How to improve your online dating success

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Last Saturday night, I added a new App to my facebook account called "Are you interested". The App is very easy to use and I was rather trigger-happy, clicking continuously. As I scrolled through the interminable list of photos, I couldn't help but wonder at some of them: what were these people thinking??? I saw some of my single guy friends' photos too. Knowing them personally, I thought some of their photos didn't do them justice. Maybe they are clueless or maybe they forgot that updating their profile pictures affects the pictures displayed on the App.

People put in so much effort into preparing their resumes for jobs that they will unlikely be keeping for life so shouldn't they put in as much if not more effort with online dating if they're hoping to get any results?

Now, I won't be "qualified" to write this if I didn't attain a certain degree of success myself on the App. Here are my stats: within 48 hours of adding the App, more than 100 people clicked "Yes" on me and more than 80 had viewed my profile. My "who likes me" list literally exploded - in case you didn't know, that list can only store up to 101 names - I don't know exactly how many actually clicked "Yes" on me. I'm posting a screenshot in case you don't believe me. My friends on facebook can verify that I've only just added the App on Sat. I'm writing this post not to brag. What I hope to do here is to offer my suggestions on how to improve your online dating success.
1. First impressions matter
"It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances." - Oscar Wilde

The MOST important thing is your profile picture - the very first thing that people see. I know many people say they don't take photographs often or they don't look nice in photos. If this is the case, then go to a photo studio and get some photographs taken professionally. I'm not suggesting that you should try to be someone else - the photographs are still of you and a good photographer will help bring out the best in you.

In your pics, do (do it, not just try to do it):
a. Smile and look approachable in your pic
b. Represent yourself appropriately in your pic. E.g. if you hate sports don't put a pic of yourself in sports wear, if you like riding your bike take a pic of yourself with your bike if you like suntanning at the beach take a pic of yourself doing that
c. Look into the camera as if you are making eye contact with the viewer

There are certain types of pics you should avoid posting:
a. Pics with your ex or any one who can possibly look like your partner
b. Pics of you with children and babies (unless they are yours and you want people to know it)
c. Pics of you eating, drinking, smoking or in the company of many women (e.g. at Hooters)
d. Pics of you wearing sunglasses unless you look bad without them
e. Aged photos of how great you used to look
f. Pics of something that is not you (e.g. dog, scenery)

A picture can speak a thousand words. If you post a poor pic, it will only say one thing: yuck!
Do work on your pic. Sometimes you only get one shot in life.

2. Writing about yourself
Don't write tooooooooooo much. Most of the time, nobody reads it. People don't have time to read long stories unless they know you personally or you got them interested in your pic.

3. Don't wait for the sky to fall
If somebody shows interest in you and you're interested too, take the initiative to send a message to that person and respond promptly.

4. Corresponding
Next step is to talk about something meaningful. A mere wink or "how are you" is not very meaningful. You could talk about common interests or ask questions about his/her interests. Put in some effort to read the person's profile to show that you are interested. If you were going for a job interview you would do some basic reading about the company, won't you?

5. Dating
Movie, dinner and drinks dates are safe and common. It works for most people. But dates are not "one size fits all" so you may have to come up with something that suits his/her interests. E.g, if I say I don't like watching movies and you ask me out for a movie date, of course my answer is No. Be original! Most importantly, be yourself and have fun!

Don't worry if you're not getting many "Yes" clicks. What you want is to attract the "right" type of people. A person who received 100 "Yes" clicks isn't necessarily more successful than someone who only received 1. You may only need to get just 1 from the right person!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

haha this is so true...
haha thanks for the advices..

jack

Anonymous said...

i would say just take up the courage and go for it. i met my girlfriend (now 5yrs) at friendster.com (during its peak). First, we exchanges messages, e-mail then followed by phone calls and eventually met up. Well, things flowed smoothly and we are now 5 years together.

Yu-Kym said...

That's great! Congrats!

~Pink Miu Miu~ said...

Verrry interesting :-)