What you want is not what we want

There's a tendency to assume that what's good for ourselves is also good for someone else. Our of goodwill we sometimes want others to have the same. Obviously, not everyone wants the same things. Where decisions need to be made on behalf of a group of people, e.g. citizens of a nation or followers of a religion, we can never please everybody all of the time.


I had a conversation with a lady from Pakistan. She is a well-educated, English-speaking lady in a senior position of a reputable firm in Pakistan. She said that what we see on the news is not a good representation of the real situation. Not everybody wants the type of freedom, e.g. religious freedom, that the Americans have. From her perspective, the majority of the people don't. However, certain high-profile politicians or people they have their own agendas. What we get to hear on the news is limited to what these people think or say.

I'm sure there are similar situations in other countries too.

Can people handle freedom?


Some values, ideas and legislation from the West, have caused much distress to people. One of it is monogamy.

This writer wrote about how the idea of monogamy introduced by the West has caused distress to Muslim women in countries where the population is imbalanced resulting in women not being able to find husbands or the 2nd wife getting alienated by society for "stealing" another woman's husband.
(A Muslim man can take up to 4 wives subject to certain rules and guidelines.)
[Read article here]

In China, there are 30 to 40 million more men than women of marriageable age.
Should Chinese women be allowed to take more than 1 husband? :P


Not long ago Singapore, divorce used to be uncommon and there was a of social stigma associated with being a divorcee. The Muslims had allowed divorce since ages ago. Catholics are said to forbid divorce but the marriage can be annulled if certain criteria are met. In Philippines (a Catholic country), divorce is illegal.

Is this what people want?


This practice was illegal in many countries to start with. It was only in 1970 that Singapore legalised abortions, mainly to reduce the number of deaths from women who had complications after going for illegal abortions.

Is this what people want? Is this what the fetuses want?

Gender & Sexuality

Not everyone wants gender equality at work. E.g. sometimes women get hired over men for receptionist jobs because they just seem more approachable.
Not everyone is comfortable living and working alongside gays and lesbians but there are people, like me, who don't mind and don't care.

Living with parents

Most American adults would have moved out by the time they reach 21 years of age. In Singapore, most would live with their parents until they get married.

I mentioned to someone that I was living with my parents, he commented, "Aren't you a bit too old to be living with your parents?"
I tried using this same response on a Singaporean guy who is living with his parents. He said, "I bought the house and where else would my parents live if not with me?"

Of course there are Singaporean adults who live off their parents, rather than take care of their parents, and don't even feel ashamed to do so. Parents might even be happy to take care of their children as long as they can. So even if a Singaporean adult wants to move out of the parents' place to avoid imposing on them, the parents might get upset!


I don't think religion is good for everyone. Some people have seen their family members develop mental and physical problems and relationships sour because of religious fervor. Wars have started and people have been killed over religions. Of course, there are many great accomplishments and contributions to the human kind that resulted too. Note that there are many religions in the world, some of which are not even known to the us.

I think most religions encourage people to do things for the good of mankind. Even the extremists believe that what they do is for the greater good even though other people don't think so!

Who should determine what's good and what's bad? The jury is still out.
(I don't think they're coming back anytime soon).


Anonymous said...

What is undisputed is that in this world there is good and there is bad. There are grey areas but there are also clearly black and white zones, nonsense and sensibles.

True.... What is foolish is to assume always that "what is good for one will be good for another".

But what is more foolish is to use the above excuse to reject sensible ideas and to also say "what is sensible to you may be insensible to me!

What is also true is some ppl learn the hard way and take the more tumultuous route... and some have it easier in life.

Why is that so? U ask yourself frankly!

The ultimate test is what and how is your life been so far? You are the best judge.

Your frank answer which you only know yourself.....all boils down to your degree of wisdom, sound decision making (and perhaps a dose of luck). One takes the road one chooses, suffer or benefit from it.

curious cat

Anonymous said...

My take on:


No, most (if not all) ppl cannot handle freedom. You give them freedom or power, the world will come to an end. Human beings are by nature reckless and greedy if given too much of a good thing.


Putting aside right or wrong, our maker probably do not intend either men or women to stick to one sexual partner. Other than the fact that there is probably one man who will be most compatible (in all aspects) with one woman in every 1 million ppl (perhaps think key and keyhole analogy), sexually speaking monogamy is not intended by our creator. This is because many keys can fit many keyholes only in sexual terms, not overall compatibility.


Our Maker too do not intend life to be sacred. If it is truely sacred, HE will not allow the innocent to die in so many different ways (illnesses, natural disasters, wars, etc) through no fault of their own. So where it comes to abortion, i say if you cant raise the child properly or for any reason, abort it! Life is not intended to be sacred. But you ought to be rotanned to be so reckless. keke

Gender and Sexuality

Again you give human beings the liberty to decide on this issue, the fate of the weak and helpless will come to an end or be persecuted by or subjugated to the whims and fancies of the so-called superior gender. There is no way the superior gender or sexuality can live harmoniously and equitably with a lesser one.

Living with Parents

There are parents who encourage it and thre are off-springs who take advantage of it. Both parties are responsible for the outcome, good or bad. To each his own.


The jury IS out on religion otherwise you wont see it being so widespread. Religion serves a very useful purpose for those who need it. We cannot denigrate these ppl if we ourselves do not see the need for a religion. But unfortunately religion can also result in misuse and abuse. That is the result of human kind's imperfection. We have each a brain and each mind works differently, all the time imperfectly. Who's fault but our Maker!

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

As mentioned in my evaluation of my past 10 years, http://yu-kym.blogspot.com/2010/01/new-year-goals-and-resolutions-part-1.html ,
I learnt the hard way that what people keep telling me is WRONG! I guess I was hanging out with the wrong crowd LOL.

Anonymous said...

yup...i guess that could be the main reason. But the true reason is you just have to be much wiser the next 10 yrs. Believe in yourself but dont close all doors. Surround yourself with wiser ppl. Like me. keke

curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

Haha! What works for you may not work for me. I'll have to take your advice and apply it in my own way.

Anonymous said...

But of course Yu-Kym..u said right. Everything is never cut and dried. But the basic principles are universal and evergreen. Good luck the next 10 for a start! lol

curious cat