Sexual release helps creativity?

I (used to) have a friend who writes text books for a living. It has been difficult for me to start writing as much as I did before so I shared with him on a text message that I have been feeling anxious about some (temporary) things that are happening in my life and asked him how he manages to find the mental space to write.

We are not close friends and he doesn't know much about my private life so I was surprised when he suggested that sexual release would help my anxiety issues and help my creativity to flow. Regardless of whether there is any truth to it or not, it is such a crass suggestion!

I wrote back that I disliked his comment. But he insisted that this is something he teaches his students.

I don't know whether he was suggesting the two of us have sex to enable my writing but he sure sounds like a bomoh (a Malay shaman) that teaches his followers that to exorcise the demons in them or cure their illness they would need to let him bang the demons out of them!

A guy should always foot the bill?

I heard from my friend that her married male friend complained that his wife makes him pay for everything, including their food and taxi. She's a stay-at-home mom and she wants to find a part-time job. This guy and his other guy friend think she is very wrong for not splitting the expenses and also wrong for wanting to find a part-time job because she should concentrate on taking care of the family.

I think those guys have strange logic:

1. If women should share the cost of living, then what is the purpose of having a man? Companionship? Sex? Oh, please! These are things that men, not women, need from the opposite sex.

2. What's wrong with a woman (married, with a child) having a job? If the man makes tonnes of money, has many servants are home and needs someone he trusts to run the household, then he would be wise to ask his wife to concentrate her effort on running the household. He doesn't think that she might need some intellectual stimulation beyond watching TV at home while breastfeeding the baby. Well, of course not because he can't imagine himself needing any more stimulation than that! God, give him boobs! 

3. Where is the woman supposed to get her money from if she's not working?! Does he pay her for having sex with you? Obviously not because he married her for the lifetime unlimited free sex!

I asked a 31 year old guy friend whether he thinks the woman should split the bill with her boyfriend or husband. He said initially he would foot the bill but as they get closer he would expect the woman to start paying for more and more of the expenses. If the man is unable to afford something the woman should contribute what she can, especially if they are married. Isn't the woman then paying money to be a baby-sitter to a big baby who can't clean up after himself and to offer him sex?

Perhaps people think this of me: you are still single because you have these expectations. Sure, they are entitled to their narrow-minded views. They don't consider the possibility that there are people who wish to date me "despite" my expectations. I believe a guy should always foot the bill, even if he's still serving national service. If he can't afford to buy me an ice cream what does he expect me to eat? His? It's not even as tasty as he thinks!

Travelling is a lazy way of trying to sound more interesting

No idea how to spend the long week? Take a vacation overseas and instantly become a more interesting person!

 Have you ever met anyone who is well-traveled ? I'm sure you have. He has been there, seen and experienced those amazing things, wow right?

 When I was on Tinder for several weeks - but have since deleted my account - I noticed that most people listed travelling as one of their hobbies and many would brag about the number of countries they have visited.

Do people have anything better to say other than that have travelled to X number of countries? In the past when travel was expensive, someone from overseas or who has travelled extensively seemed intriguing. But now, it's nothing. Even my mother who hates travelling has travelled overseas.

"Interesting" is relative, of course. I don't think the number of countries a person has been to represents how interesting he is on a scale of 1 to 195 (because there are 195 countries in the world). Travelling is not about checking off a bucket list of places to visit. If you've traveled to 195 but have nothing more to say than "I've traveled to 195 countries", then you're missing the point.

Dear friends, I miss you

Last year, I was invited to a new year's eve BBQ party with my university friends. In the invitation, family and children were invited too. I'm glad I declined because I would have fainted there from the number of children present!

Separately,  I've been trying to arrange a 3-girl gathering with my junior college friends. One of them is married and has a child. Meeting up would inevitably include a buy-1-get-1-free situation with her child.

Saying out loud "I have no interest in playing with your children" to a friend who has children might be as taboo as saying "I love having great sex as often as possible" (though I can't figure out why the latter should be the case - you must have done quite a lot of it to have children). But, dear friends, I want to catch up with you, not your child. What happened to the individual? I want to talk to you - the individual - not "daddy" or "mummy". Sure, everybody's children so clever and so cute but I don't have the intellectual interest to communicate with your children. It's not them; it's me.

Dear friends, I miss you. I am interested to know how you are doing and to have adult conversations with you. I know your family is an important part of your life. But you should not forget the individual that you are. Would your family be able to manage if you took a few hours off for yourself? Most of all, are you interested to know how your friends are doing and to have adult conversations?

