.
The sensitive and protective men should best avoid her, in case he cannot handle the situation well. May cause tremendous heartache.

7) Don’t go near the sickly type of women

Pardon me for being cruel and cold towards them. I do not believe healthy men will fall in love with a pale skinny anorexia woman whose ambition in life is to die or something.
If the women whom you love was healthy before until diseases or sickness befalls her, I encourage you to stay with her. Do not be a selfish bastard who leaves when someone is sick or in trouble.
What I am saying here is, if you are not in a relationship with her, and she seems sick all the time, chances are, she could be the sort who does not know or bothers to take good care of herself. Do not waste your precious time getting involved with her.
You don’t know her history very well. Don’t know what kind of virus or diseases she got that might be transmittable or potentially hazardous to you.
Forget about all those Hollywood make-believe stories where the hero falls in love with some sick-looking babe. In reality, when she’s not healthy, she can never be a babe in the first place.
I am very particular about the individual’s responsibility to their own health. I quit that filthy habit of smoking when I realized what it had done to my sex life. I do not drink excessive alcohol, I watch my diet, get plenty of rest. I hardly fall ill. In fact, I think the last time I was sick was few years ago.
Some women prefer to become unhealthy and sick because; they get to win some of the idiotic guys' sympathy.
Who will go for sick and unhealthy women?
The sick in the head and sick in the ball kind of guy who hasn’t gotten laid in many months.

8) Stupid women are a waste of time

Please do not confuse it with women with big boobs. It’s a general myth that women with big boobs are less intellectual than their smaller and flatter counterparts. I have dated few well endowed ladies before. And I can say they are smart women who know the way to a man’s heart.
I am not referring to those women with lower education level like the primary schools drop out or something like that.
I am referring to those women who refuse to use their heads for anything, even if they are gifted and have good college degrees. Once they are out from the educational institutes, they forget to bring their brains wherever they go.
How do I gauge intelligence?
Definitely not based on their academic achievements. Rather, it’s how much general knowledge they possess, their human relationship interactions and experience (EQ), how to handle stress or adversities (AQ) and know their roles as wife or Girlfriend well.
Stupid women cannot make the house a home. She will not know how to take care of her husband or herself and basically, she knows nothing much except shopping, manicure, facial and maybe mahjong.
Another type of stupidity I can’t understand are those women who really think every person she meets is a nice guy or really has her interest at heart. Even though the signs are there for everyone to see she is falling into a trap. After repeated warning and advice, this kind of women think their instincts are always right only to have the men comfort her when things did not turn out the way she “hopes”.
What attracts men to this category of unwise women?
The type who do not have much ambition. Want a predictable woman. And perhaps in a rush to get married because his mother says so.

9) The possessive women are a pain in the ass

How many of you actually come across this sort of women? And why do we still allow them to rule over us? Your mobile phone, your office phone and every hour of your life is haunted by her incessant ranting of, “Where are you now?” or “Why didn’t you answer my call just now?”
They are people with very low self-esteem. Are always paranoid about other women snatching or seducing their men. Of cos, there are some men who behave the same too.
It seems that this type of possessive women tend to hang out with very negative colleagues or friends who always had some kind of marital or relationship problems with their man. And they always love to stereotype all men as flirtatious and needing constant monitoring.
But, they didn’t know this, sometimes, all this constant paranoid monitoring pisses men off so much that, in some instances, they seek refuge in other women’s arms instead. Of cos, the act is debatable.
To sum it up, the possessive women are emotionally unstable. They have high chances of going into a post natal depression easily if they have just given birth. They are never satisfied with whatever men do or say. Always fault finding.
Who is going to be possessed by this possessive woman?
Hopefully the mummy’s boy type of men. Perfect harmony.

