Women's weapon of choice against other women

I think women generally have a greater problem with their body image than men do. When I was in Junior College, one of my skinny classmates complained to me that she's fat. I told her that she's not but she pulled out some skin under her arm (at her triceps) and insisted that she's fat.

There was a time when I put on some excess weight from having one too many roti-prata-suppers that the after-supper activities couldn't burn off. One day a colleague was walking behind me and commented that I put on weight. I didn't take that comment seriously until I stood on a weighing scale at the gym while waiting for my friend! It was the old type of scale with lead weights so I couldn't lie to myself that the weighing machine was spoilt. I did lots of cardio and pilates at the gym for over 4 months before I got myself back to my normal weight.

In the past 1 year, I've been pretty addicted to exercising. I been exercising up to 5 times a week, extending my workout durations to over 1.5 hours at times. I also do more weight-bearing exercises than in the past and also do sports/exercises that involve my upper body. I gained about 4 kg over the past year and now weigh as much as I did during my prata days but when my colleagues see me in the lift they like to comment that I'm now thinner!?

Why do people always have to make comments about other people's bodies? [Read my prev post, Women have great memory when it comes to...] I think some people, like my colleagues, are genuinely concerned about the person's health but I've heard about people in other companies becoming the butt of everyone's jokes for being overweight. Some companies don't hire people who are overweight! (And I'm not referring to modelling agencies).

I suppose low self-esteem is one reason by people enjoy criticising others. By doing so, they get a sense of satisfaction for making someone feel lousy and a (false) sense of superiority over that person.

Criticizing a woman's body is one of the most hurtful things that can be said to her. What's sad is: women are the ones who are more likely to criticize other women's bodies because they know that it's a good way of hurting other women. Instead of encouraging other women, they say things to put them down. Isn't life hard enough with PMS, guy problems, childbirth, money issues, illnesses, etc? Why do such women prefer to seek pleasure in vicious insults rather than to do things that are wholesome and good for themselves? Sometimes such women would get together and make fun of a common target. It sure makes me imagine a group of wicked witches with big moles on their hooked noses, gathering around a pot of boiling frog slime stew!


Anonymous said...

Insightful article by a woman about women.
It could be cultural, societal or a host of reasons, but women are generally more disadvantaged than men.
At the biological level, woman's choice is limited. She cannot 'try out' her mating partners without being labeled as a slut.
A man can.
At the mental level, she is fair game for all male hunters. As a woman, for reasons stated above, she can hardly 'hunt' the men!
As if the above disadvantages are not enough, she even has to compete with her own gender; who may be prettier, smarter, richer, etc,
Small wonder, that a woman will hardly see another woman in a friendly light!
This manner of treatment puzzled me for a while. After I had gone thru the grindstone of life, I realized the wisdom of one of my teachers(a woman); "Help a man and he may return the favor one day. Help a woman and she may shit on you one day!"
Even as a person with a gentle disposition towards the fairer sex, I can say without hesitation that most women are just too small-hearted. Or they wonder whether the nice men have sinister motives for helping them!
Women can rightfully blame society for disadvantaging them.
BUT, the saddest thing of all? Women should mostly blame themselves for being so stingy, towards their own gender.
Any one disagree?
Regards, Leo

Yu-Kym said...

Leo, yes it's very sad. Women don't even bother to stand up for other women who were sexually harassed in the office (http://yu-kym.blogspot.com/2010/02/sexual-harassment-in-office.html) or raped by the husbands (http://yu-kym.blogspot.com/2009/07/marital-rape-is-legal-in-singapore.html).