(Maybe I'm delusional and none of my friends are interested in my life :D )

Cincinnati: 27-31 January 2015

I'd only been to the US once. It was 8 years ago. I recall the long flight, hardly being able to sleep on the plane despite flying on business class and jet lag. So when I heard that I had to make a trip to the US to a quiet city again, I was not delighted. However, I'm the "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" sort of person, so I researched the free stopover flights and other places to visit. I went to San Francisco after my business meetings on my previous trip. This time, I selected Los Angeles and Las Vegas and soon enough I found myself looking forward to the trip! I'll write about those cities in my next posts but I did have some fun in Cincinnati, Ohio too.

27 Jan - 23-hours flight

I flew economy class this time at 6.55am. I had to transit twice - at Tokyo Narita airport and Detroit airport. The total flight time including transit time was 23 hours. A snow storm had just hit New York city. I was hoping my flights would not get delayed by it.

All 3 flights were full and thankfully only the last flight from Detroit to Cincinnati was delayed by half an hour. It was pleasant flying on Delta airlines. Service was good and the food was surprisingly nice. I brought biscuits and muesli bars with me because the meals on flights are never frequent enough. The safety videos are the most interesting and humourous that I'd ever seen. It was the first time I looked forward to watching the next safety video!

I'm not sure what the occasion was at Tokyo Narita airport.

US$4 to use the trolly at Detroit airport. Welcome to Detroit!!

The lights would change colour at this long tunnel at Detroit airport

Thankfully there was free wifi at Narita and Detroit airports so I could catch up on my emails and check the weather while waiting. I popped many Melatonin pills but I barely slept (total of less than 3 hours split into naps of less than 30 mins each and I didn't have a full night's sleep the previous night because of the early morning flight). When I was washing my face at Detroit, I felt faint and terrible - as though I had shortened my lifespan by a few months!  I finally arrived at Cincinnati at 5.30pm. There was snow on the ground. It was about 5 degrees Celsius here. I took a taxi to the hotel (it took about an hour). There was free chocolate chip soft cookies at the reception and 24-hour free flow of coffee and tea too. I had the cookies for dinner, sent an email informing my boss that I'd arrived and went straight to bed. 

28 Jan - work

I woke up feeling hungry at about 3am, as expected. I had my biscuits and muesli bars. I was so looking forward to breakfast at 6am though!

Hampton Inn Suites Springboro (USD89 with breakfast before tax, USD100 with tax) was nice and quiet, and the bed was very comfortable. I know I can always depend on American beds! They are all soft enough for me. There is a fridge, coffee maker and microwave oven in the room. The free wifi was dependable and fast.

This hotel is rather out of the way. I would have to depend on colleagues to fetch us around. It would be possible to call a taxi or the regular driver which my company uses but I would need to wait or pre-book.

Met my bosses at 7.30am and we went to the office right after that. No rest for the wicked! We worked the entire day till 5pm (lunched in - I had a huge fish sandwich which I split into my lunch and snack) then we left to meet our client for dinner downtown at  Mc Cormick & Schmick's. The food there was good and they even prepared special orders for vegetarians. It was 10+pm when we reached the hotel. I was feeling ok but really looking forward to enjoy the coziness of the bed. It was about 0 degrees Celsius and I felt my leggings weren't enough to keep me warm. Thankfully, I didn't have to be outdoors much apart from walking from the building to the car and back.

29 Jan - more work

It rained in the morning and it was really cold again. The ground was wet so I wore my trekking boots. I won't want to fall down on that cold, wet ground! We went downtown to our client's office for meetings. Someone shared that she slipped and fell the hotel - poor thing! Dinner this time was takeaway Indian food. It was very spicy and nice. I don't usually eat Asian food when I'm travelling outside Asia but this was going to be a 2-week trip so if I don't eat Asian food then I might not be able to survive till the end of the trip. Also, I was glad to have some leftovers to eat for my 3am pre-breakfast meal (thank goodness for the microwave oven).

30 Jan - some work

My bosses had other meetings today so I did not go with them to the office but worked from the hotel. I was grateful that my friend had some time in the late afternoon so he drove me out for food and some sightseeing. I felt rather crippled and stranded in the middle of nowhere! It was like living in a luxury prison without gates and bars.

We went to the premium outlet mall. It was very cold! That's why I had 1 hand in my pocket. Perhaps I was just too small because the shoes and clothes were all too big for me. I didn't buy anything here.

This shop stocks lingerie, adult and fetish gear. It seems the guy who opened this shop many years ago got shot because the conservative people weren't happy with having such a shop here. I didn't buy anything here either. Everything was so expensive and it's cheaper to buy stuff on the internet. 2 of the salesgirls here said that they loved my dress. I thought they were just trying to get me to buy stuff but my friend said it's probably because the women here don't usually wear dresses so people tend to notice when a woman wears a dress.

