5 Things NOT to do on a date

9
Whether you like it or not, you know that first impressions count. But I'm surprised at how guys don't know how to behave on dates.

#1 Be late
I like it when the guy is on time or 5 to 10 mins early and send me an sms or calls to say that he's arrived. But it's not ok for him to hurry me just because he's early. If we're meeting after work, I can accept if a guy is late but he should have the courtesy to let me know in advance that he will be late.
If he does not appreciate, respect or value my time on the first date, then it's highly unlikely that he would any time in the future.

#2 Answer phone calls
Some people's faces light up the moment their handphones do! It makes them feel important and happy because somebody needs them!!!
Sometimes I don't even know that the guy's phone is ringing while I'm talking to him because his phone is on silent mode, then suddenly without warning he's talking to someone else! This is just rude! He should state that he needs to answer the call, or ask whether it's ok for him to do so.
And regardless of whether he was polite before answering the call, he should not be on the phone for more than 3 minutes unless he gives a good reason for that before or after the call. If he's got somewhere else he'd rather be, then there's somewhere else I'd rather be too.

#3 Not hold the door open
Perhaps I assume too much... I thought all guys should know that they need to hold the door open?? The "ladies first" rule may sound cliche but it's still applicable. If a guy feels embarrassed about holding the door open and letting the lady walk through first, he should at least hold it open until the lady walks through instead of letting it slam in her face. As for car doors, it would be nice if he can open/close the car doors. I recall I dated a guy who stopped his car where I was waiting for him. He signaled me not to get in. I was wondering what the problem was. He then opened the car door to get out of the driver's seat and ran over to the passenger's side to open the door for me. That was so cute!

#4 Eavesdrop
Some guys enjoy eavesdropping on conversations at the next table or trying to decipher the nationality of the foreigners in the restaurant. Firstly, it's rude to eavesdrop. Secondly, why do I need to care where everyone else in the restaurant comes from? Unless he's looking out for suicide bombers, I take offense in his interest in other people rather than in me.

#5 Be calculating
If the gal did not state that she's going to pay, the guy should assume that he's supposed to pay for everything. Gals may offer to pay for something but my advice to guys on this is: unless she insists, do not accept it on the first date. I've heard of gals who will not go out again with guys who accepted. Guys who split the bill to the very last cent are perceived by gals to be calculating and stingy even though gals may do this with their galfriends all the time. I personally prefer a guy to pay for everything on the first date, then we take turns to pay on future dates.

I'm sure there are gals who don't behave well on dates too. The most common complaint I've heard from guys is late-coming. I understand the concept of being "stylishly late" but anything more than half an hour isn't stylish - it's plain rude and disrespectful. I don't put up with "stylish" people and I don't see why anybody should!

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9 comments:

Africanlegend said...

Yu-Kym I agree with your analysis. As for #5 i think if you ask a girl out you should be willing and able to fit the bill. I think it nice when the girl offers and some girl want to to contribute. There seems to be a new wave of that mentality going around. It might take away that obligation to act because someone paid for your time.

I have written a list as well def check it out and compare notes. P.S I'll subscribe to your blog :-)

http://www.stuff-about.com/2009/08/10-things-not-to-do-on-date_12.html

Yu-Kym said...

Someone paid for your time? Haha... Just a meal is kinda cheap :P

Hayabusa said...

I just got reminded of why I'm still single till this very day. haha.

Yu-Kym said...

Hayabusa, you broke all the rules? Or the gals use you for free meal?

Anonymous said...

I do not have problems getting repeat or multiple dates partly because I am very concious to behave like a gentleman but very occasionally boos boos do occur through oversight or carelessly. I think the man has the greater burden or expectation to conduct themselves at the highest level in this department.

For women however, I have always accorded them some degree of margin for error because I believe women should be treated specially simply because they are....well...women!! lol

I therefore allow them certain privileges or prerogatives, examples of which are:

1) ok to be a little late for dates or keep the man waiting for a while..perhaps making herself look prettier;

2) ok to be a little fickle minded or indecisive in decision making...like the things they want to do on a date, etc

But if she misuse or abuse these "perks", then obviously its the last time they see me coz these women just dont know where the limits are! keke

But thankfully i have yet to meet such women which shows that careful selection who you end up dating is crucial to an enjoyable and pleasant day.

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

Lucky you!

Sometimes people have good intentions but they say/do the wrong things or their words/actions are misinterpreted.

I believe men should be appreciated for cutting women some slack sometimes, and women should do the same too!

Anonymous said...

Yes to both. That's why I've been saying to you Yu-Kym that one must not be too rigid in making a firm non-negotiable stand on some criteria when choosing a "dream guy" or coming to a hasty conclusion on a person.

Always leave room for a little margin to reconsider, forgive, backtrack if and when the situation calls for it. Never say never!

So are you cutting some slack for others? And more importantly are you cutting some slack for yourself too? Or are you in denial that u have some emotional issues and avoiding to overcome the demons in you?

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

curious cat, everyone draws the line at different perimeters. I'm sure you draw the line somewhere too. I hope you can appreciate that everyone has different limits and boundaries. I have thought through mine very carefully based on past experience.

Anonymous said...

You're so wrong! But it's your life dear!

curious cat