A society without monogamy and marriage

It's well-known that men in general have higher sex drives than women. Monogamous relationships set forth by most modern societies have resulted in much distress both for men and women. Men are distressed because they have to control their sexual urges. Women are distressed because their partners are cheating on them.

In Singapore, it is common for married men to have affairs or at least to have strayed at some point in their marriage. If they don't, then it is said that the woman is very "lucky". Married men who indulge in couch-potato activities or in expensive hobbies such as golf, cars, collectibles stop their wives from complaining by saying "at least I'm not fooling around outside".

That sort of attitude indicates to me that men feel that they are doing women a favour by marrying them! That's a disgusting thought, isn't it?

The truth of the matter is: women can live without men but men cannot live without women. (Women who cannot live without men usually have self-esteem problems. All men have self-esteem problems - we call it ego.)

I'm not going to suggest that men should do a better job at controlling their sexual urges or that women should not put up with men's bad behaviour but, rather, allow me to simplistically consider an alternative society where monogamy and marriage do not exist. Men are free to sleep with as many women as they can attract. They will work hard to look good and earn lots of money. Women get to select their partners according to their personal preferences, e.g. looks, wealth, power, intelligence, etc. If women want to have children, they would only select the men with "good genes" (if they want healthy children they would select healthy men; if they want intelligent children they would select intelligent men). The state bears the cost of child-raising by providing cash and subsidies to women with children. Men need to work to support the state and they would be motivated to work because having greater wealth makes them attractive to women and gets them more sex. Women, on the other hand, do not need to work. They spend their time making themselves look good to attract men and because they don't work, they would have time to have sex and would never have "headaches" from stress at work. In this alternative society, people would be relatively healthy because only people with the best genes would be having sex and giving birth. Everybody looks good or, at the very least, is well-groomed. The men are hardworking. There would be no problem with low-birth rates because women are paid to have children. If you're wondering about AIDS, yes, condoms exist and perhaps the future generations of healthy children would develop an immunity against AIDS. I would like to try living in this society. Would you?

[Read my previous post, Marriage: The necessary evil]


soya1942 said...

Hello, was searching for the post about women exchanging sex while hoping to be loved but can't seem to find it again. Can you kindly point out which post it was in?

Thank you :)

(sorry that the comment is unrelated to the post, but i couldnt find anywhere to drop a message)

Yu-Kym said...

Hi soya, here's the post :) http://yu-kym.blogspot.com/2009/04/sexual-bribery.html

soya1942 said...

Thanks! Btw, what you're suggesting is humanity in a perfect order where each sex plays their role without encroaching on each other's territory. However, humans are suppose to be unpredictable and random. Even in such an ideal state, they would eventually become restless and seek to break the monotony of events by forming conflicts.

Perhaps attaching each human to a machine that provides a virtual reality best suited to that individual would be a better idea? Then the machine can harvest their body heat and whatever else to generate energy (aka Matrix).

Just an opinion, cause i can't stand too much order in a society.

Yu-Kym said...

Well, that was just a simplistic idea. I could write a whole book about it if I wanted to go into the details! Btw, are humans really that unpredictable?

I love sci-fi! Maybe that machine would exist in the future!

David said...


You make some interesting generalizations:

Men are distressed because they have to control their sexual urges.

This paints all men with to broad a brush.
Perhaps 16 to 20 something guys are always hot for a cheap girl, this does not apply to all men, even in SG.

Women are distressed because their partners are cheating on them.

This is realistic, but still use to broad a brush. Some men and women do have a relationship built over time, resulting in a relationship of trust.

You completly skip what marriage work, what make marriage possible in the first place.


Think about love, the real mature love that devoted men and women promise and freely give only to a partner, and NO OTHER.

Genuine love involves hate.

Genuine loves means that we hate evil.

Genuine love means that we will fight against evil in our life.

Resist it to the best of our ability.

We detest its creeping into our hearts and ruining our relationships. We abhor its effects on those we love. We are repelled by the eternal destruction it causes in those whose lives are tender, or weak, or wavering.

So the very best thing we can do for those we love is to cling to what is good and stay far away from evil and wickedness.

Think about this. It is evil that we allow into our lives that destroys relationships.

Choice my dear young friend. Freedom to choose between good and evil.

Yu-Kym, what do you think?


Yu-Kym said...

David, I mentioned "in general" at the start of the paragraph. I don't believe that these problems affect all men or all women.
On love, we can talk all day about love but nobody can really define it. http://yu-kym.blogspot.com/2009/03/what-is-love.html
I believe in freedom of choice to do what's "right". I do not believe in "evil" or the "devil". Ultimately it's still the person who makes the choice. Blaming it on a thing called evil or the devil is to shirk one's responsibility.

Hayabusa said...

Blaming it on a thing called "evil" or "devil" SOUNDS like shrinking one's responsibility, but mind this (my own thought though), it's also one's responsibility to contain that evil, if one lets one's evil spill & harm others, than it's still one's responsibility (in my opinion, even bigger responsibility).

Ok, back to the subject. HELL NO!! i won't wanna look good all the time just so i can get some gal to fuck all the time, that's goddamn tiring. & i certainly don't want be fucking my sisters or close cousins by accident...

Yu-Kym said...

Hayabusa, so you won't bother to look good, even for your wife? Or is that too tiring? I don't mean to be sarcastic. I observed that many people don't take care of their appearance after getting married.