There wasn't any other place to visit so my friend suggested we get a drink at the Miami Valley Casion. My friend put in a dollar to teach me how to play a game and won $5.60 - just enough to pay for 1 drink.
For dinner, I walked to a fast food restaurant near the hotel. It was a 3-min walk but it was sooo unbearably cold  (about minus 2 degrees Celsius) that I had to get into the first restaurant that I saw.

31 Jan - skiing

Here's the fun part!

I moved to a hotel, Hampton Inn CVG Airport South (USD99 with breakfast before tax, USD110 with tax) , closer to the airport. They have a free airport transfer so I could be able to get to the airport easily for the morning flight the next day. It is also closer to the Perfect North Slopes where I was going skiing. The room wasn't ready then so I deposited my bag at the reception.

They provide tampons in the hotel's public toilet

The Perfect North Slopes are about 30 mins away from the airport.
I was lucky to have perfect weather. But what comes with perfect weather are the crowds! By the way, the snow that you see is fake snow.

This was my first time skiing so I was glad there were free lessons. I was here alone and did not know where to go or how to put on my skis. I had to ask "how to do I put it on" and "how do I take it off" but the people there were helpful and nobody laughed at me.

The ticket price (of about US$80 plus rental) includes a free ski 1-hour group lesson but nobody keeps track of how many times you go for the lesson so you can repeat the same lesson or parts of the lesson if you wish. It was quite a struggle to even get to the spot where they held the lessons. It was difficult to walk in the boots or to glide on the skis at first. In the lessons, I learned how to walk and glide with the skis, how to break/stop and how to turn. 

People taking free ski lessons

An instructor conducting free ski lessons

I could ski after 1 hour and went to try the easiest slope - the one in the background on the right side of this picture below. It was a challenge was getting onto the seats and getting off them. The lift operator at the top of the slope was sadistic. The area was small so there was always many people blocking the path. I fell many times there. Even when people are sprawled on the floor he wouldn't stop the lift until the floor had enough people's butts on them.  

Queue for the ski lift

I didn't fall on my first glide down the slope but on my second try, I was on the steeper side and fell. After I few times, I got the hang of it and didn't fall anymore. I tried parts of the intermediate slopes and I was fine there too. I would have tried more of those if I didn't have another 1 week to go for the rest of my vacation. I saw a few skiers brought away on stretchers and I didn't want that happening to me.

Lunchtime at the lodge cafe

I lost my one side of my gloves after this pic

I was here till it got dark. I could still continue but I figured it might be difficult for me to get a taxi if it got too late. There is free wifi in the lodge. I used the uber app to book a taxi. There was a free US$30 credit for new users. The trip was US$36 so all I paid was US$6. 

The room was ready now. The bed was soft and the room was comfortable. I was glad to be "home". I was feeling tired and hungry.

There are a number of restaurants beside the hotel. I went to a place (the closest) called Cracker Barrel Store for dinner. The US$9.50 meatloaf was delicious! Or was I just hungry? I feel my mouth  watering when I look at this picture.

Crowded so it must be good?

Fireplace in the restaurant
Cracker Barrel Shop. Gotcha!

For sale at the Cracker Barrel shop
I slept very well at night. I must have been exhausted after skiing. I did not wake up at abnormal hours. I think I had gotten over the jet lag. BUT now I'll have to go to a different time zone again!

Las Vegas, here I come!

No sushi, no sex!

A friend told me that he corresponded via email with a woman who asked him whether he likes sushi. When he replied that he didn't fancy it, he received an angry email from her stating that she didn't want to continue corresponding reason being "You saying that you don't like sushi is the same as I saying that I do not like sex. It would not be acceptable to you if I didn't like sex so it's not acceptable to me that you do not like sushi."

That sushi woman must have some sort of fetish about sushi for her to have compared sushi to sex!   

In one of the last episodes of TV series Sex and the City, Samantha awaited the return of her boyfriend while being naked with sushi on her body. Unfortunately, he was working and unable to come home that day. She dumped the sushi and eventually him too.

I'm certain sushi woman got her idea from Samantha! What else could explain her unwillingness to date a person who doesn't like sushi?

"If you want to f*** let's get it on" and rude things guys say

That was a rude message that I've received in my inbox from some random guy. That line won't work on any woman at all so why do guys bother to write such messages?

Another rude message that I received was from a guy whom I got to know at a special interest forum unrelated to sex and relationships. He is married and I did not flirt with him at all and all we discussed was the interest in question so I was surprised when he texted "your face is not pretty but it is pleasant and you have a sexy body. I must try!" What a rude and weird message!

I don't recall the exact words of another guy but the essence of it was that he was offering sex to me out of concern that I might be sexually deprived.

I have no idea where these guys learned to say such things! :O
They are disgusting and downright rude!