10) Domineering women are a turn off

She wears the pants in the house or in the relationship. These self-righteous women are difficult to reason with. She thinks she’s smarter and more intelligent then you. Holds a lucrative career with an important job title. Takes home a fat paycheck. She decides what you wear to dinner or events. She buys your toiletries and chooses the design of your underwear.
And because some men are incompetent or complacent, they let the women run their lives and even their finance as well. Eventually, over the years, the woman feels that their man is like a child to them. Always needing constant nagging and supervision. Time to do this or do that.
Of cos, some men do deserve to be treated like this. They do not master their role as well as a man should. Instead, always cowering from inconveniences or adversities in life. Rather leave everything to the woman to handle.
I feel that, certain domineering women are in fact nurtured by the men themselves. If they had taken over certain tasks at hand and not relied on the women to do it, she would never have to feel her man is like a child who needs taking care of.
Who is going to get whipped by her tonight?
I guess, it’s going to be the no-ambition, lazy, good-for-nothing, hen-pecked men.

So, there you have it gentlemen, the informal guide to finding yourself a good partner.

Your sweet and sour comments are welcome.
-by guest writer, Rock Hard


Shaun said...

That is why you should have more than 1 woman right?

Banshee said...

It seems to me that woman had changed a lot since the sex revolution that started in the middle of last century.

About man-haters, I think such kind of person is also raised by an environment that was rotten due to a bad paternal figure, e.g. a place where the wife is submissive and the husband is a drunk bastard that abuses her. Around here, man-haters usually comes out from families like this.

Anyway, I read your entire exposition… but I felt you gave no real advice on finding a good partner… I mean, you said an entire list of “no, no”. Explained what to be aware of… but in none of those topics you exposed “how to deal” with such kind of ladies in case you are trapped in a relationship with one… or even if you are in love with one of those.

Further… I might be wrong, but I feel you are looking for an “Yamato Nadeshiko” kinda of women, pretty, docile, that would clean your stuff, housewife.
I dunno what’s going on in Singapore, but in South America to find a girl like this would be a life time finding. Mostly, you will find a girl that is a mix of lighter versions of some patterns exposed above, and obligations as a couple will be strictly split equally between the couple. So… mostly, finding a good partner is finding someone that you can cohabit well, and that you can work nicely together. If you can find someone who you are able to share things harmonically… then you find yourself a good partner. In the end, it all depends on “will”.

Anonymous said...

unfortunatelly, u cant av a 100% good woman. its a mirth

Yu-Kym said...

Shaun, then women should have more than 1 man too :P
Banshee, I agree that it's important to find someone who can cohabit well and work well together. Everyone has different definitions and ideas of what "good" encompasses.
Anon, there's no 100% good man, so I don't think there's a 100% good woman either!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Sorry, this man (meaning me, curious cat) dont get it!

With no disrespect to Rock Hard...what is he doing here in Yu-Kym's blogsite? By invitation? But Yu-Kym, I'm not in your blog to know what Rock Hard has to say.

I want to hear Yu-Kym's version of how to nail a good woman and/or a good man!

So how about it girl?

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

curious cat, it's because I don't have experience with how to find a good woman and I still don't know how to find a good man!

Anonymous said...

hmmmmmmm....I will tell you how to find a good man.

First go about your normal life as you are right now - happy, contented, carefree (except for your work perhaps) and independent.

And if you chance upon someone with potential and you dont know if he is a good can always clear your doubts or concerns with me. keke I can assure you, it's not the first time that my advice has been highly sought for such and other matters.

But it's up to you to take up on my offer or not. But I want u to find a good man. It would be such a travesty of fortune if you dont hook for yourself the best of the few good men to match you! lol

curious cat

Anonymous said...


i forgot to add something important that you should know.

I have read quite a number of your blogs. And actually I'm heartened that you already have your basics right in knowing how to find a good man. Your brain and heart and emotions are generally in place and poised for success in whatever you aspire.

But you just need a little help tweaking some aspects of your attitudes and mindset to get things just right and fruitful for you.

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

curious cat, change is necessary at various points in our lives but nobody can know or tell exactly how someone else needs to change. Some men may not be able to live without women but there are many women who can live (and are happier) without men!

Anonymous said...


Of course those are possibilities.

But your stance may also reflect on your immaturity in certain ways. You are too clever for your own good for a fruitful relationship with a man. You will realise the folly of your attitude some day and by then it will be too late to turn back the clock.

The only way you will turn out right in your chosen path is if you are happy in singlehood. I wish you good luck.

curious cat