Withholding Sex

As some of you may know, I haven't had much luck with meeting the right guy for a long-term relationship. So whenever I tell my friends that I'm going to meet a new guy, they tend have some friendly advice for me. One advice that I hear very often is to play hard to get in the sexual sense, i.e. to withhold sex. I hear this advice from women as well as men.

It seems if a gal gives in to sex too soon, the guy won't take her seriously. She is supposed to withhold sex from him until she thinks he has proven that he's serious enough to be given the "gift" of sex. I'm sure you have heard about gals who get dumped shortly after giving in to sex. Was it because the guy couldn't take her seriously anymore after he found out that she's "easy" instead of hard to get? I think most likely the guy was putting on an act from the start - all he wanted was sex and the feeling of conquest. Or maybe the gal was a dead fish in bed? I would like to think that guys won't dump gals just because of that but perhaps I think too highly of you :P

I believe there are people who have absolutely no urge to have sex with an attractive person whom they've just met so withholding sex is not a problem. For others who have stronger sexual appetite, the urge to have sex *comes* naturally. Are they supposed to pretend not to have a sexual appetite? I understand the concept of self control but if both parties want it, how long exactly are they supposed to pretend?

I don't think withholding sex has any value in a creating a long-term relationship. Have you ever heard anyone say, "Our relationship didn't work out because we had sex too early" ? Sounds ridiculous to me.

Note: I'm not saying people should jump straight into bed when they meet but, rather, there is no need to withhold sex for the sake of it.

My previous posts:
[Sex clouds your judgment]
[Sexual bribery]
[I only have sex with my boyfriend]


E_T said...

agree with you on this. I had sex with my gf on our second date and we are still going strong after 3 years.

pych69 said...

just follow ur instinct..purposely withhold ur feeling or even sex to someone u fancy will be meaningless

Chan said...

it depend on that guy whether he is using his top part or his bottom part body. if is the bottom part that decided, she can survive in the game of love after he ejaculated n doesn't feel like kicking her off the bed. that is bcos sometime the "evil" bottom part of the body have the urge 2 mate n release a wrong signal 2 the brain 2 make him hit on the girl, which sometime not his type, that give them green light. the brain confuse that urge 2 mate feeling as the love in 1st sign feeling. guys only realize clearly whether is love or urge 2 mate after he get some. cheapo think is saving rather go 2 prostitute. so girl, u need 2 know whether he is possess by which part of him body when he approach.

Hor ny Ang Moh said...

Hi! Now I have heard of 'withholding tax' but 'withholding sex' is the first time!!!
He! He! Most normal guy with active 'didi' sure will like to poke an attractive lady unless something is wrong with his 'didi'..

Anonymous said...

i like all the topic u have raised about sex and relationship, gambateh!

Anonymous said...

could u share with making love style? eg.what can man do when gal on top, my gf tell me if the guy knows the technic, can make gal veli high 1, according to u, what my gf try to tell me?
your answer can really help me alot... "kam siah" thank you.. i love u ~!!

Yu-Kym said...

ET, thanks for sharing and confirming my theory!
Horny Ang Moh, ya the title was intentional :)
Anon, about sex positions, there are many resources on the internet. Different women like different positions. I suggest you do some research with your gf and try them out.

Anonymous said...

I say what's wrong with a girl withholding sex from a guy to attempt to realise a specific objective? If she thinks she can do it without ramifications, go ahead. I think it's a great idea to use sex as a strategic weapon. lol

Same with the man. But in his case, he withholds the money if he is rich. A man withholding sex from a girl he detests yes. But from a girl he lusts for, never heard of. So generally a man never ever withholds sex from a girl. lol

But....how many women or men have the qualities or capabilities to withhold this or that? Not many.

So before you girls or guys withhold anything, you best be sure you have it or you lose your target. And look foolish at the same time. lol

silli cat