Who ever wants to hear the truth?

How do you answer a fat friend who asks you, "Am I fat?" Of course she's fat! But, no, you are not allowed to tell her that. She won't want to hear the truth. You need to tell her that she's just big-boned or something.

We all like to hear only the good things - even if they aren't true. When I was in secondary school, the girls were always telling lies to their friends who wanted to hear lies. Here's how it goes...
Girl: Do you think he likes me?
Girl's bestfriend: Of course he likes you!
Girl: But he didn't return my call and didn't ask me out again.
Girl's bestfriend: He's just busy. Don't worry, he'll call you back.
Girl: I saw him with that bitch from B class.
Girl's bestfriend: Must be something to do with their ECA. How can he possibly like her? She's such a bitch!

At work, we don't like being criticized. Performance appraisals usually start off with your boss mentioning all the good stuff and then moving on to a "how you can improve" lecture followed by the "you've got potential" words of comfort, i.e "maybe you have it but you just don't have it yet". I don't enjoy getting criticized because it makes me feel lousy. But the best bosses are those who would give "constructive criticism", i.e. suggest areas for improvement and development that would help the employee personally and professionally. They do it at the risk of employees being unhappy with them for pointing it out. In fact, tendered my resignation once after receiving a "how you can improve" lecture from my boss because I felt what she said wasn't fair.

The same thing goes for friends. It's hard to tell your fat friend the truth because you are afraid to hurt her feelings or afraid to lose her friendship. But I think a real friend would take the risk and be truthful. If your friend needs to lose weight for health reasons, please don't allow her to be in denial of her weight problem. (Anyway being fat does not mean that the person is undesirable or not beautiful. In porn, there's a whole category for such women: BBW, big beautiful women.) And if your friend needs to know that the guy she is seeing is just using her for sex, what kind of friend would you be if don't tell her the truth?

Here's an old advertisement by the radio station Gold 90.5 FM titled "Only hear the good stuff". Enjoy!


Anonymous said...

At least useful in bed. Good mah..