Solitude and loneliness, anti-social and introverted

Ever met people or are you someone who simply cannot eat alone or do anything without a partner? Some people dislike being alone. They say the worst part of being alone is being seen alone. They think that it's pathetic. They wouldn't let themselves been seen eating alone. If they do not have an eating companion they would rather buy food home to eat alone so that at least nobody sees them eating alone. I'm not sure whether to be afraid to be seen doing things alone is a Singaporean thing. I do see Caucasians doing things such as sports and sightseeing alone and they don't seem to have a problem with being alone.

Some of you who read my blog or who know me in person may have already figured out that I enjoy being alone. People have asked me why I don't always travel or go out with friends often and whether I feel lonely. Being alone doesn't mean that I'm lonely. There is a difference between solitude and loneliness.

Solitude: the state of being alone.
Loneliness: a depressing feeling of being alone.

For example, I may feel lonelier at a function in the company of people whom I dislike than in solitude at home. There is a difference between solitude and loneliness. I enjoy solitude, meditation and spending time taking care of myself physically and mentally. Of course, there are certain things that are safer or more practical if done with at least one partner such as diving or rock climbing.

People who don't know me in person may be led to think that I'm anti-social or an introvert. Some guys have commented that I'm an introvert just because I wasn't interested to go out with them. And they meant that as an insult. Is a person who enjoys solitude necessarily anti-social or introverted?

Anti-social: unwilling or unable to associate in a normal or friendly way with other people.
Introverted: shy.

Why does there have to be negative connotations associated with these words? Parents would sign their children up for classes such as speech and drama classes to get them to interact with other children if they suspect that their children might be introverted. People do not feel comfortable interacting with introverts, especially at work, because they know what the talkative people are thinking and their great ideas (or lack of) but they can never know when the introverted colleague sitting in the corner of the office might come up with a grand plan take over the company and become the boss!

I think introverted, anti-social people are more pleasant than extroverted, attention-seeking social butterflies. Btw, some of the people whom we regard as geniuses such as Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Ludwig van Beethoven and Vincent van Gogh were thought of to be introverted and even anti-social. So parents who sign their introverted children up for speech and drama classes might be doing a great disservice to the human race! Just leave those children be because shhh... genius at work!


Anonymous said...

The worst part of being alone is returning to the emptiness of the place you call home.

I personally enjoy being alone. I think most people who dislike being alone is due to the fact of low self esteem and confidence


Yu-Kym said...

I love returning home to an empty home, except for fear that my place might be overrun with creepy crawlies while I was away.

I think you are right about the confidence and self esteeem part.

Anonymous said...

It's perfectly fine to like solitude as long as one is psychologically or mentally sound. lol

Like i said, if one is not, the eventual product is a ticking timebomb!

Problem is there are ppl who appear normal on the outside and unaware of or in denial of what is happening inside and dont know they are about to explode! lol

In your case Yu-Kym, you are generally sound for the most part! keke... but the day u come home and see creepy crawlies swarming your place is the day u have imploded or self-destruct. lol

curious cat

Anonymous said...

....and one more thing Yu-Kym...when suddenly u see creepy crawlies in your room, dont u believe what i say about the insects being there in your room because they have an affinity to your scent!


curious cat

Yu-Kym said...

Oh! Then I'm not really "alone" at home :P

Anonymous said...

gosh u r bonkers! lol

curious cat